20 First Dates
by menmaas
Summary: Colonel Mustang has always known just how to smooth talk the ladies and Lieutenant Hawkeye is sick of his large ego getting in the way of work. The boys of Mustang's unit have come up with a challenge for Riza and Roy. Twenty dates each, one date each day and whoever seduces more people wins. Let the games begin. Will be M later on
1. The Challenge

**A/N: Hello fellow humans. So I had another idea that I am really excited about. Sorry if I have spelling mistakes and what not, I just am way to excited not to post this. So I hope you guys enjoy! There will be lemons in later chapters, I'll always remind you before you begin. Also, there is some swearing and dirty humor, so keep that in mind if you don't like it. Other than that, enjoy! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own FMA, but I do own a stuffed dragon named Frodo**

**Chapter 1: The Challenge.**

Second Lieutenant Jean Havoc glanced around the unbearably tiny office with whom he shared with five other officers, all consumed with an overwhelming amount of paperwork. He glanced down at this desk where the white sheets had now begun to topple over from being such a high stack and he suddenly regretted not calling in sick to work that very morning.

Man, he hated paperwork.

Letting out a loud, very noticeable yawn, Havoc stretched his arms out above his head in a dramatic fashion, hoping to catch the attention of one of his fellow co-workers. The usual hilarity and energy that filled the room was lacking quite a bit from his fellow workers, making today a day Havoc knew he was going to dread. He hated when the team began to drown underneath the pressure of handing things in on time. It was no fun.

Boredom never amused Havoc and right now, he was just about to hit his limit. He glanced around again, hoping somebody had looked up from their work to glare at him or bicker with him, but no such luck. All eyes remained focused on the task at hand, something he knew he should probably be doing as well.

He spun around in his chair, to look at the three men seated behind him. There was Breda, Falman and Fuery, the three laziest bunch of boneheads he knew, working ferociously to complete whatever tasks Mustang had thrown at them. He glanced towards his left where the bold and beautiful (although he'd never say that to her) Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye was sitting, in her usual position with her usual emotionless face. She worked too hard, thought Havoc, as always. His eyes peeled off his Lieutenant to the man in charge, Colonel Mustang. He could tell the Colonel was having just as hard a time trying to stay awake then Havoc was trying to do remove the grim mood that had been set in the room.

He watched the Colonel's, as his eyes slowly begin to shut, and Havoc made a bit with himself that Mustang wouldn't last another five minutes. He needed to find that man some fun. He knew (firsthand) that Mustang didn't need any help in the women department. But the women were usually only good for one night stands, one the fun was gone, it never came back. What Roy needed was a girlfriend., a steady girlfriend who knew how to keep the Colonel's spirits up.

_BOOM_

"OW!" A muffled cry from Mustang rang out. His eyes had finally given in and his whole body had fallen asleep, causing his head to bang against his hard wooden desk in an attempt to pass out.

"That's what you get, Sir." Lieutenant Hawkeye's reply came, not even glancing up at the Colonel. Havoc covered his mouth with his hand, trying to stuff his laughter back into his mouth. The Colonel hated being laughed at, but he couldn't help it. A bright red mark began to form on the center of Mustang's head and Havoc hooted with laughter, earning a glare from Mustang.

Breda, Falman and Fuery looked up at Havoc, curiosity ringing over all of their faces at why he was laughing. Havoc merely pointed to the now growing bruise on Roy's face. As if planned, all three of them burst into laughter joining Havoc. Hawkeye rolled her large brown eyes, annoyed that her commanding officer was falling asleep on the job…again.

Mustang glared at them, rubbing the sore spot on his head. "If you four don't shut up-"

He was interrupted by a large sharp snorting sound, an obvious trigger from laughing; causing all five heads, including Hawkeye, to look over at Breda, who was now covering his mouth with his hand.

"What! I snort when I laugh sometimes! Big deal…" He cried.

"Man, that's wasn't a fucking snort. I felt like you were calling your ancestors. Holy shit."

"It wasn't that bad, dick." Breda retorted, reaching over his desk to where Havoc sat and slapped him neatly upside the head.

"No it was worse man. Please don't ever do that again, you seriously frightened me."

"I'm gonna frighten my fist right up your-"

Hawkeye cleared her throat, a clear warning for them both to shut up before she whipped out her pistol and started shooting.

"Come on, Lieutenant. Aren't you at all sick of all this paperwork?"

She rolled her eyes again, a habit that she had grown quite accustomed to, not giving him an answer. She instead, picked up her pen and began to continue what she was doing. Sighing at his hopeless Lieutenant, Havoc rolled his chair over to where Breda, Falman and Fuery sat. He had their attention now, as Hawkeye returned to her duties and Mustang try too sooth the growing bump.

"Guess what?" He asked his three friends and they all looked up at him expectantly.

"I've got a date tonight."

"Fucking finally," Said Breda, clapping him on the shoulder. "Who with?"

"You know the secretary, who works on the third floor?" Havoc replied.

"Oh the one with the massive boobs?" Breda questioned, holding out his hands in front of his chest to mimic the girl's breasts. Havoc nodded his head and grinned like a kid on Christmas.

"She's beautiful." Said Fuery, who looked dreamily into the distance.

"Hey back off. I get enough stealing from Mr. Butterfingers over there," Havoc sighed, pointing at the Colonel who was still rubbing his forehead.

"I can't help it, Jean, that my charms are irresistible to the women of this fine nation. I obviously know more about pleasing women than you do."

That retort received a snort from Hawkeye.

All five men turned their heads to look at her. She couldn't help herself. She usually kept quiet when the boys started to bicker about women, finding it completely degrading. But sometimes, the Colonel's ego filled up the room a little too much and she couldn't help react to him thinking he knew how to please women. He couldn't even keep a steady girlfriend.

"Something funny, Lieutenant?"

"Not at all, sir." Her eyes dropping back down to the work on her desk, refusing to meet the eyes of her subordinates.

"There must be something funny; you did just laugh at me."

Havoc took this opportunity to chime in. "Even the Lieutenant knows that you suck when it comes to women."

Hawkeye spun around to look at Havoc. "What the hell do you mean 'even' the Lieutenant?" Her eyes glared into his and Havoc began to cower back.

Oops, now I've pissed her off, he thought.

"Come on, Lieutenant, leave the poor man alone. I think we all know what he meant." Falman interrupted, trying to make the situation better for Havoc. Unfortunately, he failed miserably.

"NO I DO NOT KNOW WHAT HE MEANT!" She yelled, causing Falman to jump behind Breda's muscular body. "ANSWER ME RIGHT NOW, HAVOC."

"Well…I mean…because you're so…"

"So what?" She inquired.

"So….you."

The veins in her forehead had grown explicably larger and her eyes bulged with anger as she looked upon the four idiots she called her subordinates.

"Oh come on Lieutenant," The Colonel's voice rang out from his where he was sitting, teasing her. "You know what he means. You're one of the guys."

"One. Of. The. Guys." She said through clenched teeth, now turning her glare onto her commanding officers. She could feel her eye about to twitch while glaring at him.

"You don't like fun." He said with a smirk, egging her on. He found it entertaining to get her riled up, unlike the rest of the boys who found her terrifying when she was angry.

"I will have you know, sir, that I am a fully fledged adult woman who enjoys fun just as much as the next person. "

"I'm sure you don't mean the kind of fun we were thinking, Lieutenant."

"I was assuming that you mean fun as in a sexually infused relationship, sir."

Roy raised an eyebrow as he looked down at his yellow haired hawk. "Did you just admit that you are a sexually active adult female?"

Hawkeye had…sex?

"I am not a nun, sir."

Interesting.

The room went silent for a few minutes at the new realization that Hawkeye was not just a workaholic but rather...a girl.

"Well, hubba hubba," whispered Havoc, his mind wandering to places he never thought it could go.

"If you don't wipe that look off your face and get your disgusting mind out of the gutter, I will not hesitate to come over here and shoot you in the-"

"PLEASE DON'T SHOOT MY MAN PARTS."

"I was going to say foot but that would work too." She smirked at him, reaching a hand into her holster as a threat.

"And so what, you think you can get more guys then I can get girls?" asked a now intrigued Roy and Riza tore her glare from Havoc to turn back to Mustang.

"That is not what I said, sir. I merely laughed at the thought of a man like you knowing how to treat a woman. Although I am acquired to the needs of men."

"Is that a challenge, Lieutenant?"

Riza's eyes grew wide. She knew what would happen if she took on a challenge from Roy. The boys did it all the time and they always ended messy. They would be about stupid things like who could eat the most hot dogs or who could hold their hand over a flame. She had never partaken in those stupid contests, knowing Roy won 90 percent of them and the punishments were always cruel. Not to mention it was just plain childish.

"No, sir!"

He smirked, knowing full well what he was doing. "Come on, Lieutenant. It would be fuuuuuun."

She shook her head, not willing to give into anything he was willing to offer.

"I'll make it worth your while." Roy pouted and Riza's ears perked up. She hated when he pouted.

"What the deal?" She muttered, knowing she was walking into a trap. The boys sitting to her right cheered at her giving into Mustang's game.

"Hey, I didn't say I was going to do it!" She stated. "I just want to know what's required."

That shut the cheering squad up.

"How about this," A small voice announced. Fuery had finally spoken up. "20 dates. 1 date per day for both of you. Men for the Lieutenant and women for you, sir. Whoever goes home with the most out of the 20 wins the bet."

Riza didn't like this. "What are we required to do with them once we get them back to our homes, Major?"

He shrugged. "That will be up to you to decide. Kick them out, make them tea, sleep with them. It doesn't matter. But it only counts if you get them to go home with you."

A nervous pit of dread caused Riza to take a deep sigh. She knew there was no way out of this and judging from the Colonel's smirk, he thought he had this in the bag.

"What are the stakes?" Asked Falman.

Roy looked at Hawkeye. What was something she would really want…

"I promise that if you win, for an entire month, I will stop lacking at my job. I will pick up the slack, finish the paper work and kick some serious work ass."

Having the Colonel actually do his job without her telling him to. That sounded like a nice vacation, not to mention it made her job a hell of a lot easier.

"Promise?"

He gave her a grin that shot straight through her body and he nodded. She shook off whatever the feeling was that was squeezing her heart and grimly agreed.

"Fine."

"And if I win, Lieutenant?"

Crap. She forgot it went two ways.

"I, for an entire month, will lay off your back at work. You can do whatever you want. No annoying Lieutenant to snap you into work mode. It's all you."

"I do believe a break from you will be a lovely thing." Roy muttered.

Well that was a low blow. She couldn't help feel a little hurt by that one. Did he really not like having her around?

"You have to shake on it now!" Cried Havoc, who was more excited than Roy and Riza combined. He always loved a good bet and with Hawkeye entering in, this was sure to be an interesting one.

The Colonel climbed around his desk and walked towards the Lieutenant, she reached out her hand and he took it. Looking into her eyes with a stare that made her weak in the knees, they shook hands.

"May the best man –"

"Woman."

"May the best man or woman…win."

**A/N – Whew, ok. It's three in the morning here and I'm just about ready to pass out, but I really hope you guys like the first chapter. I'm really happy about this story and it will be filled with Royai romance and humor, I promise. I would love a review because they make me enjoy life a little bit more.**

**Thank you for checking this out and I shall update as soon as I can! **


	2. The Zipper

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist nor the characters I provide with a plot. **_

**Chapter: The Zipper**

_Shit._

That was the only word flowing through Riza's mind as she walked into her tiny third floor apartment. The only word that could sum up what she was thinking and feeling. Being a twenty minute walk from Headquarters, she had a lot of time to think about what had just happened and what she just did. She was an idiot.

There was no way she could win this. Any confidence she had about shattering Mustang's ego and getting him to do his job melted away as she thought about the things she would have to do to win this bet.

She may have exaggerated the point to Mustang about her knowing men and their needs. I mean, she hadn't had a real date …in a long time. She wasn't a virgin, that ship had already come, done its deed and then sailed hurriedly away, but there was really only one man in her life.

Well two.

Black Hayate jumped up as soon as his master had opened the door, running towards her at full speed.

"Stop!" She said in a serious tone, holding her hand out right before he could jump on her. He paused in mid air and toppled gently to the ground, rolling back up to his feet and finally landing in a sitting position in front of her, his tail wagging rapidly. She smiled. "Good boy." She could always count on _him_ to listen to reason.

She bent down to the floor and gathered the pup in her arms, giggling as he proceeded to lick her face. "Calm down, Hayate. I've only been gone for a few hours." The dog whimpered and she smiled and kissed his fury black head.

She gently put him back on the floor and walked into her home. It was quiet, for the most part. The only disturbance she ever got was from her dog, loudly chewing or barking. But other than that, she had a lot of nights alone.

_Well I guess that's about to change,_ she thought with a sigh. Winning this bet was a long shot, true, but what if she did manage to get a man up here? It's had been so long, she wouldn't really be sure what to do or how to do it. Her main focus had always been the Colonel. For a long time, that's all that would make her content, protecting him. But sometimes…she just wanted to wring his dumb little head.

She wanted to show him that girls can be just as good as guys, no matter the task was.

She walked over to her tiny kitchen and grabbed herself something to eat. Her fridge was just about beyond empty and she realized that she hadn't had the time to grocery shopping in about a week. Not with her work and the Colonels work all piling up.

Her stomach growled, having not been fed since breakfast and it was now way past the sunset.

"Come on, Hayate," she called to her dog, his paws clapping against the ground as he waltzed over. "Let's get your leash. We're going out to eat."

* * *

Colonel Mustang sat at the small café shop, torn between going home and getting some sleep or flirting with the cute waitress who kept glancing over at him. She kept coming around to fill up his cup of coffee, lingering around him as if his presence was giving her a high. She came back around for the third time and gave him a smile. He grinned back at her, giving her a quick wink and the blonde waitress giggled, almost walking into the table behind her.

It was almost too easy sometimes, to get the girls. He would like a challenge once in a while but they usually swooned over him because of his rank. The Flame Alchemist was known to all and it usually worked in his favour to bring up who he was and what he did. Alchemists seemed to turn a lot of the female population on and he definitely wasn't complaining.

The waitress gathered herself quickly and walked back up to him, leaning over him so her boobs were in his face.

"Can I get you anything else, Mr. Mustang?" Her voice was shaky and full of desire.

He looked up at her, raised an eyebrow and whispered in his best seductive voice, "Mmmm, you would be nice."

A burst of laughter from behind him interrupted his thought process and he spun around to look at the culprit. Lieutenant Hawkeye stood there, with Black Hayate in one hand and her other hand pressed gently to her forehead in a salute.

"Sorry, sir," her lips were in a tight grin, trying to hold herself together. Black Hayate yipped at his Master, wanting to be let down. She let him go, holding onto the leash but the dog just dropped into a run, full speed for the Colonel and his booth, causing Hawkeye to drop it in surprise.

The dog, at the last moment, turned his view from the Colonel and spun it directly onto the waitress. With a growl, Hayate jumped up onto her legs, causing a shrill scream to escape from her as he chowed down on her apron.

"GET IT OFF, GET IT OFF."

And Hawkeye just really didn't have the heart to call him off.

Mustang turned to look at Hawkeye who stood there with a tiny smirk and when he realised she wasn't going to do anything but stand there with her arms crossed happily, he took charge of the situation.

"Hayate!" Mustang growled, grabbing the dog from his belly and pulled him up to his arms. Much to Hawkeye's surprise, the dog didn't fight and stayed very quiet. He never listened to anybody BUT his master.

"HE RUINED MY OUTFIT." The blonde waitress screamed in a rage, reaching for the black and white animal.

"I'd keep your hands to yourself." Riza finally spoke up, walking towards Mustang's booth and reaching for Hayate. With a glare, Mustang handed her dog over to her.

Nobody hurt her pet.

The waitress, realizing that she was also a state officer, cowered back and giving one last screech , she marched off to the back of the restaurant, boobs and all.

"What the hell was that, Lieutenant?"

"I apologize, sir," her face had lost all trace of humor and she snapped back into officer mode.

"Why didn't you stop him? He listens to your commands!"

She didn't respond.

"Lieutenant!"

"I apologize again, sir."

Well, that wasn't a straight answer. With a sigh, he rubbed his eyes, forgetting any chance he had of going home with that girl tonight.

"With all due respect, sir, doesn't the bet start tomorrow?"

Confusion masked his face as he looked up at yellow haired Lieutenant.

"So?"

"Well, I just thought that…"

"What?"

"Well, sir, did you really plan on going home with _her _tonight…using that pick up line?"

"What are you talking about; I had her in the palm of my hand!" He grinned like a child at his subordinate. He knew she was nervous about the bet and he couldn't help but taunt her. "Worried that you won't be able to come up with good enough lines to seduce someone, Hawkeye?"

The Lieutenants smirk returned much to his dismay. "Quite the contrary, sir, I am just surprised that those ones actually work. Saying that you want to have her as a next meal plan, that's very degrading sir."

Mustang laughed. "She didn't seem to have a problem with it. If it means I'll win, I'll do whatever I have to."

He still didn't get the point she was trying to throw across him. This bet was more than just proving who could seduce more men and women. She wanted to teach him a lesson, a lesson that he really didn't seem to grasp as of late. Women aren't just objects for him to use.

And that she was a woman as well.

But burying her true feelings and intentions down, she put up a mask. She was going to play dirty if she had to, knowing full well Mustang wouldn't hold back.

"I'll do whatever I have to as well."

"Good."

"Fine."

Silence struck around them as they peered at each other, both filled with determination to make the other as angry as possible. But as they were staring into each other's eyes, Hawkeye's breath began to hitch as the Colonel's eyes suddenly went soft and what was once an angry point proving glare now became a look of…longing?

Her eyes are quite beautiful, Mustang thought. He never noticed how her lashes extended, making her eyes look even larger and the brown colour even more like a rich mahogany. He couldn't help trace her face but somehow always ending looking back up into her eyes. She wasn't looking away either. Her breath now heavy. All the anger at him had now faded and it was just them, her eyes synchronizing with his. She was captivated by the look on his face, his features, his-

They were both shocked out of it by a bark from Hayate, who was watching the birds fly outside through the window. Roy cleared his throat, standing up from his booth.

"I have to leave, Lieutenant. Tomorrow. We'll continue this, I mean the bet, tomorrow." Oh, good sentence structure, idiot, he thought. What was wrong with him?

"Of course, sir," She saluted him once more, not daring to look back up into his black eyes.

What just happened, they both wondered as he left the café and she finally bough a meal to satisfy her hunger. Very Strange.

* * *

The next morning, after a rough night of not sleeping, Roy arrived at the office, where all of his subordinates were lazily sitting. Except for Riza, of course.

"Woah, what's with the zombie look, Colonel?" Havoc laughed.

"Shut up, Havoc."

"I'm just saying sir. How do you expect to pick up anybody when you look like you've been brought back from the dead?"

"The Colonel COULD be dead and he'd still get more action than you." Breda muttered.

"That's called necrophilia, douche," replied Havoc.

"Well I didn't mean-it came out wrong-I didn't-"

"If that's what you're into bud," chimed in Falman, clapping Breda in the back. "I always knew you were weird."

"Men, before we go into too much detail on Breda's sex life, I have a question." Hawkeye spoke up and all the eyes flashed to hers.

"Which one of you will be picking our dates for the next 20 days?"

The men all looked around at each other.

Fuery spoke up. "Well, we have all decided on five different people each. We've agreed which dates will be on which days. We're really organized with this stuff and-"

"Oh sure, you're organized with this stuff but not ONE OF YOU CAN GET OUR DAMMNED PAPERWORK DONE!"

"Come on, Lieutenant. This is just so much more FUN," whined Havoc, "seeing the Colonel and you go at it."

A blush rose to her cheeks at Havoc's choice of words and she quickly turned her face around as the heat rushed up. Hopefully, it went unnoticed.

"Are we going to be having the date in the same place?" Mustang asked.

Breda nodded. "It depends. Tonight for an example is going to have you at Rosie's Restaurant and Lieutenant Hawkeye will be two blocks away near that tiny little butcher shop."

"YOU PUT ME NEAR A BUTCHER SHOP!" She screamed. "THE ONE THAT SMELLS LIKE DEAD BODIES? YOU GENTLEMEN BETTER NOT BE PLAYING FAVOURS IN ORDER TO GET THE COLONEL TO WIN!"

Mustang smugly laughed. "Nobody can help it if they want me to win. It's only natural."

"Natural my as-"

"Nice mouth."

"Sorry, _sir_. I just don't think cheating is acceptable."

She spun around to glare at Fuery, Breda, Havoc and Falman who were all avoiding her satanic glare.

"You boys better change my location. RIGHT. NOW."

All four of them looked at Mustang and then back at Hawkeye. They needed to decide who they were scared of more, the Flame Alchemist…or a pissed off Lieutenant.

"Alright," said Havoc. "We'll change your date because I am really frightened at what you can do with a gun,"

She smirked and nodded happily. "Where to?"

"Well, the only option we have at the moment is too move you and Mustang's date to the same place. So, both of you need to be there at 7. We'll make sure everything's ready to go."

Mustang and Hawkeye both nodded, avoiding each other's gaze.

"This is gonna be fuuuuuuun," laughed Havoc in a sing-song voice.

* * *

What the hell do people wear on dates?

Riza was back in her apartment after a long day of work. Her entire closet was on the floor of her bedroom. Black Hayate was having the time of her life jumping through her pile of clothes while his master had a mental breakdown.

The restaurant was considerably fancy, she wanted to look nice of course. So after almost ripping out her hair, she finally decided on a black long dress, which covered her back of course but had a v neck that exposed her breasts just the right amount. Something her friend Rebecca gave her and something she promised herself she would NEVER wear. It was so revealing, something Hawkeye was definitely not.

After spending twenty minutes jumping up and down and squeezing into the dress, she managed to fit it properly. However, the zipper in the back wouldn't go up. She tried as hard as she could to get the damn thing all the way up but it was caught. The dress was hard enough to get on the first time, there was no way she could take it off, zip it up and try again. And there was no way she could ask her neighbours for help. She couldn't risk them seeing her tattoo as they were zipping it up.

She looked around the room, thinking about what to do.

"HAYATE!" She called to her dog as he wobbled from underneath her pile of clothes."I need you to bite the zipper. Bite it." She used a hand motion to show him biting. "Bite it, Hayate. Come on!" The dog looked at her with a questioning look.

"Oh come on. This is what you chose not to understand?! You're a dog, don't you like biting? Come on. Bite!" She pointed to her back at the little zipper she wanted him to chew. If she could just get him to clamp his jaws on it, she could move down to let the zipper go UP. Black Hayate cocked his head to the right, giving her a look of confusion.

"Never mind!" She said as another idea came into her mind. A sweater. She'd just wear a sweater over the back of her dress! It was perfect. After finding a lengthy black sweater that looked half decent with her outfit, she ran to the mirror to put on the limited amount of makeup she owned. A touch of mascara, eye liner and lip gloss and she was good to go.

She took her hair out of her clip, letting the pieces flow down. Her hair had gotten so long and she was still not used to it. She brushed out any tangles that had formed and then slowly looked at the finished product.

She looked…very presentable.

Glancing at her clock, she was it was 6:45 and she was already running behind schedule. She checked to make sure she had food for Black Hayate and then looking at herself one last time in the mirror. Putting on her heels (which she hated instantly) she left her apartment, butterflies soaring all throughout her stomach.

Meanwhile, Roy had arrived at the restaurant around 6:30, Havoc, Fuery, Falman and Breda all hovered together in their chairs about five tables away from him. Pretending not to be looking or spying on him. He rolled his eyes at them and gave them a very inappropriate finger. The snickered laughing and he rolled his eyes again. Fifteen minutes later, the door to the restaurant rang open and in walked…Lieutenant Hawkeye?

She was wearing a black fitted dress that covered right down to her feet. Her silver heels clinked as she walked towards them. Her make-up made her skin glow and her hair had never looked this yellow before. She was radiating and all five of them could not stop staring at their first Lieutenant.

"Sir." She smiled, saluting him. Glancing over at the rest of the boys, she leaned over to the Colonel and whispered, "Are they going to be there all night…just watching us?"

Mustang was still stunned at her appearance and opened his mouth, trying to speak. She gave him a confused look.

"What?"

"Nothing…you just look…you look…" He was having trouble coming up with the right word to describe her.

"Holy hell, Lieutenant, you clean up nice." Cried Havoc, who was two seconds short of a nose bleed.

Rolling her eyes, she muttered thanks, trying to keep the blush off her cheeks. Mustang felt pang in his stomach. He suddenly wanted to be the reason for that blush, not Havoc.

But then all too suddenly, he remembered why they were there. He straightened himself up, shook the thoughts out of his head and cleared his throat.

"Let's get this started shall we. How long until our dates get here?" He asked. Looking around the room to distract himself from looking at the Lieutenant. There were hoards of other people scattered across the restaurant, all consumed with their own lives. Hawkeye had sat at a table three seats across from Mustang, so she had a clear view of him and the rest of the boys could have a clear view of both of them. They all sat there waiting patiently for the night to begin.

And then out of nowhere, the Lieutenant let out a sharp gasp. Mustang looked up at her. "What's wrong?"

"Colonel, can you come with me for a moment. I think I may need your help sir."

She jumped up from her seat and quickly headed towards the bathroom at a full sprint. Mustang looked over at Havoc, Falman, Breda and Fuery and gave a little shrug. He quickly followed Hawkeye to the unisex bathroom.

She was looking over her shoulder into the mirror, pulling at the back of her sweater.

"I'm sorry to ask this of you, sir. But I seem to be having an issue."

"With what?"

"My sweater got caught in my zipper and it's digging into me uh you're the only one who can really help because of my…you know."

"Got it."

He moved towards her back and gently lifted the bottom of the black sweater, unhooking the zipper from it and then removing it gently from her shoulders. As he did, her pale back was visible to him and the burned tattoo that now brought back so many memories.

"Do…you mind…zipping it up for me?" She asked him quietly. He nodded, his gaze lingering on her back and following down her spine. Besides the scorch marks, her skin was really beautiful and soft. His fingers reached towards her back unintentionally, almost too lightly but just enough to graze it. She shuddered under his touch.

A knock on the door roughly pulled Mustang's hands way from her back and he swiftly pulled the zipper up, covering the tattoo. "Let's go Colonel, Lieutenant! They're here!" Havoc's voice cried out.

They both paused to catch the breath they seemed to have lost. Her back, although now clothed, was still towards him.

"Question, Lieutenant, what do you intend to do if you actually do manage to get a man back to your home?"

"What do you mean 'actually.' I have every intention of getting the men back to my apartment."

"But what about your tattoo. You don't want them to know…Right?"

She spun around to look directly at him. "What I do with my body and the secrets I chose to share are no concern of yours, Colonel."

She yanked her sweater away from him and swung open the door, walking towards the waiting dates.

* * *

**A/N – Okay, this was longer than I anticipated and I just kept writing, so hopefully it's not terrible? I have a lot of royai feelings and I couldn't help but add some subtle sexual tensions into it. I promise, the dates will start next chapter! **

**Also, I know the characters are OOC, but that's what makes it fun. If you leave a review, I'll bake you a cake. **


	3. The Date

**Disclaimer: Yeah, I still don't own fma. **

**Chapter 3: The Date.**

What Riza didn't want to tell the Colonel as she stormed away from him, was that she never intended to get any farther with her dates than a simple cup of tea. She had no reason to flaunt herself to these men, it gained her nothing. Whatever fulfillment the Colonel got from sleeping around was lost on her. So in any case, her tattoo would stay between them.

Taking a deep breath, she turned the corner and approached the man that Havoc had chosen for her. From what she could see, he had sandy brown hair that was cropped short around his face. He had his back towards her and looked as if he was fidgeting with the cutlery. He had ordered a bottle of red wine and the waiter stood above him, pouring it into the empty glasses.

The sound of her heels caused the man to spin around in his seat and look directly at her. Her breath caught in her throat as she saw that he had beautiful crystal clear blue eyes. He was very attractive with a slim nose and muscular cheek bones. He smiled at her and even his white teeth glowed.

She had realized that she had stopped walking, taken back by the man in front of her and taking time to stop and stare at him, which she realized was probably really creepy. She was just very surprised that the boys chose a half decent man for her to seduce.

She heard Mustang approach behind her, stopping just before he passed her. His shoulder brushed against hers and she was intoxicated with her Colonel's smell. He looked over at his table which was about five away from Riza's where his date now sat. She had long brown hair that landed just below her tiny waist, which humorously enough was barely covered by a skin tight red dress. Typical.

Riza snorted and rolled her eyes, landing them on Roy. He barely noticed her mocking glare as he was distracted by his dates…assets. His eyes had a twinkle in them and he knew he had this one, it was piece of cake.

Shaking her head lightly, Riza cleared her throat and pulled away from Mustang, stepping towards her date who hadn't removed his eyes from her the entire time. She wasn't complaining either, they _were_ nice eyes.

As she approached the table, his smile grew larger, causing her to blush.

"Hi." He said, his voice was deep and crisp.

"Hi."

She smiled and walked over to her side of the table, a little startled when he jumped up to pull her chair out for her.

"Thank you," she responded to his chivalry.

She heard Roy approach his table and begin making small talk with his date, but she didn't bother to look. If she wanted to win, she had to have all of her attention on the task at hand. She looked at the man before her and slowly realized that she knew absolutely nothing about him.

"So, I guess we should start this off by telling me your name." She said with a tiny laugh.

He smiled, "Of course, it's Aidan."

"Aidan? That's a nice name."

"Thank you, named after my pops." He said, taking a little sip of the wine. Riza normally detested alcohol, it made the morning after a shitty experience, but for this case she had decided to make an exception. She couldn't help but be nervous and with a guy who seemed half decent, it added to her stress.

She took a large gulp of wine and set it nicely down on the table.

"So, how do you know Lieutenant Havoc?" She glanced over to where the boys were sitting, all of them glancing away as her stare bore into them, pretending to be looking at the ceiling or ordering a meal. Are they really going to be here all night? She wondered.

"I was one of his family's favourite customers, over at their general store. They've always been a nice group of people, very easy going, so it was easy to become acquainted with them."

"Yeah, well that sounds like Havoc alright, very easy going, especially at his job." She took another sip of her wine. "What do you do for a living?"

"Well actually," a smile entered his face and Hawkeye couldn't help but get a little bit excited. She loved a man who loved his job. "I brought my work here with me, hoping you'd be a little interested."

"Oh?" She raised an eyebrow, not quite sure what to expect.

"Yes," he patted his large bag that lay under his seat, Hawkeye hadn't noticed it.

"The great thing about my job…" He muttered as he thrust the large black bag on top of the table, beginning to unzip it, "Is that I get to work every day with the people I love most."

Her mind raced as she tried to fit together who that might be and what was in his bag. She took another large sip of wine and snapped towards the waiter to bring her the entire bottle. She had a feeling she was going to need it.

"I want you to meet," He began, one hand inside the bag, "Otis Turpentine."

Otis Turpentine? What the hell…

He roughly pulled his hand out of the bag, producing with it a 3ft wooden dummy whose jaw hung loosely off its hinges. The dummy was wearing a black and white suit with a red bowtie covering the neck. Aidan smile widen as he sat Otis on his knee, inserting his hand into his back.

Hawkeye went through a varied amount of emotions at this point, stumbling around to find the right one.

She cleared her throat, trying to piece together this man and whether he was meant to be in a mental hospital.

"Okay, so you mean, your job is to be able to make this **fake,** wooden dummy talk right?" Please, please for all that is good and holy, let that be his job please don't let him think that-

"NO! Shhh, Otis will hear you, he's a very sensitive guy," he hissed at her, interrupting her thoughts. She watched as Aidan literally covered the dummies ears, giving her a death stare.

Oh…my…god.

Come ON.

Riza ran her hand through her hair, in an act of exhaustion. She was going to rip Havoc apart limb by limb. The way Aidan was touching Otis, Riza wondered if she would even take part in a sexual activity with this man or if he would rather just do it with the puppet instead.

She heard a hoard of laughing to the left of her and all four boys were on the floor, trying to catch their breath after watching Aidan touch his dummy in a very crude manner.

She looked at Havoc. _I'm going to kill you,_ she mouthed to him, moving her hand along her neck in a decapitated manner. He shuddered, knowing he was in for a beating.

Luckily, Aidan didn't notice as he was looking into the beady eyes of his friend Otis.

She needed to make this work. She needed to get him back to her place. She would take one for her own freaking team.

"How long have you and_ Otis_ known each other?" She asked him, innocently, giving him her big brown doe eyes.

He smiled at her, his teeth suddenly not as appealing to her as they had been ten minutes ago. He stroked Otis shoulder and answered her, leaning in close.

"About 5 years."

Riza nodded, pretending to be very interested as Aidan went off to talk about the first time he and Otis meant, in great detail. All the while, Riza continued to poor herself more and more…and more wine.

While Aidan was talking, she looked down at Otis who seemed to be staring directly into her soul, which was very VERY creepy. At one point during the conversation, Aidan reached up and began to pet Otis' head, as if to comb his hair back in a very affectionate way. Riza squirmed in her seat, uncomfortable with the whole situation that was unfolding in front of her like a car wreck and in her mind; she was plotting the funeral arrangements for Havoc.

I should have known that this was going to happen, they are always rooting for the Colonel to win.

"So, is Otis just going to be here for the entire night?" She asked innocently, trying to avoid eye contact with the wooden thing.

"Of course! I felt bad enough stuffing him into that tiny little bag." He said, removing the bag from the table and putting it back underneath the seat.

"Right." She took the wine bottle that the waiter has just placed on the table and poured it into her awaiting glass, taking a large swig.

* * *

Meanwhile, Roy was chatting away happily with the beautiful brunette named Ashley, whom Havoc had picked just for him. There really was no competition and he knew it. She was already swinging all over him, rubbing her hand up his thigh and whispering sweet nothings into his ear.

"Hmmm, you're gorgeous, you know that?" He muttered seductively to her, running his hands through her hair. She giggled and gave him a peck on the cheek. He grinned at her and began to lean in for the lip lock when he heard a chair scratch behind him. Riza had jumped out of her seat, taking her date and his ventriloquist dummy by the hands and stormed out of the restaurant in a rush.

Roy, confused, spun his head around to the boys who were staring at the restaurant door closing slowly.

Did she just…

"GO!" Screamed Breda suddenly, as him and Fuery jumped up from their seats, stumbling over each other in the booth just to follow the couple. They had to make sure she brought him back to her apartment as the deal stated.

Roy couldn't believe how fast she had done that. It angered him a little bit. He could have had Ashley back ten minutes ago but thought it would be too inconsiderate of him to show off yet there goes little miss blond sweeping that idiot off his feet in half an hour.

"Let's go back to my place, okay?" He said to Ashley, knowing that she didn't have the strength to say no. She nodded and giggled, standing up; her tight dress riding up so he could see her entire lower region.

Not that he was complaining, although she wasn't the classiest lady in the bunch.

She grabbed his hand and pulled him out the door.

"Hey Havoc, you got the bills right?" Roy called to out to his subordinate as he left the building.

"Aw shit."

* * *

It was bright and early the next morning, much to Riza's dismay. She had an extra special hangover today after finishing **two** bottles of wine just to get through the night. On the brighter side however, she HAD got him back to her apartment.

Walking into work that morning was hell. She could practically feel the bags under her eyes from lack of sleep and her clothes were basically backwards. She woke up late and didn't have any time to shower so her hair looked like a dirty hawks nest.

"Look who had appeared," came a booming voice as she walked into the small office. She growled at Mustang who was smirking at her.

"Not really in the mood, Colonel."

"Why not, Lieutenant? Had a rough night?" He snorted.

She smiled, walked over to where he was and leaned over to him, whispering "Oh, you have no idea."

The smirk dropped off his face rather quickly.

"Now, excuse me for a second, Colonel?" She spun around to face the other four subordinates, her gaze landing on Havoc.

He cowered back, towards the door of the office, backing away slowly. "Come on, Lieutenant. It was just a joke, I thought he was a really nice guy, stop coming towards me, I DON'T WANNA DIE."

"I'm going to have fun beating you to death, Second Lieutenant." She called to him as she began to chase him around the room.

"NOOOOOOO."

"STOP RUNNING!"

"NOT MY FACE, MY FACE PLEASE, OH GOD."

"OH JUST WAIT TILL I GET AHOLD OF YOU JEAN!"

They raced out into the hallway and Havoc let out a shrill scream.

"NO LIEUTENANT, PLEASE GET YOUR FOOT OUT OF THERE AHHHHHHH."

Hawkeye bounced back into the room, shutting the office door behind her, no Havoc in sight.

"Lieutenant, is Havoc okay?" Fuery asked quietly.

She shrugged. "Probably not but he deserved that one."

"Why are you so bitter, Lieutenant? You seemed to gather up that nice young man very quickly last night," asked Mustang, curiously. He couldn't help but wonder what had happened last night between them. He knew HE had a lovely time.

"I had a lovely time. It was very…hot."

Mustang's ears perked up. "Hot?"

"Mhm…and sweaty." She said, starting to fan herself.

Mustang gulped. "Can I speak to you in my office, Lieutenant?"

He closed the door behind him, spinning to look at Hawkeye.

"You had SEX with him?"

Riza's eyes widened at the bluntness. "Excuse me! Colonel Mustang-"

"Lieutenant, he had a PUPPET. He probably-"

Riza burst out into laughter, unable to control herself any longer. Her Colonel stopped midsentence, looking at her as if she was insane. She wiped the tears from her eyes and when she finally calmed down, clutching his desk for support.

"Sorry…Colonel…I just…didn't…I didn't sleep with him. I didn't," she muttered between breaths.

"Then why did you say all that stuff out there? About the hot and sweaty night that you had?"

She broke into another fit of giggles, gently sliding down to the floor and sitting in a pile of her own jitters.

"I threw up four times last night."

"You what?"

Her laugh was very contagious and as he caught onto her meaning of hot and sweaty, he began to laugh as well. He looked down at her on the floor. She looked like a disaster, but in a weird way, she had never looked more beautiful to him, very natural.

After they had both calmed down from laughing, she finally spoke up, leaning her head against the wall of his office.

"It was a really hot and sweaty night, just not in a good way. I just wanted to look cool in front of the guys. I apologize for misleading you, sir."

"No worries, Lieutenant, as long as you are alright."

She let out a sigh, rubbing her eyes as if it could calm her raging headache.

He slid down on the floor do join her, wanting to get as much information out of her as necessary.

"So what happened?"

"With the puppet guy?"

He nodded.

"Well, I brought him back to my apartment and offered him something to eat since we never actually HAD dinner. And then he asked if we could have threesome."

"You mean…you, him and the…"

"And Otis. The wooden puppet named Otis."

That brought on another fit of giggles from both of them. "Havoc definitely deserved that ass kicking you gave him them."

"Yes, he really did."

"Well, at least we both won."

She glanced over at him, a pang entering her stomach as she remembered he also went home with that bimbo last night. Suddenly, she realized how ridiculous she must look. A hung-over mess of a soldier. He must think the worst.

She stood up gently, careful not to make her headache even worse, and saluted him.

"Where are you going, Lieutenant?"

"Back to work sir. Sorry about this. I would appreciate if you didn't tell anybody about it. We can continue the deal tomorrow."

"Lieutenan-"

"Thank you sir."

And she marched off to finish the piling paperwork, leaving a stunned Colonel.

**A/N - Sorry this took so long. But YAY? It's shorter then I thought, but I NEEDED TO GET IT OUT. Nice date eh, there's more to come. I love some reviews so yay. **

**Thanks for reading! **


	4. The Bar

**A/N – Okay, so I finally have this out, sorry for making to such a long wait. I couldn't help but kill myself laughing as I was writing this, so I hope you guys enjoy it as well. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own shit son. No but really, nothing is mine. **

**Chapter 4 – The Bar.**

"Okay, okay, get this one. Ready? A dog, a cat, and a penis are sitting around a camp fire one night. The dog says, 'My life sucks, my master makes me do my business on a fire hydrant'. The cat says, 'I don't think so, my master makes me do my business in a box of cat litter.' The penis outraged, says "At least your master doesn't put a bag over your head and make you do push ups until you throw up!'"

The team groaned simultaneously as Havoc told them his dirty joke of the day. It was the same thing with him, always looking for new ways to destroy the wonderful workplace.

It had been a couple hours since Riza had left Roy's office, upset and confused. The constant need to upchuck all of the wine she consumed had now faded into a minimal headache. She was able to focus on her work more; all while ignoring the Colonel's dead stare.

He wanted to know what had upset her so quickly, first he was laughing along to the beautiful sound of her crisp voice and now she wouldn't look him in the eye. It must have been something he said.

"That was so stupid Havoc," Falman muttered, scratching the back of his head in utter dismay that his friend spews out dirty jokes like that. "Where do you even get this shit?"

"I'll never tell. Besides, it's still gold."

"Whatever. Get some new ones, these penis jokes are getting old man."

Havoc snorted and spun around in his chair to look at the Lieutenant who hadn't even bothered to comment on his crude joke. Usually, she would've let him have a piece of her mind and he knew today was not a good day, she was a little hung-over.

After she had beaten the crap out of him, he slowly crawled back into the office, bruised to the bone, especially on his backside. She knew just where to make it hurt and NOT in a good way.

"Lieutenant?"

She ignored him.

"Come on, you can't be mad at me forever."

No response.

"If it makes you feel better, Fuery gets to choose the next date. Look at his little face; he'd never be an asshole to you."

Havoc reached over to a startled Kain, grabbing his cheeks and squeezing which caused his glasses to pop off from their position and dangle off of his left ear.

"Cut it out Havoc!"

"Sorry man, I just can't keep my hands to myself when you're around." He teased Kain, who responded with an eye roll.

"It's true though, lieutenant, I am picking the date. I promise I don't have any tricks up my sleeve for you."

"Thank you, Sergeant."

Kain grinned at the fact that Hawkeye chose to answer him and not Havoc. Havoc wasn't having the smug look on Fuerys face so he smacked it off lightly with his left hand.

"Lieuteeennnaannntt," Havoc whined to her, moving his face so it was about ten inches away from her. Her eyes snapped up from her paperwork into his and she gave him an annoyed glare. He didn't budge and his lip began to tremble, falling into a little pout. She sat facing him, refusing to give in to his childish manner. They stared at each other and they would continue this way until one of them budged.

"Please?"

"No."

"But-"

"No."

"Just forgive-"

She let out a growl deep in her throat which caused him to take a large step back into his seat. Well, she won that staring contest at least which might be the only thing she ever does win. She turned to look past Havoc's head and saw that the Colonel was scowling at her and Havoc. He looked about ready to snap his little fingers and set the whole office on fire. She didn't like when he had that flash in his eyes, it reminded her of a man who had lost his small sense of humanity, like he didn't have any control, like Isvhal.

Breda spoke up, addressing the Lieutenant. "Do you mind if I ask what you said to the puppet guy last night? To get him back to your place?"

Hawkeye passed her view from those cold black eyes to Breda's light ones. "I don't think you need to know that."

He frowned, "Come on, Lieutenant."

"Okay, correction, I don't think you WANT to know."

"You heard the lady, Braidykins," Said the Colonel finally, the darkness in his eyes seemed to past and his humorous mood had begun again, calling Breda by his codename. "I'm sure Hawkeye has a few tricks up her sleeve she doesn't want to tell anyone about."

It went silent as all of the boys pondered what Hawkeye could've done to control Aidan and his puppet's minds.

"You're a witch aren't you?"

"No."

"A Vampire?"

"What? No!"

"God?"

"Yes Havoc, I'm God."

"I knew it."

She rolled her eyes at the stupidity forming among the group. In reality, the truth was boring opposed to their scenarios. All she had done was made some sweet talk with Aidan and then very forcefully flirted with the puppet. Once Aidan saw her accepting the fact that Otis was 'real' it was a piece of cake. She asked him back to hers so she could make him dinner there instead and he accepted. That's it.

"Oh will you boys just drop it. I got him there, didn't I? Nobody ever said we had to talk about HOW we did it. All that matters is that we are tied, right?"

They all nodded.

"Good." She began to return to her task at hand. It was a comfortable silence for a few seconds until Havoc opened his big mouth.

"GUYS WAIT, I KNOW ANOTHER JOKE."

A groan emerged from each other employees as Havoc began his tale of another dirty genital joke.

* * *

"Havoc," Whispered Hawkeye, as the long day rolled to a close and they were the last two people out of the door.

She pulled him behind the hallway corner and lowly said, "You owe me one."

He already knew where this was going.

"Oh god, what Lieutenant, what do you want from me? WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO MAKE ME DO?!"

"Keep your voice down, the Colonel can still be around here," She shook her head from left to right to see if she could spot the raven haired man wandering about. He should be heading home now, but she didn't want to risk him hearing. Havoc's shoulders slumped as he realized nobody was around which meant no witnesses for whatever Hawkeye was going to make him do.

"We need to be fair and square which means I need your help to get me a little further in this bet."

Havoc gulped. "Okay, want to give me a little bit more information here?"

Hawkeye grinned and Havoc's heart dropped. He hated that smirk, it only led to mischief.

"Let's just say, it's going to involve a dress."

Havoc almost burst into tears.

* * *

They had all agreed to meet a local bar for the second date. Riza dressed herself down tonight, especially since her outfit from the other night would stick out like a sore thumb at a place like this. This was considered their local hangout, whenever they had days off or needed a place to relax, it was always here.

She gathered the four boys into the hallway to have a brief discussion with them. They were all in on the plan that she had spewed at Havoc, which made them all burst into a fit of giggles…except Havoc. He definitely had the unfair part of this deal, to say the least.

She made them promise to stay out of sight for the duration of the night or else they would ruin it all. The Colonel had arrived ten minutes after she told them the plan, sitting at an uncomfortable bar stool. Riza saw he arrived, gave one last glance at the boys and shuffled out into the bar.

"Hello Colonel." She said as she approached him.

"Good evening, Lieutenant." His eyes roamed her up and down, causing a slight blush to grow on her cheeks and he smiled at her. He couldn't help but admit that he liked making her blush. "Where are the others tonight?"

Shit, think of something Riza, come on. "I told them to leave us alone tonight. It was quite distracting having them looking over my shoulder and even more distracting having them laugh at me. If my date turns out to be another weirdo, I rather deal with it alone."

He gave her a smirk, his eyes dancing into hers. "Hmmm, so you told them you wanted to be alone with me tonight?"

"Don't flatter yourself sir. It doesn't suit you. And don't put words into my mouth."

Roy huffed and turned towards the bar, ordering a whiskey and downing it in one single gulp. He turned to look at her, the smell of alcohol already forming around the air when she took a deep breath.

"Would you like a drink, Lieutenant?"

She raised an eyebrow at him. "You're joking right?"

He raised his hands in surrender, "Just asking."

Her hangover had JUST disappeared and she definitely had no intention of bringing it back, no matter how weird her date turned out to be tonight. Kain picked tonight and as far as she knew, he wouldn't dare try anything against her. He'd be too scared of what she'd do to him.

"Let me ask you a serious question Hawkeye." The mood of the bar slowly deepening.

"Yes, sir?"

"Why are you doing this?"

He looked right at her, getting right to the point, speaking exactly what was filling his mind. He wanted to know what she gained from doing all of this.

"The bet?"

He nodded swiftly, "Are you lonely?"

She grimly sat down on the bar stool next to his, never taking her eyes off his. The conversation took an unexpected turn and she didn't know how to respond to him. She wanted so badly to lie and tell him off. She wanted to put him in his place. But the way he was looking at her, with his eyes so full of unanswered questions about his Lieutenant, the black depths seeking hers finally made her cave in and for the first time in a long time, she let him in.

"Yes."

He was startled at her response, thinking she wouldn't bother answering. She always put her wall up whenever things got to personal. That's the way it's been since she became his bodyguard. To think of it, she hadn't told him a single personal detail about herself since they were teenagers.

Nervously clawing at the bottom of her shirt, she prepared herself for the round of questions the Colonel was going to fire at her. She was open now and he had to take advantage of this situation, she knew that.

"Why not find somebody?"

"I'm a little busy sir. Unlike you, I have a problem with finding someone and having no connection with that other person. I don't want a one night stand to fill in whatever kind of loneliness I may be feeling. I don't want to drown my sorrows in boobs, like others would."

"Ouch."

"I doubt I scraped your ego even a little bit sir."

He ran a hand through his raven coloured hair and took another swig of whiskey. "I'm not a monster, Riza." Her name sounded foreign on his lips. "Please don't make me out to be."

She laughed quietly. "I wouldn't devote my life to a monster sir."

"Did devoting your life to me ruin any chance of you getting married then? Am I to blame for this?" He said, smirking as if it was a joke. As if he really wasn't the reason.

"Of course not sir," she muttered, forcing a small smile to graze her lips. He must have noticed something as off because his smile vanished and a look of concern clouded his eyes.

"Lieutenant? Did I ruin your life?"

Hey brown eyes snapped up, confusion entered her mind and she clasped the table, it was all she could do from falling off her chair. He was using a very serious tone. He truly wanted to know. The question made her a little furious at him for asking such a ridiculous question.

"What?!"

"Because you're following me, because you're my body guard, because of me. Did I do this to you? Did I cause your loneliness?"

"It doesn't matter sir." She replied with the only thing she could think of. "I chose this path and it was my decision to do the things I have… I chose it for yo-"

She cut herself off before she admitted more than she liked. Roy kept his eyes centered to the bottom of his now empty glass. An overwhelming amount of guilt flowed through him.

Why didn't I see this before? I've hurt her again. I've _been _hurting her all this time, I just never saw it, he thought.

The bar's door made a soft creaking noise as it was opened and what was assumed to be the two dates waltzed in. Despite the conversation that had been going on, Riza felt the sudden urgency to win this bet, just to prove that she could have a life outside the office and that it was NOT his fault. Not in the slightest.

"Sir, let's pretend this never happened. Let's just go on with the bet. As planned. Okay?"

He let out a sigh but fiercely nodded. It would be hard to forget.

"And sir?" She muttered, getting off her stool to go and collect her date.

"Yes?"

"Take it easy on the whiskey. You're starting to smell like brewing factory."

She walked over to the bulky man that Fuery had chosen. Good looking, maybe a few pounds overweight, but she could work with it. He had brown hair that was cut short and he was wearing a suit that was way too fancy for the bar. As she walked towards him, she passed Mustang's date as well.

She made eye contact with her and almost couldn't contain herself from bursting out laughing.

Yes. It was Havoc.

She had made him promise to do this one thing for her. Sure, it was cheating, but they didn't mind doing it to her. It was time to get a taste of their own medicine.

He wore Riza's long dress pants with a stuffed bra and a flannel shirt stuck into the bottoms. His long, expensive red wig hung gently just below his shoulders. They also went to get his makeup done professionally. They REALLY needed to sell this.

And boy did they do GOOD. If Riza didn't know better, she would've thought Havoc was a woman.

Now hopefully the Colonel wasn't too smart. Should she feel bad? Probably, however, now more than ever, she really wanted to win this thing. If Havoc stayed true to his word, he wouldn't let Mustang take him home. If she was being honest, she really did need the help. He could have all the woman and just a little push towards her luck would help in the long run.

"I hate you so much, my beautiful freakish Lieutenant." Havoc muttered to her as he stormed on past her towards his…or her awaiting date. She chuckled behind her hand, trying to compose herself. This was just golden. He was talking in a high pitch voice that made Hawkeye want to burst into tears from laughing so hard.

She calmed down when she approached the man who had sat down at a nearby table, looking over the menu.

"Hello there." She said with a smile. He looked up in awe at the beautiful yellow haired goddess in front of him.

"Well hello there." He picked up her hand and kissed it gently, his lips grazing her skin. She blushed and sat down across from him.

"My name's Troy."

"Nice to meet you Troy, I'm Riza."

"Of course, everyone knows you! You're Colonel Mustang's hawk!"

She laughed. "Is that what I'm known for? Being his hawk?"

"No offense meant or anything, it's just you're kind of famous."

"Hmmm. Well, thanks, I think?"

And just like that, they launched into a conversation, completely avoiding anything that was happening at the other end of the bar.

"Well hello there beautiful," Roy managed to squeak out as he saw the woman, who he assumed to be his date, walk towards him. Pushing down any thoughts of the conversation he had with Riza, he got up to help the lady into her seat, giving her a sort of weird back rub as she sat down.

Havoc almost burst into tears. This should not be happening to him. HE WAS A GOOD PERSON.

"So what's your name, darling?"

"Kendra," Havoc said, in the highest of high voices.

What an interesting voice, thought Roy. Maybe she has a throat disease and doesn't like to talk about it.

That definitely wouldn't stop Roy from getting her home tonight.

"So Kendra, what do you do?"

"I'm a…Make-up artist. I do…make-up."

"Hmmm, yes, that's very…sexy." Roy said and he reached over the table to flick some of her red hair out of her face. Havoc tensed at his Colonel's hands coming closer to him and barely took time to take a breath.

Havoc knew he was never going to be able to look at Mustang again.

About ten minutes into the awkward conversation (on Havoc's part) Roy decided to get some dinner going.

"So, shall we order?" Roy asked and Havoc nodded silently. Roy, trying to put on the moves, scooted his chair closer to Kendra's so they could both share the menu and so Roy could cop a feel.

"What do you feel like ordering, babe?" Roy asked as his left hand skimmed the top of Havoc's pants, travelling upwards.

Oh no. Please no. NO. Anything but this, Havoc thought as he squeezed his eyes shut, feeling his Colonel's hand getting closer and closer to his-

And there it was.

Mustang's hand had made it to the full crotch region of Havoc, who was trying not to scream out in horror. Roy's face dropped into the face of death as he cupped the large bulge underneath this 'woman's' pants.

"…Colonel?" Havoc asked breathlessly, wishing the pain in his groin would go away, yet Roy had been so startled that he had yet to drop his hand.

"HAVOC?!"

* * *

**A/N – That's all for now folks, Hope you enjoyed It as much as I enjoyed writing this little bit. Leave me love and I'll love you right back.**


	5. The Perfect Timing

**A/N – Hey guys, I'm sorry this took so long but University is slowly going to kill me. This is not the best chapter I've ever written, but I needed to give you guys something.**

**I WILL WARN YOU NOW SO LISTEN HERE, THIS IS NOW GOING TO CHANGE TO M. THIS PART HAS A LEMONY FILLED GOODNESS THRUST INTO IT.**

**LEMONS AHEAD**

**LEMONS AHEAD**

**LEMONS AHEAD.**

**FAIR WARNING, SO NOBODY HURT ME.**

**Disclaimer – I own nothing except for a lemon. **

**Chapter 5 - The Perfect Timing**

"Please…sir…keep it down…Hawkeye-" Havoc struggled to get the words out as the Colonel get his hands tightly on his junk, still too surprised to let his poor jewels go.

"HAVOC?!" He said again, rather loudly. Havoc could only pray that Hawkeye didn't hear.

"Sir…can you please..remove your hands from my…" He pointed downwards, his facial features contorting into a painful one.

"EEEEUCK!" Roy muttered and as fast as we could, whipped his hand away from Havoc, wiping it the table cloth, his jaw still dropped.

"What the FUCK Havoc? What are you doing here?"

"Well…you see…"

"WHAT?"

"Please, keep it down. Hawkeye will have my head!"

Roy raised an eyebrow, looking past the ridiculous red wig that was on top of his subordinates head and glaring at the Lieutenant who seemed to be enjoying the date she was having.

"I owed her one! She really wanted to win this, she deserved it!"

"And I don't?"

Havoc sighed. "Sir, you are a professional at this. This is what you DO. But Hawkeye, I mean…she doesn't have any time to learn how to do this stuff herself. She's looking after you or the following you or-"

Roy put up a hand to silence his Lieutenant, showing that he got the point.

"Just let her have this one sir."

Roy sighed and rubbed his eyes. After a few seconds of silence, he returned to his upright position, looking Havoc straight in the eye and said, "I can't believe she got you to dress like that."

"NOT COOL COLONEL, THIS WAS NOT MY IDEA!"

"I thought you said to keep your voice down, we wouldn't want her to hear."

Havoc smiled. "So, you're gonna do this for her?"

Roy whispered softly, glancing at his Hawk, "I'd do anything for her." Havoc said nothing, but watched the Colonel's expression turn very soft. Something he didn't see very often.

"Now," said Roy, "We are going to have to make this a good one. It's going to be the first time I'm going to get rejected. I know you're used to the feeling, so want to give me some pointers?"

"Oh you're so funny sir. Ha ha haaa. Don't worry, I got this one. Just go on with the date as if nothing happened."

Roy knew this would only end badly, but he agreed, for Hawkeye's sake.

"So, Kendra was it?" Roy asked, going back to his menu. "What would you like to ea-"

"HOW DARE YOU SIR, INSINUATE SUCH A THING. I AM A LADY. I HAVE A CLASS. I WOULD ASK YOU TO KINDLY REMOVE YOUR HAND FROM MY PINK TACO."

Pink…Taco? Oh my god.

"MY BEARDED CLAM IS FOR MEN WHO APPRECIATE ME!"

"Havoc..." Roy warned in his tone. "Take it down a notch with the vagina references…."

"YOU AIN'T WALKING THROUGH MY SALOON DOORS TONIGHT!"

Roy smacked his own head against the table, trying to drown out the loud ramblings of Havoc. Riza had now caught interest in what was happening at the other end of the table and couldn't help when a smile landed on her face.

Havoc was really going for it, wasn't he?

Havoc dramatically stood up, flipping his bright red hair to the side. He hitched out his left hip in a diva way and had way to much sass for one person to handle.

"I'm sorry, wait, please stay, I was just so into you!" Roy cried.

Havoc snapped his fingers in front of Roy's face, "You're a pig Mustang, grabbing me all over. I hope I never have to see you again!" And Havoc threw the very expensive red wine he had ordered into Roy's now surprised face, the blood red liquid now seeping into his shirt, a stain that definitely didn't have a chance of coming out. He was going to murder Havoc very slowly and very painfully.

And with that, Kendra walked out that door, hips moving in a round motion, giving one last dramatic look at Mustang and then slammed the door behind her…or him.

Mustang tried his best to look defeated. In a way, he was. He HAD just grabbed Havoc's balls and that was something that would haunt him for the rest of his miserable life. He looked up at Riza who was trying so very hard to hide the small smile that had graced her full lips. He shrugged at her, as if he didn't know why Havoc got up and left. He grabbed the napkin on the table and began to lightly dab at the stains.

"You're making it worse." Riza said as she made her way over t the Colonel.

Roy looked up at her and saw she was trying to hold back her laughter. "Go ahead and laugh, Lieutenant. I don't get wine in the face very often. This may be the only time you witness it."

She rolled her eyes, "Right sir. Well, I just came over here to make sure you were okay."

"I'm good." He said, dabbing at the wine again.

"Okay. Well, I'm out of here."

Roy's head snapped up and he looked at the table from where she had come from. Her oversized date was putting on his dumb expensive jacket and paying for the dinner bill.

How the hell does she do that so fast? He was underestimating her. Havoc lied, she really doesn't need any help.

"You're taking him home then?"

"Yes sir. I do believe that makes it 2 to 1."

Roy smirked, "For now, Lieutenant."

She smiled back at him and gently touched his shoulder, looking into his dark eyes.

"Get home safe." She said, simply. She gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze and then released it, walking back over to join her date. They left a few seconds later, leaving Roy alone in an empty bar, with his queen now gone from view.

* * *

"This was a really fun night." Troy said to her as they walked towards her apartment. It _was_ fun, she thought. He was really nice and exciting. She didn't expect a date like him at all. So she didn't shy away from him when he took her hand and walked her down the long dark street. It was a weird kind of comfort, seeing as she didn't really know this man all too well.

"Yes, it was." She replied, squeezing his large hand and smiling up at him. They arrived shortly after at her small apartment where Troy waited politely outside her door.

"Would you like to come in?" She asked him very sweetly. He grinned and nodded, waltzing by her and into the apartment. She took a deep breath, not knowing what was truly going to happen. It was nice to have the company of a man who didn't try to get killed every five seconds. She didn't have to look after Troy. That's wasn't her job.

"Make yourself at home. I'll put on some tea." He nodded and walked over to the couch, taking a seat and looking around at all of her home decorations.

"Is green tea okay?"

"That's perfect, thanks."

After five minutes of a comfortable silence, Riza appeared with two mugs filled with steaming hot tea. She handed one off too Troy and set hers down on the table, overtop a coaster. They sat on the couch, looking at each other, letting the tea cool down before it burned either one of them.

She smiled gently and he smiled right back.

And then he leaned closer to her and she exactly what he had meant to do.

So she let him.

His large lips lightly brushed against hers, a feeling of warmth entered into her belly and she found it to be very nice thing.

Not passionate, not heated.

It was just nice.

He pondered over her lips for a few more seconds before finally releasing them and leaning back into the couch. He didn't push her to go any further, it was her choice.

And he could tell she didn't know what she truly wanted anyways.

"That was nice." She muttered, a blush entering her cheeks because of the attention. She hated when it was all on her. She sipped on her tea, avoiding his gaze.

"Riza?"

"Mhm."

"I know your head isn't in this right now. I can feel it."

She finally looked up at him, setting her tea down again. "Sorry. I got into a sort of disagreement with the Colonel before you arrived and he just…drives me crazy sometimes."

"With the Colonel, huh?"

She nodded, wondering what he meant by that.

He smiled at her. "Listen, I'm going to get out of here. But if you're ever lonely or bored, just call for me okay?"

"You don't have to go!" She whined to him. "You haven't had your tea!"

"I'll get it next time, okay? I'll see you around."

And she wasn't prepared for what happened next. He grabbed her cheeks roughly and pulled her face towards his, kissing her deeply. It was filled with longing on his part. He had heard stories about the Hawkeyed Lieutenant and the Flame Alchemist Colonel. Rumours were a big part of the small town. Troy had been a fan of Riza's for a very long time, ever since the Ishval war, so when his cousin Kain asked him to go on a blind date with her, he couldn't resist the beautiful goddess.

So now, as his tongue teased hers and his fingers roamed down her body curves, it slowly dawned on him that he would never be what the Colonel was to her. It was hopeless to fan boy over somebody he could never have.

"Goodbye." He whispered as he let her go, walking out her front door and shutting it softly behind him.

She stood there stunned. His tongue tasted like peppermint, just like the gum the Colonel always chews, her lips now burning from the familiar intoxicating smell.

And then, Riza Hawkeye began to feel something he hadn't felt in a very VERY long time.

She felt horny.

Black Hayte slept in his bed, calm and quiet. Riza had sat on her couch for ten minutes after Troy left, trying to think of a way she could deal with this newfound problem. It's never just HIT her like that, the need to have a release.

And then Riza's mind began to spin and she knew what she needed to do.

She slowly laid herself on top her blankets, breathing very deeply. She'd never done this before. She's never needed to and so this new experience was quiet foreign to her. She was just going with what her body was telling her to do.

She slowly placed two fingers onto her underwear, moving them gradually over her pale legs until the landed lightly on the floor. She lay naked from the bottom down; the white t-shirt she had changed into now created the outline of her swollen nipples.

She ran a hand across her own breasts, feelings this new sensation bubbling up as she pinched them lightly. The feathered touch of her hands caused a light shiver to escape from her body.

"Mmmm," a gentle moan escaped from her as her fingers left her breasts and began to smooth their way down her flat stomach, stopping just before they reached her core. Taking another deep breath, her right hand move down towards her swollen clit and her left hand took its position on her breast once again.

She slowly began to move her right hand in a circular motion, trying to get as much friction as she could. It felt so damn good. She began to rub harder, placing her middle finger on the top of her opening. Her legs spreading open to let herself have more room.

"Ung." She said in a muffled moan, her fingers now accustomed to her body movement, her hips now thrusting upwards as she entered one single finger into her hot core, pumping in and out. She was thrashing around now, her moans started to become uncontrollable as she pinched her clit and moved her finger in and out. The blankets had become wrinkled underneath her and she grasped the sheets with her left hand, her knuckles turning white as she clutched on for dear life. Her whole palm became of use now as she rubbed her swollen opening; She was feeling so good and she didn't know why she had never done this before.

Her legs began to move off the ground, slowly working their way up as her fingers worked faster and her moans grew louder with anticipation. Her head lashed back onto her pillow and her eyes rolled into her head from ecstasy.

"Mmh R-Roy." She heard herself murmur, without realizing who it was she was saying. But in the moment, that was all she could see, all she could feel. It was as if her Colonel was making her feel these things.

"Mhm, don't..stop…" She moaned again, as she hit her sensitive spots over and over again, shivering each time she did. She knew it wasn't long until she would cum. She saw Roy's face leaning over her, his rough hands touching her, his smell of peppermint embracing her. Her breath began to hitch and the tension in her was just about ready to spill over, getting ready to let give her release-

And right then and there…her doorbell rang.

Riza sprung up, her hand whipping away from her body. She jumped off the bed, half in a dive to get a new set of underwear and throw them on. Forgetting about pants, she threw on a robe that was hanging over her chair and quickly wrapped it around her to cover any indecent parts of her body that may have still been showing. Not bothering to fix her now messy bed hair, she quickly composed herself and made her way to the door. Clearing her throat and giving herself another decent look, she opened the door.

Of course it was him.

He always had the worst timing.

* * *

**A/N – That's all I got for you guys. But come on, that was hot right. Kinky Hawkeye. And of course, Mr Colonel has to ruin all of Hawkeye's fun.**

**I love Reviews, so pop one in and I'll love 5ever. **


	6. The Hallway

**A/N – YAY, okay, I finally got this up! BE WARNED , THERE IS A SORT OF LEMONY BUT NOT SO LEMONY MORE OF A LIMEY THING GOING ON IN THIS CHAPTER.**

**ALSO, ROY AND RIZA OK. Enjoy loves. : )**

**Discalimer: Nothing is mine except for the granola bar I'm eating right now. **

**Chapter 6 – The Hallway.**

"Colonel?" Riza said, her breath still trying to catch up to the rest of her body. She could feel that her face was flushed, with her cheeks red and sweat glistening lightly on her pale forehead. She needed to compose herself as quickly as possible without the Colonel jumping to any wrong conclusions.

Yet as soon as the door was opened for him, the Colonel could see that his Lieutenant was up to something just seconds before he had arrived. Her face was glowing, her hair was messy and her robe barely covered the nude body that was unraveling slowly before him. His eyes roamed up and down her appearance, his body reacting to the vision of hers and a slight bulge began to hitch in his pants.

His eyes went from the bottom up, to her smooth feet, up her toned and pure legs, cursing the robe for covering the delightful middle part of her, which led him to rely purely on his own imagination. His eyes now travelled even more upwards, to the smooth crease of her neck, sweat dripping down from it lightly.

And lastly, her face.

The face he had grown so used too after so many years had become somewhat of a stranger to him in this very moment. She looked so beautiful, as if she was something from a dream. He had never imagined he would see her in this light before. She's always been beautiful to him, but she was radiant. _She didn't look like this at the bar, _he thought.

Without realizing, the bulge in his pants had grown larger. The view of a half naked Hawkeye had almost been too much to handle. He moved his legs to cover it and coughed lightly, trying to make the situation less uncomfortable.

"Am I interrupting something?" He said, politely to her, trying to distract himself and quite curious on what was going on. Just what HAD he walked into? Was her date here?

"N-No sir. I was just…reading."

He raised a dark eyebrow at her recent appearance. "Reading?" He asked accusingly.

Hawkeye ran a hang through her yellow hair, trying to smooth out the tangles quickly without arousing anymore suspicion from him. She could tell he didn't believe her.

"Yes, sir."

"You don't have to lie to me Hawkeye. If he's in here, I can just go. I wouldn't want to bother you."

Hawkeye watched in shock as the Colonel began to slowly retreat from her apartment door, his back slouched a tiny bit in a defeated stance, his hand running through his black hair as he walked towards the elevator doors.

"Colonel! Wait! No, nobody is in here! Please…come back in!" She called after him, walking out into the long hallway to chase after him before he got too far. Her apartment door closing behind her and with a hard click, she heard the lock on her door close.

Which meant only one thing…bad news.

Kain had decided to put his brains to the test and use Hawkeye as a guinea pig for one of his security experiments. She agreed, not being able to say no to the young man who was so excited about it.

He had installed an automatic locking system which meant EVERYTIME she left her freaking house, the lock slammed down behind her. It was really quite annoying, especially if you didn't have the keys, such as the situation at hand.

"Shit," she muttered to herself, banging softly on the door as if it would be of help. She tried the knob, wiggling it with no success. Well this sucked.

She looked back down the hallway to where the Colonel now stood. He had stopped walking at the sound of her frustrated sigh.

"What happened?"

"I got locked out."

His lips shot into a small grin, without meaning too.

A half naked Hawkeye in the middle of the hallway.

Brilliant.

He walked over to her, smile and all and tried to open the door the same way she had.

"Why does your door lock automatically?" He asked her, unsuccessfully opening it. "I'm sure you are perfectly capable of taking on a burglar if that was your concern."

"It wasn't my idea! Fuery thought it would be a fun idea to try out."

Mustang snorted. "Yeah, this is fun." He tried the knob again, twisting it furiously.

"Okay, sir, you don't have to break down my door."

He looked up at her and smiled again, pointing to her outfit. "Sorry, I just didn't think you'd want to stay out here dressed like that for too long."

As if remembering the present situation she had left herself in, she looked down at her outfit and gasped. She pulled the bottom of the robe down as if to cover herself a tiny bit more. The Colonel's eyes were on her body again and this time, she caught him staring.

"Colonel, focus." She said, as she snapped her fingers in front of his face. He, dazed, cleared his throat and nodded.

"Right, uh, isn't your date in there? Can't he open the door for us?"

She rolled her eyes. "Sir, I already told you, nobody was with me."

"So why did you look all…you know…uh…like that." He struggled to find the right words that wouldn't offend her too much. He already knew she was sensitive when it came to her personal life.

"N-nothing sir. Please drop it."

Their eyes met and Hawkeye knew that his curiosity wouldn't go unsettled. He never gave up on things if he wanted the answers.

"Drop it."

"Tell meeee."

"Sir, you are being childish."

"Pleaaaaaase"

"No."

With no successfully aid from Riza, Mustang began to put the pieces of the situation together.

_Okay so, she's alone in the apartment, her hair was a disaster, her face pink, her breath hitched and she was obviously naked. What could it be?_

And then, it hit him.

"Lieutenant, were you…slapping Susie?"

"Was I what?!"

"You know, tickling the kitty?"

"Tickling the kitty?"

"Walking downtown?"

"Oh my god."

"Tapping the tuna?"

"Sir."

"Polishing the pear?"

"Why me."

"Flicking the bean?"

"Sir, I'll pay you to stop talking."

His grin was huge as he realized she didn't deny any of it. "Was I right?"

She rolled her eyes, running a hand over her rough hair. "I don't see how anything I do is any concern of your sir." She refused to meet his eyes for fear of death by embarrassment; she didn't want to see the look in his eyes as he realized what she was doing.

"Come on Lieutenant, don't be ashamed. It's a part of human life." He stood closer to her now, trying to meet her eyes.

"Sir, I will not hesitate to shoot you if necessary."

"Oh yeah, with what guns? Aren't they in your apartment?"

She smirked and got the courage up to look him in the face. "Do you really think I don't keep a gun on me at all times?"

His eyes looked up and down her body again. "Where are you hiding it…?"

"Do you really want to know, sir?"

That shut him up.

"I would appreciate sir, if you would just keep this little incident tonight to yourself."

"Which incident? You touching yourself or the door locking us out?"

"SIR!"

He giggled uncontrollably now, holding onto the door for support. "I just can't believe my neat and conservative little Hawkeye likes to get down and dirty with herself."

"Ugh, I hate you sir."

Suddenly getting serious, he bent so his face was directly in front of hers; the smell of heat radiating off of her body, "was it good?" his voice asked, low and husky. She couldn't get the words 'fuck off' out to him as she was captivated by the look he was giving. There was that damn peppermint smell again; he must have been chewing it before he arrived.

"Tell me, Lieutenant, was it?"

She licked her lips and nodded fiercely, unable to lie to him. She was under his trance and she had no control. She hated the feeling of losing. She whimpered a bit as he came closer to her, his breath warm against her cheek and there it was again, the now all too familiar dampness between her legs.

Her back was now pressed up against her wooden door, Mustang hovering over her, his hands on either side of her waist, pushing against the door to support himself up. A low growl escaped his throat as he put his right hand on the top of her left thigh.

Feeling the smooth upper thigh was like a dream for him. She hissed in a deep breath as his hand began to rub tiny circles on her muscular leg. Their eyes continued to be locked together, neither one of them daring to look away, brown on black.

His fingers moved up slowly, fiddling with the bottom of her robe and she felt she might faint if he worked his way up any higher. This was going to end badly, but she couldn't help give in to him. His forehead slightly lent against hers now, eyes still open and hearts still racing.

His fingers trailed underneath the robe now, to the upper most part of her thigh, which proceeded to get a low moan from Hawkeye. He smirked at the effect he was having on her. His fingers massaged gently, leaving a trail of his fingerprints whenever he moved.

He went higher up again, taking it in stages. His fingers flexed as he painted his fingers along her inner thigh, getting closer to his supposed destination. Hawkeye was trying not to squeal at what the Colonel was about to do. He was driving her mad with desire.

His eyes searched hers, for permission or acceptance, he wasn't too sure. But the way her lips were gasped open in a slight awe, the lust in her eyes, the movement of her body against him, that was enough for him.

So he slightly moved his fingers up, finally reaching the hot core of her that he so desperately wanted to ravage. He ran a finger down her opening.

"Ohmygod." She whimpered to him, her hand trailing up to the back of his neck to hold herself up. "Sir, I don't think-"

His hand came to a complete stop. "You're right," he muttered, his head still so close to her own. "I should have the decency to kiss you first."

He kept his hand between her legs, which she didn't mind. She left her hand at the back of his head and his left hand came up to stroke her cheek lightly, leaning in to take her lips in his. She licked her lips, not really believing what was happening. He bend down, his mouth so hot and ready, close to hers and –

BOOM.

The door that Hawkeye was securely leaning on had bust open, leaving her sprawled on the cold floor of her tiny apartment with Roy landing roughly on top of her. The lock had stopped working the way it was supposed to and the pressure of Hawkeye and Mustang on the door was too much for it to handle. Hayate's bark roared through the house at what he assumed were intruders. He gave up thirty seconds into the barking as she realized it was his master.

As if the brutal landing on the floor finally knocked some sense into Hawkeye, she pushed Roy off of her, pulled down her robe and tried to calm her erratic breathing.

"That can NEVER happen again, sir."

He casually glanced at her, giving a curt nod, obviously very disappointed in the situation at hand. "I know Lieutenant. I know."

The disappointment wasn't one sided. She wanted it just as bad as he did, maybe even more. But she knew how he was. She knew the laws. She knew all the things that made her question her feelings. Yet somehow, she still couldn't STOP the feelings. It was a painful game she was thrust into playing.

"You had just come at a really bad time sir and I was very vulnerable."

"You're never vulnerable, Hawkeye. But I get it, alright? This never happened nor will it ever again. Sorry."

"Why are you apologizing?"

He looked up at her. "I'm apologizing because it's my fault. I shouldn't have let things get out of hand like that. I am the commanding officer and I should know better."

Riza huffed. "This isn't a one sided thing, Colonel. I don't just bow to your every whim like most girls do. You were under my spell just as much. I made you just as vulnerable."

"Lieute-"

"I think you need to go, Colonel. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Riza, come on!" He knew as soon as he left, this moment would be over. Nothing would ever come as close to what he almost had with her.

"Goodbye sir." She muttered as she hauled him out into the hallway, closing the door behind him and locking it manually. She ran a hand through her hair, slowly matching her back with the wall and sliding down it gently until she landed with a thud on the floor. Her head was in her knees and she just simply sat there for a few hours, nothing giving her more comfort than the sound of silence.

**A/N – Hhehehe, do you want to kill me or love me? Let me know if I should hide. **

**Come on DAT WAS HAWT. Until the door broke down. I'LL EXPLAIN THE DOOR IN THE NEXT CHAPTER, PROMISE THERE IS MORE TO IT. Let me know what you guys think and yay. Okay. **


	7. The Camouflage

**A/N – THIS IS SHORT AND A STUPID CHAPTER, BUT HAVE IT ANYWAYS. NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE FUNNY AND BETTER OK, I PROMISE.**

**ALSO, PROPS TO MY TUMBLR FRIENDS FOR ALL GANGING UP AND THREATENING ME INTO PUTTING THE ROY BURNED HIS DICK MASTURBATING. SO, IF IT SEEMS A BIT WEIRD, IT'S BECAUSE IT'S A TUMBLR THING. **

**Disclaimer: Nothing is owned, leave me alone.**

**Chapter 7 – The Camouflage. **

The next morning rolled around all too soon, after yet another sleepless night in Hawkeye's household. Knowing that facing the Colonel was going to be very tough after last night's…incident, Riza rolled out of her comfy bed and headed straight for the warmth of her shower.

It was the perfect place to just think, without any interruptions from Black Hayate.

As a soldier, she was trained to look at everything through the eyes of a sniper, dissecting every last second of every situation she was in. So she couldn't help but rewind her memory through everything Roy said and did (or tried to do) last night.

A blush rose to her cheeks as she remembered what she had been doing before he arrived, if it wasn't for the stupid smell of peppermint, she wouldn't be in this damn mess.

And then the touching.

Roy had been so close finishing what she had started and in that moment, nothing else had mattered but that.

_But why did he want to kiss me first? _She thought. _Why would a simple kiss matter to a man like him? _Riza didn't bother denying to herself how badly she wanted to taste him; she held the moment in her hands and watched it slowly slip away from her grasp.

She knew he didn't like her. She knew he had only made a move because of the situation she had put herself in_. It could've been any girl and it would have gone the same way_. _Roy would jump on anything if it meant getting in its pants. _

So she was happy the door broke. She didn't want to be liable for heartbreak by the man she loved and trusted the most. She always knew she wasn't the most important thing to him and she had always learned to deal with it.

She didn't want regrets and that was surely to be one of them.

So she would plaster a smile on her face, wear her uptight uniform with her uptight hair and push whatever feelings she may have had in that moment waaaaaay down.

That's just the way it had to be.

And plus, she had a bet to win.

* * *

"What...what...happened," Mustang muttered to himself repeatedly when he arrived at work the next morning. He was sitting in his chair with his head in his hands, leaning softly against the desk to hold himself up. His thoughts also played back the events prior to the morning.

His Hawkeye, she just looked so…perfect. He couldn't help himself. He wanted her to the point where it made his groin ache. The vision he had of Hawkeye touching herself made him go for a round on himself, something he hadn't done by done in a very long time. There was always someone else to do it for him. He never denied that he was sexual being, most rumors were true, but for all that is good in the world; it was never as glorious as it felt last night.

He almost burned off his own Johnson with his flame alchemy.

And now, he wouldn't be able to look her in the eye. He almost touched her…there…and she was probably repulsed by the idea of a man like him going anywhere near her. He could only imagine what was going inside her head.

And then he had wanted to kiss her so badly.

These overwhelming surge of emotions hit Roy hard and he felt very very confused. She was his Lieutenant, she was his Hawkeye. He had never thought of her as anything other than his best friend.

"What's up Colonel?" Havoc asked as he jumbled into the room followed by the rest of the happy gang. Hawkeye was the last to walk in, staring directly at the floor, no emotion bearing on her face.

"You ready for your date tonight?" Breda asked. "It's my pick."

Roy curtly nodded, pretending to be busy filling out his overdue paperwork, not in the mood for any small talk. They all, minus Hawkeye, gathered around his desk, giving him a curious look.

"What's wrong Colonel?" A light voice said. "You look a bit sick."

"I'm fine Sergeant Fuery."

"But sir, you're pale-"

"And sweaty," chimed in Breda.

"And your hair is greasier than usual." Havoc piped.

"ALL RIGHT WE GET IT; I HAVEN'T SHOWERED IN A WHILE. LEAVE ME ALONE!" He yelled in a frustrated tone, banging his fist against his desk, causing all the paperwork to fly around the room.

"Geeze Colonel, you're antsy today." Falman said, taking a big step backwards towards his own desk. "Which bimbo got your panties in a bunch?"

Hawkeye's head twitched, wanting so bad to look up. Her eyes flicked slowly up towards the Colonel's, hoping for a quick look at his expression. He looked stunned.

"No-no bimbo. Nothing's wrong. No." He stumbled to get a retort out to Falman, who gazed at him curiously.

"Hey Hawkeye, do you know anything about this chick that's got him all riled up?" Havoc asked, while Falman and Mustang argued.

"No."

"Aren't you at all curious?"

"No."

"Boo, nobody's having fun around here today."

"Do your work Jean. I have to get all this done if I'm going to prepare for tonight's date."

Breda's ears perked up and he grinned. "This is going to be a good one, I promise. It's going to be a date under the stars… a picnic! I came up with the idea all by myself."

"Well isn't that special, a night under the stars." Havoc mimicked Breda.

"I'm gonna shove my foot right up YOUR STAR."

"THAT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE!"

Kain interrupted the bickering before it got to the point of hospitalization.

"I can't believe you're in the lead, Lieutenant. You must be as good as you said you were."

She smirked, "Oh I am."

She resumed her paperwork, looking down at her sheets. Havoc leaned over to Breda, whom had stopped threatening him and whispered, "Did she just make a sex joke?" to which Breda shrugged.

"I can never tell with her."

After a few moments of silence and the boys supposedly doing their work (although Mustang had his head on his desk the entire time) Hawkeye looked at Fuery.

"Hey Kain? You remember how you installed that door lock?

"Yes, of course Lieutenant."

"Well, I was wondering, does it unlock after a certain amount of time? I mean once the automatic lock goes on?

He looked around innocently. "Did I forget to mention that little tidbit of information? Oh, well, yes, the lock only has a short duration of 40 minutes, after that it unlocks again and the door can just go swinging right open…"

"What kind of system is that, dumbass? You're letting people walk right into her home." Havoc asked.

"HEY! I WAS JUST TRYING IT OUT. SHE'S ONLY HAD IT FOR A DAY. I haven't worked all the kinks out yet. I'm sure the Lieutenant can take care of herself anyways. Why, did something happen Lieutenant?"

She shook her head, "No, nothing at all. But that would've been nice to know, Sergeant that my house can get broken into at any minute."

His face went into puppy dog mode as he began to beg forgiveness from his commanding officer. "I'm so sorry, Lieutenant. I completely forgot. You know how it is with me, I never remember anything! I'm a mess, so unorganized. I was just so excited! Please forgive me, PLEASE."

"Don't worry, Sergeant. No harm done. I just…I need to leave now to make sure nobody stole my dog." She stood, gathering her jacket and her bag, heading for the door.

"I'll come with you," Mustang's voice boomed out of nowhere, his comfortable position on his desk was of no use to him anymore. She froze.

"I rather you didn't sir."

"Please Lieutenant."

"No."

"Hawkeye."

"Sir, your place is here. I'm sure I can manage walking to my house. I don't need you."

Mustang shut his mouth at that. He didn't realize how much he had wanted to be needed her in the first place. He's always known she was an independent woman, but he wanted to be helpful.

"I mean...I don't need you...coming with me. Bye." She said, awkwardly, trying to cover up the damage she might have caused. Saying she didn't need him was a little extreme.

"That's fine Lieutenant. Just go."

And with that, she stormed out of the office; leaving Mustang to resume his position with his head on his desk and the rest of the team wondering what the hell had just happened.

* * *

Her door had been wide open for anybody to waltz right in as she arrived at her apartment. She did a full scan of the flat and luckily for her, it looked like nothing had been touched, not even Hayate. The pup was still asleep when she had arrived home.

And now she was getting ready for date number three.

Hawkeye yawned as she put on another pair of earrings, dressing her hair nicely around her shoulders tonight. She wore a black skirt with a purple blouse, something very simple yet nice.

She could only hope her date would be simple and nice.

Breda had a particular sense of humor that only he understood, so judging by that alone, she knew it was going to make for an interesting picnic.

She arrived before Mustang did on this magical picnic trip.

It was a thing, raggedy blanket on a piece of grass with two sandwiches and one bottle of wine.

Way to go Breda.

About thirty feet from them was another set up, similar to hers. She assumed it was the Colonel's and she silently prayed that her date would arrive before he did. She couldn't deal with anymore awkward situations for today.

She had to focus on the positive. The positive being she was beating Roy at his own dammed game.

Her eyes roamed the patch of land that she was sitting on, her eyes falling to a large oak tree just to her right. A small patch of gingery hair poked out from behind it.

"Breda, I can see you." Hawkeye said. Startled, he ducked further behind the big tree, careful not to be seen again.

"Woah, it's like you're not even there." She rolled her eyes.

He huffed and stepped out from behind the tree, dressed from head to toe in a camouflage outfit. He had leaves sticking out of his clothing, a full on helmet and binoculars hanging around his neck.

"What are you wearing?" She asked him, trying to hold in her laughter.

"I TOLD YOU WE LOOKED STUPID!" Called a voice from behind her and out stepped Havoc, dressed like a green mushy bush.

"I think you probably look the most stupid, Havoc." Falman cried, stepping out from another large tree, directly to her left, dressed exactly like Breda.

"I thimk I got da short endm of the deal." A muffled voice cried and a little face resembling Fuery's popped out from the ground. He had been laying flat on his stomach, face in the dirt, dressed as grass.

"Is this why you wanted to have it in a picnic? So you could wear those?" Hawkeye laughed.

"Maybe."

"Smart."

He grinned like an idiot, loving the approval from his commanding officer. "I know right. Oh look, here comes the Colonel!" He waved down Roy, who was walking towards them in a not so straight line.

"Is he?"

"He is, isn't he."

"Drunk?"

"Yeah."

They all watched in horror as their beloved Colonel walked two feet and gently collapsed face first into the dirt ground. A simultaneous sigh exited the entire team, knowing full well what kind of drunk he was going to be tonight. He never gets completely wasted if he has something important to do and in his mind, this was important enough to refrain from not being able to see properly. The team began to run over to him but Hawkeye stopped them, wanting to do this for herself.

"Sir, are you alright?" Hawkeye asked, gently pulling him up onto his feet. She slung his arm around her shoulders, his head lolling over. His breath reeking of alcohol.

"Colonel? Wake up, you stupid man." His eyes fluttered open and his mouth opened in awe.

"Hawkeye? Fancy meeting you here. I was just thinking about you."

Of course, it all came out in a long slur.

"Sir, why did you do this? What made you want to go drink yourself to death? You know you had a date tonight?"

"Was the date with you?"

"You know it wasn't sir."

"But I wanted to finish what we started." He whined, his head falling forward. She sat him down on the ground against one of the many trees, looking around to see if the poor people they would be going on a date with were here.

"Sir. Nothing happened. Now you need to sober up right now –"

"No."

"You're being childish."

"Hey Hawkeye, do you know how warm you fel-"

She slapped a hand over his mouth, begging him to shut up before he said something they'd both regret.

"Listen to me sir. Drunk or not, you're still an idiot. I told you to leave this. I told you I wanted nothing to do with this. I had one request and you broke it. Do you ever think for ONE second that there are two people in this game you are playing? Not just you Colonel. I am not a robot. I am not a machine. I am a human. So stop fucking with my feelings and just please let me be. Please. I protect you and that is all."

His eyes were wide with shock. She had never spoken to him like this before. It's like a shock of emotion pushed him out of that pitiful drunken stage he was in and his mind was beginning to finally see.

"I didn't realize-"

"I know you didn't, sir. Can you just get yourself together, we have two dates coming and I really want to win," she said abruptly, trying to change the subject. She didn't want to talk what she just said even thought she knew he was dying to.

"Lieutenant-"

"Please sir. Let's just get through this date okay? I just want to go home."

And with that, she got to her feet, leaving a drunken Colonel Mustang to his sad thoughts.

**A/N – I'M SORRY, IT'S SHITTY. I DIDN'T EVEN READ IT OVER OMG. I HAD TO GIVE SOMETHING, SO THIS IS IT. IT'LL BE BETTER NEXT TIME. **

**THE DATES WILL BE IN THE NEXT ONE, AND OOOOH IT'S GOING TO BE A GOOD ONE!**

**IT'LL BE REALLY FUNNY, I PROMISE!**


	8. The Picnic

**A/N – Well, they're back on the dates now. This is the third I believe. I can't contain myself from throwing in royai moments, it's like a drug.**

**Disclaimer: NOTHING IS ME.**

**Chapter 8 – The Picnic. **

Mustang somehow stumbled back to the team's location after Hawkeye had left him. She was now sitting on her blanket, looking in the the opposite direction from him towards the beautiful pink sky. The sun was setting and grapefruit sky made her feel calm and collected after getting so riled up.

Roy watched her sitting there, the wind riling up her hair in a slight breeze and although her back was to him, he could see by her posture that she was content at the moment, like she didn't care about anything in the world. It was very beautiful to him.

Although his head was still hurting and his vision was still a bit blurry, he was able to have complete sentencing, since Hawkeye talked the alcohol right out of his system.

"You okay, sir?" Havoc asked.

"Yeah," He rubbed his eyes. "Yeah, I'm fine."

"Good because here are the dates. Sir, go and sit on your blanket over there, okay? And have fun!"

Then all four of them disappeared into the ground or the trees using their very stupid camouflage.

Mustang waltzed over to his blanket, passing Hawkeye while he did so; he looked at her, hoping for some sort of reaction to him. But she didn't give him one; instead she looked away from the helpless look in his eyes. The stain of hurt plagued them and she really didn't want to see that, she was already in a bad mood.

Maybe she was being difficult but she needed to be the bad guy in this situation. It made her feel better.

"Hawkeye, I'm sorry."

"Sir that is the second time you've apologized to me. I would really appreciate it if you stopped."

"What do you want me to say then?"

"Nothing! I don't expect anything from you!" She finally looked up at him, trying to get her point across to him.

"Well why not?!" He asked her, anger slipping into his tone now.

"Because sir, I have known you for my entire teenage life. I've stayed by your side for even longer than that. Through all those years, you have never ONCE looked at me the way you are right now."

"How am I looking at you?"

She sighed, "Just forget it sir. Please. Go sit down."

"You are so frustrating! I just want to talk!"

"Now is not exactly the best time to talk, Colonel Mustang. Now, Go. Sit. Down," she emphasized every word.

He huffed and stormed away from her, nestling on his blanket as both of the dates arrived.

It was the first time they could get a good look at them. They were stumpy looking, the man with short buzzed hair and the woman with a cropped cut hair cut. The man wore a tucked in t-shirt with jeans and the woman wore a black long skirt with a tank top.

The man had brownish/red hair that looked very familiar…sort of like Breda's. Come to think of it…he looked sort of like Breda.

The dates were talking to each other as they arrived. From what Hawkeye could hear, they were angrily whispering words of hate to one another. So they knew each other? This was interesting already. They split off from each other as they got closer to Hawkeye and Mustang, hissing out one last curse word.

The man wiped the look of anger of his face when he approached the blonde lieutenant. Wow, up close he really could be Breda's twin. He cleared his throat before speaking to her, plopping down on the blanket.

"Hey."

"Hello."

"The name's Jason," he pointed to himself as is she wouldn't know who he was talking about.

"Nice to meet you."

He burped really loud.

Hawkeye had to hold herself back from vomiting, because he was starting to smell like raw fish, especially his breath. Usually she had a pretty good stomach, but this was just nasty.

"Right. Uh. Okay. So how do you know, Breda?"

"Hah, that little shit is my younger brother."

She sighed, "I knew it." She poured herself a glass of wine, convincing herself that she was going to need it.

"So you and that woman, how do you two know each other?" Taking a sip of wine, she gestured to the woman sitting with Roy.

"Oh her? She's my wife."

Hawkeye spit the big gulp of wine she had been taking all out of her mouth, coughing as she choked on the liquid, it burning her throat.

"Your WHAT?"

"Wife. I mean chill dude. She's a bitch anyways."

Hawkeye just sat there stunned. She just didn't understand half of the human race, honestly. Isn't marriage supposed to be sacred? Between two people?

She didn't think she, personally, was ever going to get married, but isn't that the whole idea when you do?

She heard the snickering of a tree beside her. Breda. That little ass.

What kind of guy sets up his already married brother?

"Okay." She wasn't really sure how to pick up the conversation now, so she just gulped another thing of wine.

Meanwhile, over at Mustang's side of things, he was thoroughly enjoying the company of his companion, Vivien. He learned her favourite colour, her favourite ice cream flavour, her favourite sex position, her favourite orgasm face AND her favourite way to get her husband to finish.

Oh yeah, that's right, her husband.

As soon as Roy heard that, he groaned and shut his eyes.

_What the hell was Breda thinking, setting up a married couple with me and Hawkeye? _

He heard Hawkeye spit out her drink and begin to cough loudly and he opened his eyes to look at her, wanting to make sure she was okay. Her eyes were bugged and she was looking at her date like he was insane. Yup, she probably just found out the same information he did.

"So about you and your husband-"

"What about me and that COMPLETE ASSHOLE!" Vivien screeched loud enough to let her husband hear her.

"STUCK UP WHORE."

"LIMP DICK MOTHERFUCKER."

Hawkeye and Mustang just sat there quietly while the two of them had an ongoing battle of the worst insults ever.

Breda snickered away in the trees, amused with him_. It's like Christmas at my house._

Havoc slowly made his way over to Breda, trying not to be seen, moving around like he a spy, rolling on the ground as if not to be seen by Hawkeye or Mustang. They were really too busy trying to control the dates from going at each other's throats…literally.

"Yo, how long are we going to torture them like this?" He asked when he finally got to Breda.

Breda laughed. "Until they start to realize."

'You really think that if we keep giving them shitty dates, they'll eventually get it?"

Breda shrugged. "They aren't idiots. And even you can tell that something in the air is changing between them man. These last couples of days have been really interesting. We just gotta give them a little nudge. That's all."

Havoc shook his head. "I hope you know what you're doing Breda. You don't want to fuck up their relationship."

"I'm not fucking it up, I'm making it better. I'm like the love fucking guru."

Havoc slapped him upside the head to shut him up.

* * *

After what seemed like a never ending battle between husband and wife, they finally shut up and the awkward dates resumed.

Small talk ensued and Hawkeye just wanted nothing more than to go home and sleep. Jason babbled on and on about nothing particularly interesting, so she just sat there and nodded for most of it.

Eventually, Jason invited his wife to come sit with them, so naturally, Roy tagged along. It sat Jason, Hawkeye, Roy and Vivien, all scattered in a circle. Hawkeye held close to her wine bottle, figuring it was her only friend tonight.

Jason and Vivien began bickering again and Hawkeye rolled her eyes, the same time Roy did. They both looked at each other and smiled. This whole thing was a ridiculous disaster all thanks to Breda's family. Roy's white teeth glowed in the now dark night, the only thing lighting up the park were the lamps that hung from the trees. Something Breda did himself.

They kept their eyes on each other. As shaky as their relationship was right now, they could both find common ground at the fact that this really was a horrible date. She also felt a sort of comfort looking into his eyes. He warmed her heart up, that was something she couldn't deny.

"You okay?" He mouthed to her.

She nodded. She pointed to the couple who were now battling it out through lip locking. Jason was on top of Vivien and Hawkeye wasn't sure if she needed help or if she was enjoying it. A loud moan exited Vivien's body and she figured she was enjoying it.

Hawkeye rolled her eyes and scooted around the humping bodies to Mustang. They sat side by side on Hawkeye's picnic blanket, not speaking. There wasn't anything to say in that moment, the silence was comfortable enough for the two of them. Hawkeye was brutality tired, having not slept for a lengthy amount of time in days. So she gently leaned back into the grass, lying completely straight. Roy looked at her, the yellow strands of hair flowing over her shoulders and mimicked her movements. They both lay down, half on the blanket, beside each other. The couple below their feet were still making out, but they paid them no mind.

Riza's hands lay limply at her side while Roy's were bundled on his stomach. He turned his head towards hers, just looking at her side profile. Her eyes were closed, her breath coming in lightly. She was obviously exhausted. His eyes roamed down her face, her stomach, her arms and eventually her hands. With ever so quiet movement, he gently moved his left hand towards hers, fitting his perfectly into it.

He interlocked her fingers between his, fitting like a puzzle piece. The hand that had caused so much pain, fire and death was now extinguished by his beautiful ice queen. She didn't move away, but her eyes flashed open as soon as he touched her.

She didn't move for several seconds, her hand had tensed up and she looked like she was contemplating whether to give in to him or pull away back into her little bubble.

He felt her hand release into his, the tenseness disappeared and she grasped his hand right back. She squeezed it, like she didn't want to ever let it go. His eyes were still on her face and she felt his gaze so she slowly turned her head to meet his eyes.

Her hair had fallen over her face, the strands in her eyes as her head turned. He smiled and began to blow air on her, trying to remove the strands from her eyes without releasing her hand.

She giggled upon the air reaching her face and she gave him a little pout as it failed. Her hair hadn't budged. He uncomfortably reached his right hand over to her face and moved the hair, tucking it behind her ear, his thumb stroking her cheek.

For right now, in this moment, she forgot everything that was going on. All the pain and worry that had been clouding her judgement all day. All she needed was him right now.

And then, all to suddenly it was gone.

"Yo, are we going to do this or what?" A voice yelled out and Hawkeye and Mustang both sat up, hands still inseparable and they glanced down at Jason who had been talking to Vivien. What Roy and RIza didn't realize is while they were caught up in their own little world, Vivien had been removing Jason's pants.

Yeah. Classy.

"Woah, before this gets any farther, I have a proposition to make." Roy said suddenly. "Listen, we're still on this date aren't we? So why don't we all go back to my place for a little…fun?"

Hawkeye's eyes widened as she thought about what Roy was saying. She wanted nothing to do sexually with this couple, especially not a foursome.

Roy looked at her and winked. "Don't worry, it'll be fun."

What could he possibly be planning, she sighed, removing her hand from his. _He's still the same man, _she thought.

Disappointment clouded his eyes as she let his hand go. "No, wait. Just trust me okay?" He whispered to her and then turned his head towards Jason and Vivian. "What do you guys say?"

"Fuck yeah man. This is gonna be sweet!"

* * *

**A/N – YEAH OKAY, so it's short, but I mean, I gave you some sweet little cute royai. So nobody hate me. I'll try and update asap, but university and shit so yeah. I hope you guys like it. I love reviews, so drop one in if you like! **

**What's to cum? Will there be a foursome?**

**^ see what I did there. **


	9. The Foursome

**A/N – And here it is, dun dun dun, who will be naked by the end of this chapter? **

**Disclaimer: Nothing is mind, not even Roy's bum. **

**Chapter 9 – The Foursome**

"Did I just hear foursome?" The lonely camouflaged tree named Breda muttered to himself, trying to lean in on the interesting spark of a conversation.

There was no way Hawkeye would agree to something like that.

Yet Breda's eyes widened in horror as the four of them, including the uptight Lieutenant, jumped up from the little picnic Breda set up and began to walk down the hill, towards the Colonel's house.

"No, what have I done?" Breda said. "My brother's going to have a foursome with the Colonel. OH MY GOD THEY'LL BE NAKED TOGETHER!"

Breda screeched loudly and lost his balance and very ungracefully tumbled to the ground. He had, of course, just pictured his brother and the Colonel naked.

Havoc, Fuery and Falman waddled up to Breda's position once everybody was out of sight and they gently helped up their pudgy friend up from the dirt floor.

"What have I done?" Breda muttered to himself again, his eyes wide with horror.

"They're going to have a FOURSOME?" asked Kain, not quiet believing what he had just heard. "There's no way."

"I can't believe it," Falman exclaimed.

Havoc began to laugh. It began as a low chuckle and then escaladed into a full howl that made his clutch his sides.

"What's so funny?"

Havoc looked over at his three best friends.

"So it's a foursome that includes the Colonel and Breda's brother. Breda, it's kind of like the Colonel is having sex with you!"

And then erupted the picture in each other their minds of Roy Mustang and Heymans Breda doing the nasty, which had all four subordinates screeching to burn the image out of their minds.

* * *

Riza marched in a silent shock while they walked back home to Roy's tiny apartment. It was a good thing she trusted Roy with her life or else she would never be going along with any of this.

"I swear to you, Colonel Mustang, that if anybody comes near me naked tonight, I will not hesitate to shoot them." She said through gritted teeth while he tried to unlock his front door. The couple behind them were a little occupied with each other to even hear the Lieutenant. Roy's keys jingled as he tried to figure out which one would open the front entrance and he let out a rough sigh, getting frustrated with his lack of progress.

Riza rolled her eyes. "It's this one, sir," pointing to one of the hundred keys that seemed to just keep piling up on his tiny little keychain. He glanced up at her and smirked.

She glared right back at him.

"Lieutenant, come on. Do you really think I would let you do anything with those animals?" He whispered to her, leaning in closely and pointing to behind his back.

"Don't try to protect me sir. I can take care of myself. I was also gifted with a mind, so I also know how to think for myself. And the only reason I tagged along with you idiots tonight is because **you **need to be monitored."

He huffed. "Why do I need to monitored? I am a full adult male who is perfectly capable of handling his own responsibilities."

"You turned up to your date drunk, sir. I hardly call that responsible."

"Well only because you drove me to that point!" He growled at her. Her eyes widened and her stance became one of a predator, holding herself back before she pounced on her idiot commander.

"ME? Oh, you're such a…"

"I'm such a what, Lieutenant?"

"YOU'RE SUCH A MAN!"

She inwardly scolded herself for not being able to come up with a better insult then that. He looked at her and she could tell he was ready to burst out into laughter at her stupid comment. She raised a finger in warning, if he laughed, she would kill him. She really hated being laughed at and he knew that, she could tell he was really trying to restrain himself.

"Yes, Lieutenant, if you haven't noticed, I am a man," through very deep breaths, a grin peeking through his lips and he raised his hands up and down his body as if to prove it to her.

"Oh…I've noticed." She muttered, very VERY quietly, her eyes straining to look at his body. She wouldn't let them.

He stopped his immature giggles and straightened up, taking a step towards her as she took one back. He thought he heard her say…

"What was that?"

"Nothing, sir, just open the door."

"Hawkeye!"

"Colonel."

"Riza."

She almost shuddered at her name being pronounced by him, as he hardly ever used it and it sounded so delicate and graceful on his lips. That was one thing she would kill to hear him say over and over again.

And then an angry booming voice echoed the small hallway. "LET'S GET THIS GOING! WE'VE GOT KIDS AT HOME!"

Mustang and Hawkeye looked at each other, then back at the couple who had now finished their disgusting tongue dance. They had kids at home? Of course they did. Mustang turned back towards his door and with a simple turn of the key he opened the wooden door into his dark apartment.

Riza shuffled in behind Roy, followed by the world's couple of the year. Roy flicked the switch, which made a low buzzing sound and actually took a few seconds to heat up and produce light.

"I told you to change that light bulb sir." Riza muttered as she walked by him, shaking her head in disappointment. His apartment was really terrible and he never took the time to take care of it. So when the team had their weekly meetings in his apartment, Riza would always find something new he had to work on, which he never did anyways. "It's going to go out any minute."

"I know, Lieutenant. But I'm not responsible enough to handle it, so I thought I'd just leave it."

She sighed, "You're being immature."

"You're right; I'm more of a boy than a man."

She scowled at him again, shaking her head and muttered a bunch of fowl words that described the way he was acting.

"Yo, where's the bedroom?" Jason muttered, he had already taken off his top while the two soldiers were busy bickering away.

"Oh god," Riza said, turning her head away to block her sight from the blubbery oaf of a hairy man. Roy shuddered as he looked upon the half naked human in front of him, wishing he could pay the guy to put his shirt back on.

"Bedroom...is that way…uh, you two go get all…ready." Roy said slowly, pointing to the direction of his room. They stumbled off, giggling the whole way and they began to remove their clothes, slamming the bedroom door on their way in. He was going to have to disinfect it later.

"What are you planning, Ro-Colonel." Riza muttered, accidentally forgetting her place, this whole situation was way too informal for her.

"My name's Roy, Riza. You could use it."

"No thank you, sir. I prefer to keep it professional."

He snorted, "I think we've gone way past professional many years ago, Lieutenant. And to answer your question, I need you to stay out of sight for a few minutes."

"Uh, why, sir?"

"I can't have you being seen. Nor do I want you to see me."

Confusion entered her mind but she agreed to his requests, hiding directly behind a curtain in his dirty living room, while he remained in the front hallway. She couldn't see him, but could only hear his soft movements and the rustling of fabric.

And then he cleared his throat gently, getting ready to speak. "Jason, Vivien, come out to the front, we're ready out here."

Riza heard the sound of his bedroom door opening and the rustling of feet and then a screeching voice say, "Why are we doing it out here? And where's the blonde?"

"She's just getting ready in the bathroom, but I figured we could start out here. Be adventurous. "

A slight giggle entered the room. "Mmm, I like the way you think." Vivien's voice was way too seductive for Riza's liking and it pissed her off. She could only imagine what effect it was having on Roy, he probably loved the naked Vivien all over him…even with her husband standing right there.

"While we wait for her, why don't you too start it off," Roy said to them.

"But I always have him. I want to start with you tonight."

A knot entered Riza's stomach as she heard the mumble of agreement from Roy, with very little hesitation, followed by the disgusting sound of French kissing. She could only picture in her mind what must have been happening and she slowly wished she could die behind this curtain.

Several seconds later, Roy broke away (breathlessly, which Riza wasn't too thrilled about either) from Vivien. "Okay…now you too."

He practically forced Vivien to kiss her own husband but once they got into it, they REALLY got into it. Riza heard the sound of furniture moving, moans escaping and wet kissed which travelled all around the room.

And then suddenly, Riza heard Roy's front door swing open, a gasp from Vivien and a 'what the fuck,' from Jason, the shuffling a of footsteps, a cry from the couple and then a slamming of the door shut.

He kicked them out, butt naked.

Riza almost laughed herself to death behind the curtain and thinking it was safe to come out and share the laughter with her commanding officer, she stepped around the fabric and was halted in her steps.

There was a butt naked Roy Mustang, standing there in his front hallway. He was half bending over, in the midst of putting back on his pants (without any boxers) and he stopped when he heard her approaching.

Without meaning too, she saw EVERYTHING.

She couldn't help but trail her eyes over the smooth curve off his backside.

_Holy crap, I'm looking at my naked Colonel's bum. _She thought to herself, begging internally for her eyes to look away before she regretted it.

They didn't listen.

He didn't move as her eyes moved up the small curve of his back, the light skin danced around his spine and the muscles added a depth of texture to it and then her eyes trailed back to his behind.

He cleared his throat as she stared for a lengthy amount of time, a blush had entered his cheeks and before she could see it, he turned his face towards the opposite wall, carefully jumping up to pull his pants back on to his waist.

Why was he blushing? Plenty of girls had seen him naked before, this was nothing new.

A blush had also attached itself to her face and she spun around, looking at the other wall as well.

"S-sorry, sir," she muttered.

"It's okay, Lieutenant. You can look now, I'm dressed."

That was a lie.

As she turned around, she was greeted by the toned upper body, the muscular arm and the stone abs that just had to be sculpted from the heavens.

"Sir, you said you were dressed!" Hawkeye spun around again, avoiding him.

"I am Lieutenant! You've never seen a man without a shirt before?" He laughed.

"It's just…you, oh, will you just put on a shirt." She mumbled, sounding like a complete fool. "Why were you naked anyway?"

He laughed, "Well, I had to sell it. It wouldn't have been very convincing if I had been fully clothes now, would it?"

"And you just pushed them into the hallway?"

He shrugged. "It seemed like a fun thing to do, they have to walk all the way home now, naked. It was better than having sex with them anyways, unless that's what you wanted."

"Ew,"

"Exactly. And now, we both win this date."

"That isn't really fair sir. Seeing as this is your apartment and you got them home. You should get two points for that."

He shook his head. "That's not necessary."

"Why? Don't think I can win just because you'll be a point ahead of me?"

"Oh come on, don't do that thing."

She crinkled her nose. "What thing?"

"Where you turn everything I say against me. I'm just trying to help you out!"

"I don't need your help to win this, sir."

"Oh...really? So then maybe I should take back that one little point you got for setting me up with HAVOC!"

Her face dropped and she stood their stunned. He knew. Shit. How was she going to dig herself out of this one?

"It's still considered a date!"

"Not when you told him to blow the date just so you'd win."

She sighed, rubbing a hand through her yellow hair. "Like you've never thought of cheating and lying, those are basically your number one personality traits."

His jaw dropped slightly open and hurt clouded his face. "That's what you think?"

She was so riled up; she couldn't stop herself from hurting him. Something she promised herself she wouldn't do.

"Look what you just did tonight! You lied and cheated your way through those people, didn't you? I guess I am just learning from the master."

Why wouldn't her mouth shut up?

"Not to mention, you toyed with their emotions. Do you have any idea what that is like for people?"

He grimaced at her accusations, because deep within him, he knew it was true. He played with people; he always had, even when he had their best intentions in mind.

"It's a game to you, isn't it? Human lives. It's all just one big bet. I'm just a stupid pawn in whatever sick thing you have going on in your mind."

He gasped, his jaw opening slightly, his eyes bugged out at her. "That's what you think you are to me, a pawn? That is something you will never EVER be, especially to me. You've always been my Queen and nothing will ever change that."

* * *

**A/N – see what I did there, with the queen thing. There will be more dates in later chapters, promise!**

**Okay, woo. **

**Yeah, so no foursome, just some nekked Roy. Yay for Roy's bum? **

**I love reviews, if you'd like to drop me one! And I'll update as soon as I can! Love you guys!**


	10. The Phone Call

**A/N – YAY LOOK I UPDATED. FUCK SCHOOL. I hope you guys like this one!**

**Disclaimer: NotHING IS MINE OKAY.**

**Chapter 10 – The Phone Call**

"They've been up there for a while, I wonder what they're doing," Fuery asked, gently.

The four of them stood outside the large apartment buildings. They had arrived a few minutes after the dates had. Havoc leaned gently on a large tree that stood right outside the door, Kain and Falman stood next to the street cars, both looking at the windows and Breda was near the front door, leaning in to see if he could hear anything.

"Breda, you won't be able to hear through that door dumbass. They are in the Colonel's apartment."

Breda flipped Havoc the bird.

Havoc snorted. "Also, Kain, we already know what they're doing. We all heard the foursome conversation dick."

"Don't call him dick!" Breda shouted at Havoc, now hobbling down the steps away from the wooden door, staring up at Havoc. A stern look crossed Breda's face.

"Thanks Breda," said Kain, with a look of triumph.

"He's more of a trout-cocked tittron"

Kain's face masked into confusion and his head spun around to look at his idiot co-worker. "What..I'm a what?"

Havoc on the other hand was wheezing from the laughter that had overtaken his body. He clutched his sides and with his left hand, he lent it against Breda's shoulder, trying to keep his balance. Breda's grin was bigger than the Colonel's ego. After what seemed like an eternity of trying to calm down. Havoc was able to throw another insult out at poor little Kain, "Oh Breda, you mean he's like a fancy-fingered dumppuncher?"

Breda burst into an abominably loud cackle, now joined along with Havoc's as they both tried to keep from tumbling towards the ground. "Yeah! Havoc...Havoc, he's like a rot-haired testiclewallet!"

"Or like a sore-skinned sausagebagger."

"Man, you are too funny."

"Heh, kind of like a…a…pottybreath…pillow….fuck," muttered Falman, trying to join in on Havoc and Breda's fun. All three heads turned around to look at the second Lieutenant; smiles had disappeared from both Havoc and Breda's faces and the laughter entered into a silent state. Kain's reminded confused at everything that was going on.

"No…no, Falman. Not like that. God, you ruin everything," Breda muttered and he and Havoc spun around, in a very diva way, turning their backs to both Fuery and Falman and continued to make jokes that only they would comprehend

The other two looked at each other, rolling their eyes and shrugging. They have yet to decipher the bromance that was Breda and Havoc.

"You guys are so fucking weird," Falman croaked, and returned back to watching the very uninteresting window.

_**20 minutes later**_

"THAT BASTARD! I'M GOING TO KILL HIM, THAT SON OF A BITCH!"

Breda heard the continual anguished cries of what sounded like his brother and sister-in-law through the wooden apartment door, once he had returned to his post.

"SEE! I TOLD YOU I COULD HEAR THINGS THROUGH THIS DOOR, IN YOUR FACE HAV-" The quick swing of the door cut off any gloating Breda could throw at Havoc as he was thrown off the balcony and into the garden below.

Rubbing his head, he looked back up to what had hit him and was greeted by the lovely bosoms of his brother's wife.

"Well hubba hubba," muttered Breda as his eyes began to adjust to her naked figure. Her eyes were fuming and he could practically feel the dragon's breath on his cheeks as she glared down at him. He stayed in his sitting position in the garden as his vision began to take to the large figure behind the beautiful naked goddess in front of him.

"HOLY SHIT DUDE, AT LEAST FUCKING COVER YOURSELF!" Breda screeched and clamped his eyes shut, falling back into the garden so he was laying straight up, not coming into eye contact with his brother or his naked wife. He did not need to see another man's penis.

The others simple stared at the two nude, pissed off people in front of them, who were still shouting angry slurs back towards the house, not bothering to cover anything genital or otherwise.

"If you don't mind me asking…uh…why are you out here…naked?" An innocent little Kain asked , looking up into the sky to avoid eye contact with them or their body parts.

Bad choice.

"THAT ASSHOLE THINKS THAT HE IS SMARTER THAN US? KICKING US OUT LIKE THAT, I'LL SHOW HIM."

The boys all looked at each other, minus Breda who was still trying to get the image of his brother's dong out of his head.

"Then that means they planned this. There was never going to be a foursome." Havoc disappointment shredded through the night.

"I told you!" Fuery cried. "The Lieutenant would never-"

"Oh that Lieutenant whore is with him right now," Vivien hissed, spinning around so she faced the three of them.

Team Mustang's ears all perked up at the very interesting word Vivien decided to throw in after Lieutenant.

"What was that?" Falman said, his straightened his back up, trying to make himself look taller and more intimidating. Kain and Havoc raged behind him.

Nobody called their Lieutenant names.

"You heard me. That whore is probably up there sucking his-"

Breda emerged from the plants, stumbling to get a hold of himself as he walked towards his sister-in-law.

"You listen to me. If I ever hear you call the Lieutenant that again, I'll-"

Jason walked towards his wife, still butt naked and making no move to cover up, he stood behind her.

"You're gonna do what bro? That blond haired bimbo is going to get what's coming to her, you just wait."

_Pop._

A fist came flying out of nowhere, cracking Jason upside the skull. Breda looked at Havoc, Havoc looked at Falman and Falman looked over at –

"OH MY GOD, THAT REALLY HURT!"

Kain Fuery stood there, rubbing his right hand, trying to sooth the pain from his now fractured knuckles. Redness spreading over them as well the now fresh blood, from him or Jason, he couldn't tell.

But he just punched a 250 rock hard man directly in the face.

Jason sat on the ground, the lights knocked completely out of him.

"Oh honey!" Vivien dropped to his naked side, rubbing his jaw and trying to leave little kisses all over his face. He was too disoriented to push her away or try and help himself up.

"That was for the Lieutenant!" Kain cried, trying to keep the tears of pain in. Smiles broke out over the faces of his three friends.

"Look at you, Fuery. You're growing up." Havoc patted him on the back. "You're a big boy now."

Breda looked down at his brother. "You may be my 'real' brother, but you do NOT insult my family, got it? Don't be such a dick bro. Now go home. You have kids waiting on you."

* * *

Silence had entered the room as Roy cleared his throat, his face turning a bright shade red. He grasped his shirt tightly in his hands, wondering when the silence would end and when the sound of his Lieutenant would start back up again, whether to fight him as they seemed to be doing lately or to…whatever. He just wished she would break the overwhelming quiet.

But she didn't. She just stood there, her eyes staring blankly ahead at him, as if his skin was transparent and he could be seen right through. That's exactly what he wished he was right now, invisible.

This was a big deal, what he had just admitted to her, although had little words can seem.

The Queen is the most powerful component in the game of chess, and although it's still a piece in one of his little games, it made her more important than even himself, making her the most important player in his life.

A King is nothing without his Queen.

And she knew that.

"I..I h-have to make a call," her voice finally peaked up, stuttering as she spoke, her eyes still glazed over.

"Wh-okay." He stammered to her and his eyes traveled, watching her walk briskly into his bedroom where the phone was located and gently shutting the door behind her. Her scent lingered as she walked by him. With a sigh, he pulled the shirt over his head, flattening his hair as it messed it up.

What did he do? That was severely inappropriate. There were laws to follow and rules to obey and he couldn't be messing anything up by saying stupid things. She could get the wrong idea-

_But was it the wrong idea?_

* * *

"Rebecca…come on…answer." Riza whispered into the phone, holding it close to her ear as if she could telepath her thoughts through it.

"Hello?" A groggy voice answered.

"Becca! Oh thank you, I need your help."

"Riza? What's the matter? Are you dead?"

Riza crinkled her nose. "Yes, Becca, I'm dead, I thought I'd call you and let you know."

"Okay, dumb question, I get it. What's wrong?"

And in 5 whole minutes, Riza summed up all of the events that had been taking places to her dear, dear friend Rebecca Catalina.

"Holy shit." Rebecca whispered after a series of silent moments.

"What does that mean?"

"What do you mean what do I mean? He basically fingered yo-"

"REBECCA!" Riza hissed, glancing at the door.

"Sorry, I just think he should kiss you first before he puts his hand down your pants."

Riza groaned, "Well I wasn't really wearing pants."

"Well, I'll be damned. You're a little minx aren't you?"

"Rebecca, please. I need your help. What do I do now?" Riza melted to the hardwood floor, leaning her head against the king sized bed post.

"I think it's obvious, Riza."

"Well I am so glad you know the secret. Mind sharing with the class please?"

She heard Rebecca chuckled over the other end of the line. "It's obvious you like that bastard of a Colonel."

"What!? Becca, no I do not!"

Yet she couldn't stop her stomach from twisting into little knots.

"You're not, eh? So why not just kiss him?"

"Rebecca, why would I do that? There are laws against this sort of thing and it would prove nothing since I don't have any unprofessional feelings for him!"

"Screw the laws; they're made for people to break them. And if it doesn't mean anything, it'll just be a onetime thing, right? Come on, live a little."

"He is my commanding officer! He's my freaking Colonel for crying out loud. You know how he is with women! He's…he's Roy Mustang!" She tried to say in a hush tone, for fear of alarming the Colonel.

"You asked my advice and that is what I'm giving. It's your choice to take it or not. I have to go, but one thing Riza?"

"Yeah?"

"What did his ass look like?"

With a groan, she slammed the phone down on the receiver. So much for the help from Rebecca, she really sucked. Maybe she could just leave? Escape without him noticing?

No he'd notice eventually.

Maybe she should just talk to him, a straightforward conversation, one without arguing or getting flustered or any of that.

Just a one on one type of thing would work.

She was running out of options and that seemed like the best pick, so ignoring her friend's terrible advice, she gathered herself off the cold floor, straightening her outfit and calmed her butterfly filled stomach down before she walked out of his bedroom.

He was standing in the same spot she left him, his shirt now covering his upper body and he had a look of worry on his face. His eyebrows creased together as she approached him and the floor creaked with every step she took.

"Listen, Lieutenant. I just meant, you're the Queen…because you're a girl…you know? Not because you're **my** Queen or anything. It was just a stupid thing to say…yeah."

He bit his lip to keep his nerves all bundled in. He really hoped she wasn't angry with him, he really hated hurting her and by the look on her face, she was confused enough to have it slowly turn into anger.

"It's fine, Colonel. I get it. I'm the girl in the squad. That makes me the automatic Queen of the game, unless you'd prefer Havoc as your queen."

He grinned at her little crack, knowing there was no way in hell he would ever coronate Havoc. She smiled back at him, her teeth glowing in the dark room, the stupid light bulb just about ready to give in. Her hair was acting as the sun while the yellow glowed around the room. It was the brightest thing around their making her the center of his attention.

"Uh, listen…Hawkeye. I feel as if we've been down each other's throats nonstop since this bet happened. I just, want to go back to the old us."

"The old us?"

He smiled. "Yeah, you know. The I protect you, you protect me thing." He bit his bottom lip again, making it look delicious in her eyes. She noticed the fullness of his lips and the slight cracks he had in them from the constant cold water damage he had to himself.

He should know better. He is useless on rainy days.

Yes she found herself wondered what he'd taste like. Like the peppermint she had been craving so badly? Or another sweet spice?

_Shit, Rebecca is getting in my head. I need to leave before this gets out of control. _

"Sir, I would love nothing more than to before. But I really should get going. We can figure out the date stuff tomorrow morning." She stormed by him, avoiding his body and scent while walking.

But she didn't get too far as a strong warm hand wrapped around her upper arm, pulling her back towards him, her breath leaving her body.

"Wait."

* * *

**A/N – I'm such a bitch omg, I would kill an author who did this to me.**

**But LOVE ME ANYWAYS OK.**

**I love reviews, so if you wanna pop one in, it'll make me happy! **


	11. The Hickey

**A/N – TWO FREAKING CHAPTERS, COME ON, I DESERVE A HIGHFIVE. I like this chapter because so much royai. **

**Disclaimer – Nothing is owned. **

**Chapter 11: The Hickey. **

"Wait."

The word echoed around the apartment leaving a cold tinge of unexpectedness in the air. She paused, not turning around to face him as he so obviously wanted. Her eyes would betray her. The want in them would spread.

He couldn't know how much she wanted this. His shallow breathing shivered down her back and she snapped her eyes shut, wanting nothing more than to turn around and take his breath into her own. But she didn't, taking all the self restraint she had to just simply stand there on the cold broken floor.

"Sir. Let me go," was all she could muster.

"No..just..just wait."

"Wait for what sir?"

"Wait. Wait for me."

That caused her to spin around rather quickly, also causing him to drop her arm out of sheer surprise. He didn't expect her to respond, but her face moved directly below his so he was looking down at her. Their eyes matched in yet another colorful game of black and brown. His arms now landed loosely at his sides, not daring to grab her again.

Her blond hair had whipped around as she did, landing in a messy wad around her neck, but she made no move to tie it back up. Instead, she glared directly at him, her mouth in a straight grim line and her breath coming in as angry as her stance would seem.

"Wait for you?" She growled at him, not caring about what she was about to admit. This had gone on far enough. "I HAVE been waiting for you…since I was a 16 year old GIRL! So now what? You expect me to wait even LONGER for you?! I am slowly running out of time and patience Colonel Mustang."

His nose crinkled and he took a few steps to the left to avoid the sniper's shot. "What are you talking about?"

She huffed angrily, wanting nothing more than to stomp her feet like a child and storm out of the room to throw a temper tantrum. Why did he have to infuriate her so much? But alas, she was no longer a child and she had to deal with things in a more adult manner.

"Are you a COMPLETE IDIOT?"

He held up his hands in defeat. "Y-yes?"

"ARGH!"

She turned around to go stomping out of the door but her beat her too it. He frantically looked for a way to make her stay so she could explain herself. So, without really thinking, he snatched her famous hawk clip that was pinched on her top that she was wearing.

Bad idea.

"Give that back."

A stubborn grin masked his face and he held the clip over her head, just so she was out of reaching distance of it. He leaned down to her, keeping his right arm way above her head and whispered, "Make me."

She snarled at him like she was a chimera. "You do not want to do this right now. Give it back."

"Or what?"

"I'll use the same technique on you that I used to potty train Hayate."

"I don't believe you."

She raised an eyebrow. Surely he knew she wasn't bluffing. Her clip was one of her most prized possessions and she would do what she needed to get it back.

"If you're not gonna come get it, then I will just have to hide it."

"Don't you dare."

The smirk remained on his face as he dangled it up high. She sighed and reached up high to see if she could get to it. His laugh echoed in her ears as she failed miserably at obtaining it. She began to jump into the air, trying to snatch it from her.

"Sir, this is not amusing. Give it back."

"Not until you tell me what you meant."

She tried to jump up and grab it again but he had moved it higher away from her. Now she was getting pissed off. She looked up at his stupid grin and decided that it needed to be wiped off. So she made it look like she was going to jump up once again to reach for the clip but instead clambered him right in the stomach with her right hook.

"Uhg." He moaned in pain as his arm dropped down, still clutching the clip. "That was cheating."

"You never set any rules sir. Now hand it over."

He shook his head, holding his stomach with one hand and the other still clamped down. She took this as an opportunity to best him and she reached for his hand, desperate to grab the clip and run. She got a hold of it but he was still clinging to it. So it became a game of tug-o-war.

"Sir, this is childish. Give…me…it…back."

"Tell …me what…you…meant."

"If you break this clip, sir, so help me I will rip you from the inside out."

He face worked its way into a grotesque form as he envisioned Hawkeye repeating her words to him in a physical form. They continued to fight for it, both of them grunting out of anger at the other one and both had the determination to win the damn clip back.

Hawkeye needed a new tactic so she let go of the clip quickly, not giving him time to think, and climbed up on his kitchen chair, launching herself onto his back. He yelped in surprise and she wrapped her legs around his hips and her arms around his neck, clutching on for dear life.

He couldn't hide the clip anywhere with her attached to him.

"Real mature, lieutenant."

"Coming from the man who stole my clip."

She tightened her hold on him, her legs coming closer together and enclosing themselves around his lower body. Her face buried into the crook of his neck and damn did he smell good.

"So what, you're just gonna stay on me all night?"

She nodded. "Until you give me what I want."

"And what do you want?"

Well wasn't that the question of the hour.

"You know I want my clip sir."

"Is that all?"

She nodded into his neck again.

"Well, looks like we'll be here for a while then. Since you're just hanging there, do you mind telling me what you meant?"

"It's not important."

"Yes it is."

"Sir, if you don't stop asking me stupid things, I will bite you."

"Bite me? Like a vam-"She clamped down on his neck, as gently yet painful as she could, just to give him a little spark, hoping that he would release the clip.

"You actually bit me!"

"Well it was a stupid question."

"Lieutenant, I think you just gave me a hickey."

"I did not!"

"Yeah you definitely did."

"No I didn't! THIS is a hickey."

From the awkward angle she was at, she tried to do it the best she could. Her lips were slightly open as she set them down on the middle of his neck, the smooth skin greeting her o shaped mouth. She heard him gasp out in surprise as she used a little bit of teeth to nip at the skin. She began to suck gently, like placing little kisses on his skin. He gasped out again and she could feel his body responding to the treatment she was giving him.

His left hand reached up behind him to grab her hair. He clutched it in his hands as she continued to nip at him, running his hands through her waves. She clutched at him, making sure she wouldn't fall off his back and onto the hard floor. There was no way he could catch her in time.

Her tongue darted out to meet his smooth flesh, causing him to make a slight groaning noise. He pulled at her hair even harder which motivated her to continue the fine work she was doing. She would be lying if she said she didn't enjoy him like this. He was under her spell and it was causing her just as much pleasure as it was for him.

The familiar wetness in her pants began to form and she knew she was in trouble. After one last bite, she removed her face from his neck, seeing the blue bruise beginning to form.

"Now THAT was a hickey," she whispered into his ear.

"Y-yeah." He muttered, releasing his hand from her hair and clearing his throat. His neck was sore but in a very pleasurable way.

"How about you give me my clip now, sir?"

For a split second, Mustang almost forgot the sole purpose of this argument and raised his hand to hand her the clip.

"WAIT A SECOND, YOU DID THAT ON PURPOSE!" He yelled at her.

"Did what?" She asked innocently, her place on his back was still turning out to be of use.

"You gave me a hickey to distract me! My dear Lieutenant…You really are sneaky."

"I did no such thing."

"Psh, save it Hawkeye. I'm not done with this conversation."

She rolled her eyes. "What conversation? We've been chasing each other for 20 minutes."

"You know what I'm talking about."

"Sir, just give me the clip!"

She reached down towards it, carefully trying to stay on his back while doing so, knowing he would not give her another opportunity to get back on. Unfortunately for both of the parties in this situation, gravity had other ideas.

Between the huffs of anger and frustration from both of them, Hawkeye's movement caused her to just barely slip down his back and Roy, in an attempt to hold her up so she didn't hurt herself, lost his own balance, both of his feet crashed into his living room couch and there he went toppling over, dropping the clip with a clank, sending the Lieutenant sprawled on the couch before him and he landed as gently as he could….right on top of her

Her legs opened up as she realized he was coming towards her, giving him a comfy place to fall onto instead of her pointy knees. Both of their heads banged together in a smack and their bodies melted together, trying to cushion the fall.

He put his hands on either side of her, to hold himself up so all of his body weight was not on just her. Her brown on his black yet again. Her eyelashes reached up, touching the top of her eyelids, straining herself to look p at him. His breath was heavy from the shock of tripping and it whipped across her face. Hers was just as unsteady, but more from the fact that he was on top of her rather than the initial fall.

"Are you okay?" his breathless voice asked.

She nodded, not looking away from his eyes. Her legs, subconsciously of course, began to tighten around him, pushing his lower body into hers, causing a delicious friction between them. He laid his top half onto hers as well, still slightly holding himself up so he didn't hurt her, yet the only thing that was not touching now were their faces.

She locked her legs securely around his backside, causing a groan to erupt from him. Her hands travelled up, through his arms in the middle and up around his head. His breath hitched as she tightened her fingers into his coal coloured hair, something a lover would do.

But they were not lovers and this was too much.

"Sir."

"Mhm."

"You should probably move."

"I know." He whispered back to her, not making any attempt to get up.

"Sir."

"Well if you want me to get up, you should remove your legs from their death grip."

"Mhm." She responded.

"We seem to keep getting ourselves into these kinds of situations."

"What kind of situations?"

He smiled at her. "You tell me."

She sighed, not knowing how to answer. It was true, it seemed like they couldn't stop yelling at each other one second and getting so close to kissing in the next. This was ridiculous. Maybe Rebecca was right. To put a stop to it for once and for all, she just needed to go with it.

It didn't mean anything and if she did it right here and now, she could get it out of the way.

So she lay there, looking up into the handsome face hovering above her, pumping herself up for what she was about to do.

"Sir."

"Yes."

"Don't hold this against me."

And she launched her lips at his.

* * *

**A/N – SO MUCH ROYAI **

**I HOPE YOU GUYS LIKE ME AND HATE ME.**

**BUT LEAVE SOME REVIEWS, THEY MAKE ME SO VERY HAPPY OK. I like comments, questions, concerns. Just let me know! **

**Thanks guy! **


	12. The Kiss

**A/N – I just want to address this matter, and this all I'm going to say on it. If you do not like my story, no one is forcing you to read. If you think it is going 'downhill' then pack your shit up and leave. This is meant to be a comedic, romantic story. If you think it's too immature, well that is your problem. I like criticism, I like comments, I love them all. But just being a straight up dick is plain rude. So I don't want you here, my story doesn't want you here and if anybody actually likes this story, well I'm sure they don't want you here making me feel like I'm doing something wrong. It makes me want to give up on writing.**

**Also, I like writing for people who like reading. This chapter is all Royai. There will be more dates in the future, I promise you this. I just needed some Royai to fill in my life. **

**And on that note, here you go.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

**Chapter 12: The Kiss.**

As soon as her lips brushed gently across his, she knew.

This was not nothing.

At first, she had a rush of energy, as if she needed to have his lips in hers, to feel the softness, the sweetness that was Roy Mustang. But once her mouth greeted his, a gasp of surprise at the flow of energy and passion she felt between them scared her and instead of her original plan, to have a fast, upbeat kiss, she stopped, her lips just laying on his, no one moving.

Like a childish kiss.

Her eyes had automatically closed and yet his stayed opened. He was shocked, of course, not thinking she would have the confidence built up enough to actually kiss him. Not that he was complaining, although his manly exterior might have been a little bruised from not being able to make the first move.

But that really didn't matter right now. As they stayed silent, his eyes roaming her face and hers crunched closed, as if looking at him would melt her. She was embarrassed, maybe because he didn't part his lips or welcomed her in like she had hoped he would. In reality, he was just trying to adjust.

But then, ever so slowly and much to her relief, he gently closed his eyes and opened his mouth, the shock now fading and all he could sense was this beautiful, strong, confident woman before him. It was intoxicating. All he wanted was her and the opportunity was presenting itself right to him. She responded, her passion kicking in and a sigh of relief exited her body as she realized she didn't make a horrible mistake. He wanted this just as much.

And finally, she smiled into his mouth and kissed him, really kissed him.

His lips accepted hers as they engulfed each other in a war of dominance; a hungry kiss and both were not willing to easily fill their appetites. Lips parted as they molded together again and again, his tongue teasing her outer lip, waiting to be accepted by this beautiful creature. She moaned lightly and let him in, a fire setting in her belly as their tongues danced together.

Her hands moved up into his messy dark hair, her hands clamped into it and she pushed him down towards her, trying to get as much of him as she could. The warmth and softness of each other's lips made the kiss all the sweeter. She opened her mouth and moaned again into his as his tongue tasted her bottom lip. That fulfilled any of Roy's fantasies, just hearing her like that.

He lay on top of her, both of their bodies responding to the kiss as well. She could feel his hardness pressed up against her groin and she grinned into his lips, letting out a small laugh. She didn't know she could ever do that to the Colonel and it made her oh so happy that she could. He, breathlessly, pulled back just an inch to look at her flushed face, his forehead still touching hers, not wanting to break any of the contact with her. He raised an eyebrow to ask why she was laughing.

She responded by gathering his lips into hers again. This time, she pressed her lower body up into his, wanting to be the dominant. She also wanted him to know that she was yearning for him just as much as his lower region said he wanted her.

"..Shit." he grumbled, voice deep with lust at the contact and she smirked.

"You're a devil." He said against her lips.

"Mmmhm." She whispered to him, she sounded out of breath and very very turned on. She began grinding herself up against him again and that caused another low groan to escape from his mouth.

"You…should stop…that."

"Or what?" She said, in a teasing, panting voice.

He grinned and began to kiss her jaw line. Her eyes snapped closed again, their passion overheating and he slowly worked his way to her ear, nipping at it gently, running his tongue along the outer part of it. He felt her body shaking and at first, he took pride in making her react like this and it took a moment to realize she wasn't shaking in ecstasy…she was laughing and trying very hard to be silent about it.

He paused and straightened up to look at her again. Her right hand covered her mouth and he could hear her wheezing behind it, also letting out a little snort.

As embarrassed as she was about that, she couldn't help herself.

"Is there something funny?" His ego burned at the thought of him doing something wrong.

"No…No it's just…that really…tickled."

He was stunned. That's never happened before. No one had ever been…ticklish before.

"Ticklish huh?" his lips flashed into a smile and he looked down at the perfection before him who had melted into a giggling mess.

"So, my Lieutenant is ticklish…"

"Colonel…don't….do it…" a frightened Riza cried out as Roy nudged his head against her neck again.

"Colonel…." He was getting closer and closer to her ear.

"COLONEL!" And he nipped at it again and she just lost it. She was laughing so hard she could no longer breathe and she had flailed her arms out, kicking Roy off of the couch and he landed with a thud on the floor.

"Ow."

She sat straight up, her smile hidden behind her hand and her eyes had tears of laughter threatening to fall down.

"Colonel... I am so…sorry!"

She slid off the couch onto the floor beside him. He lay directly on his back, looking up at the ceiling like he was looking at the stars.

Although, he probably was seeing stars.

"Are you okay?"

He nodded and looked at her, his smile still efficiently in place. "I'm fine, but are you?"

She smiled and shivered, as if remembering the ticklish feeling on her ear. "Yes, sorry sir. I'm just…my ear is a very sensitive spot."

"Clearly."

Embarrassment flooded her cheeks as she just took in the situation at hand and it began to dawn on her that she just kissed Colonel Roy Mustang.

The boy she's known since she was 16 years old, the boy who grew up to be the Flame Alchemist and the hero of Ishval.

The only boy that's ever truly owned her heart.

No more denying, no more fighting, no more heartbreak.

This is it. This is what she wanted.

But did he?

* * *

"Yo, what the fuck are they doing up there?" An impatient Havoc asked. They were all still waiting for the Lieutenant so they could walk her home. The figured that after the intolerant couple left, Hawkeye would come running down right after them…

Unless team Mustang's plan had worked and Hawkeye had fallen head over heels for the Colonel.

"Why don't we just go up?" Fuery asked, clutching an ice bag to his hand, Breda had run and got him one.

"We can't just go up! What if they're…you know?" Falman answered.

"What? Planning on how they are going to murder Breda for setting them up with two idiots?"

"Shut up, Havoc. Think about it...what if they are finally doing the deed, up there, right now?"

Havoc rolled his eyes. "There's no way. Hawkeye wouldn't let him have it that easy. She's…she's freaking Hawkeye!"

All three subordinates rolled their eyes. Havoc sighed.

"Alright, let's say she is riding the Mustang-"

"Riding the Mustang?" Breda sputtered.

"Yeah you know…his last name's Mustang...And she'd be riding…what?! "

Falman, Breda and Fuery keeled over laughing at their idiot friend.

"Well I thought it was pretty clever."

Not getting any response from the three who were still chuckling like lunatics, he decided he wanted to know what was going on up there. If the Colonel and the Lieutenant finally admitted their undying love to each other, that would mean that they didn't get to set them up on any more dates and Havoc sure had some interesting ones to come along.

Once the laughter died down behind him, he faced them again, all wiping tears from their eyes.

"Fuck, that was funny."

"Aww, fuck you guys. Come on; let's see what they're doing in there."

"How?" Falman asked.

Havoc grinned and pointed to the window of Roy's apartment building.

* * *

"Lieutenant?" Roy asked as he recovered from his probably bruised tailbone.

"Yes, sir."

"Why did you…just kiss me?"

She thought hard about what her answer could possibly be and after running through them all, she simply came out with, "because I wanted to."

It wasn't a lie and it was also apparently a good enough answer for him as he looked into her eyes, seeing nothing but a good soul. He wanted to taste her again and she didn't restrain him from reaching over to where she was sitting, using the smallest of movements and placing a gentle kiss on her puffy lips.

It was a simple gesture yet it spoke all volumes.

Riza took this as an opportunity to really kiss him again, trying to live in this moment now and not think about the consequences they could have tomorrow.

They could talk another day; sort out the mess that was their lives. But this was an opportunity that might not come ever again and for right now, it was just them and nothing in the world but hope.

She took the top this time as she straddled him, fitting perfectly into his lap. He sat up, his arms around her waist and he pulled her closer to him, breathing in her familiar scent.

No matter how many girls he's been with, it had never felt like this with anybody else. That should make sense. She was the little girl he'd known when he was under her father's wing, the beautiful heroin of Ishval and his most trusted friend.

She was his everything.

Desperate to feel every inch of her skin, he slid his hands to touch the line of her stomach; her bare skin held goosebumps and the feel of his hand on her body made Riza want to just lose it. His rough hands, the hands of a soldier, the hands of fire were igniting her insides.

She kissed him roughly and her hair slid over her right side, hitting him in the face. He paid no mind however; he was too focused on her body. His hand travelled up higher, fingering the rim of her belly button and causing a delectable moan to escape from her.

"That's a beautiful sound, you know."

"What is?" Her husky voice asked.

"Just…you."

His fingers reach up further to the bottom of her bra, where his hand just rested. He didn't want to push anything or make her feel uncomfortable.

She was anything but and the feel of his warm hand gave her a certain comfort. So she removed her hands that had been resting on his shoulders and slowly put them on the bottom of her shirt. He raised an eyebrow but kept his hands stationed on her bra.

She raised her top up and over her head, tossing it to fall on the armchair, revealing her bright blue bra.

"Colourful? I never pegged you for a colourful type." He teased. His eyes trailed up her flat stomach, the bare naked skin practically glowed and he saw a little beauty mark just underneath her belly button. He lent down towards it and gave it a quick kiss.

"Beautiful." He murmured. She wrapped her hands in his hair again and dragged his head up to meet hers, kissing him gently.

Although he had seen her naked before, this time it was under new circumstances and he wanted to take her all in, even if she was only half naked. His hand traced up along her back, to the familiar tattoo, covered halfway by the bra. He brought his mouth to her neck again, this time intending to give her pleasure instead of a tickling attack.

"P-please." She stuttered as his lips caressed her neck.

"What do you want, Lieutenant?"

"Y-you."

* * *

"Havoc, this is the dumbest fucking idea you've ever had."

"Shut up, Breda. You are just complaining because you are on the bottom."

The window, being two stories high was pretty reachable for someone with a ladder. Havoc's brilliant idea was making Breda the ladder. Jean balanced on Breda's hefty shoulders, using the apartment wall for stability.

"Move to the left! We need to get to the window!"

"I'm not a fucking balance beam, dick. It takes time to walk with your heavy ass on my shoulders."

Kain and Fuery sat off on a patch of grass, watching the disaster unfold before them. Breda was waddling to the left side so Havoc was head high with the window and it was a perfect opportunity to peer in.

"Ten Bucks says Havoc falls and breaks a leg." Kain muttered.

"I say an arm. Deal?"

"Deal?"

"What if they are in his bedroom? This just shows his living room."

"It's the best idea I got! So shut up and lift me higher! Yeah perfect. Okay…let me see…holy shit. Holy shit. HOLY SHIT. THEY'RE MAKING OUT, THEY'RE MAKING OUT! MAYDAY MAYDAY! BREDA YOU OWE ME TEN BUCKS, THE LIEUTENANT IS WEARING A COLOURFUL BRA TONIGHT! HOLY SHIT, THEY ARE REALLY GOING AT IT."

"It's not porn, Havoc. Just hurry up and get them to stop! It's too soon for them to be all lovey dovey!"

"What am I suppose to do? They're like animals!"

"Knock on the window!"

So Havoc gave one, very loud, very hard knock on the glass window, making a large noise.

"SHIT GET ME DOWN, I DON'T WANT THEM TO SEE IT WAS ME! SHIT BREDA, AW SHITTTTT!"

And down went Havoc.

* * *

**A/N: Hope you guys liked it. I like reviews and I like nice people.**


	13. The Confession

**A/N – This is short and absolute shit, I'm so sorry guys, I will have better chapters when I'm not slaving around in school. I just put this together because a lot of people have been asking for it on tumblr and I didn't want to disappoint! **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except for my thoughts which don't usually make sense k cool**

**Chapter 13: The Confession**

"What was that?" Riza stuttered, her body aligning itself into an alarmed stance on top of him. Her hands quickly covered her bra and she looked at the glass window.

"I don't know, let me check." Roy made a move to lift her off of him and she stopped him.

"I can check. I'm a very capable woman you know."

He smirked. "Yeah, I know."

She grinned and scampered off of him, grabbing her shirt and pulling it over her body. She could almost hear the whimper coming from Roy as she became fully clothed once again and she shot him a look.

She got to the window and put her hand over it. There wasn't a crack on it anywhere, so whatever hit it didn't make too much of an impact. She peered down towards the floor below her, seeing darkness and nothing but the outline of some grass and some very large trees. But other than that there was nothing.

"I can't identify what it was, sir."

"Probably just come kids throwing rocks. C'mere."

She turned back around to face him in his position on the floor, his legs sprawled straight out in front of him and he supported himself by leaning back on his arms. He looked quite adorable, if she did say so herself.

"We should probably talk, eh Colonel?" She knew the moment between them had passed. It was time to sort out whatever was happening with them. They needed to face it head on.

He nodded, silently. Both of them rearing in for the conversation that was about to take place. It was long overdue. She walked over to him and sat down in front of him. He pulled his legs in and sat in the same position she was in. They faced in each, memorizing everything, waiting for one of them to start.

"What's wrong with us?" Roy said with a chuckle, as if he couldn't believe what the last couple days had brought.

"I wish I knew sir."

He sighed. "What does this all mean Lieutenant? What did you mean you've been waiting since you were 16?"

She rubbed her eyes. "I mean, I said that in the heat of the moment, It was just something…I mean…you are a infuriating man you kno-"

He grabbed her hand and limply held it in between their bodies. He calmed her rambling down and her mouth zipped shut.

"Riza, please. Just talk to me."

His big doe eyes melted her heart and she caved, with a big sigh, she said. "Do you remember the first time we met? When you had come begging my father to let you be his apprentice and he turned you down about six times."

"Hey, it was only five times!"

She rolled her eyes. "And you waltzed into my kitchen, furious as ever. And I was there, cooking some dinner for my father."

"Oh right, and I scared you half to death. I'm sure you pulled a knife on me."

"No I didn't! You're exaggerating!"

His eyes widened. "No I'm not! You did pull a knife!"

"Well, you were a stranger in my house! You could've been a thief for all I know! It was self defense…Anyway, when you explained who you were and what you wanted and I eventually put the knife down, I just…I saw something in your eyes…like a spark. You wanted to learn from my father so badly. It was all fire in your eyes and I've never seen someone so passionate about something before…someone so passionate about helping people."

He watched her intently as she explained her story. He had no idea that she thought this about him, hell he barely knew he thought it himself.

"Anyways, do you remember what I told you?"

He smiled and nodded. "You said, 'giving up is never the answer. If you want something so bad, bad enough to change your entire world for it, then you need to grasp it, hold on tight to it and never let it slip out of your grasp."

She nodded, a blush forming at her cheeks as she realized that he remember the whole thing, her heart warmed and little butterflies formed in the pit of her stomach.

"Well…I guess you could say...that, I mean, that's the way I see you. Or feel...about uh…you"

Why was this so hard? She was Riza Hawkeye, first freaking Lieutenant and she couldn't even express her feelings to a dumb boy.

"I'm sorry. That was really inappropriate sir. I just…I shouldn't have said that. I'm just under a lot of stress right now, with this stupid bet and just...sorry."

Yet you couldn't slap the stupid grin off of his face. His eyes twinkles as the realization of what his Lieutenant was saying really dawned on him. She liked him. A lot.

"Riza, look at me."

She didn't lift her eyes.

"Please?"

Slowly, her brown eyes rose up onto his now glowing face.

"Riza, why have you kept this in until now?" His hand still clamped around hers, the contact calming her down.

"Sir there's no denying here that you aren't exactly a one woman kind of man. I prefer to keep my heart from being snapped in two. I got as close to you as I could without initiating any kind of relationship besides the perfect solider and her fearless leader."

He hated that she thought of him that way.

"Riza, of all the people I've ever been with or seen…you're the last person on earth whose heart I would ever break. You have to know that. You mean too much to me."

She smiled. "It's my job to protect you sir. Not the other way around."

"That may be so, but I still couldn't live without you."

"Please don't say things like that if you don't mean them, I can't take it."

He raised his left hand to stroke her cheek, a slight tear forming in her eye, from happiness, from nervousness, from everything. This didn't seem real to her and she wanted it to last for as long as it could.

"I'm sorry if this is to forward…or scary. I just, it's been a lot to hold in for a long time."

"This whole bet...?"

She let out a sad smile, "Seeing you with all those women…I don't know. It's slowly been decaying me from the inside for such a long time. They all get a part of you that I don't. I just thought the bet would…help. Stupid right?"

"You're never stupid. I didn't mean to hurt you."

"I know you didn't."

"So you joined the military, the Isvhal war, for…?

She smiled. "Well, there's someone I need to protect."

He chuckled, not quite believing everything that was happening.

"So…you like me, huh?"

She shoved his shoulder. "Don't make it sound like that."

"Like what?" He asked, innocently.

"Like I'm a child with a crush."

"No, you're an adult with a crush."

She shoved him again, rather roughly. He squirmed and let out a small whine.

"Don't make me regret saying any of this."

He smiled at her, loving how he could get her angry so fast. "Hey, with the sexual tension between us the last couple days, I'm surprised you've been able to hold it in."

"Hey! You're not that irresistible Roy Mustang! I'm one of the only females who can keep it in her pants around you. Give me some credit, I'm not one of those hussies that you seem to be so used to!"

"Naw, you're a bit better than them."

"A BIT!?"

"Okay, okay, a lot. You're kinder, gentler, fiercer, beautifuler."

"That's not a word."

He shrugged. "You get the point."

She smiled. "No, I don't think I do. Please tell me again what you think of me sir."

He swung his legs underneath himself so he was propped up on his knees, he didn't drop her hand the whole time. He lent his forehead closer to hers, trying to get comfortable so he could let her know what he really thought of this beautiful woman.

"Since the moment I met you, Ms Hawkeye, I knew you weren't going to be an easy one to crack."

"What does that m-"

He held up his hand to silence her. "Let me finish. I've figured you out. I know you are a tough, independent, courageous, beautiful, charming, little angry-" that received a slap from her. "Ow…woman."

"So what does that mean, sir?"

He was about to respond but a sharp ring from the telephone broke through his thoughts and their gaze tore from each other, glancing towards his bedroom. With a reluctant sigh, he jumped up to his feet and angrily picked up the phone.

"Hello?"

"Is this Colonel Mustang?" A deep, dark voice cut through from the other line. Roy's brow furred as he tried to connect the voice to a name or a face.

"Yes."

"I have a message for you. Stay away from Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye. The higher authorities are watching. You know the law."

And the line went dead, just like Mustang's heart.

What was that? Who could possibly know about the Lieutenant and him, especially since he hadn't known it himself? The military was always watching, he of people should know the power that they had

Breaking the fraternization law…that was considered a serious offense.

She could lose her job and he wouldn't be able to stand that. He wouldn't want to be the reason she lost everything. If they ever got caught, it would be the end for both of them.

He knew he had to end what hadn't even begun.

* * *

"Do you think it's safe?" Havoc cried, cradling his now broken arm. Breda and Havoc scaled the bottom of the house, making sure they were invisible from above, if either the Colonel or the Lieutenant decided to open the window and peer out.

Falman and Fuery had bolted from the scene of the crime, leaving a now wounded Havoc and an out of breath Breda.

"Breda, why the fuck are you breathing so heavy? We didn't even run anywhere!"

Breda began to fan himself. "I know man, but fuck, these situations make me nervous. If they knew we saw them…or that we're trying to break them up…and then get them back together…dude why the fuck are we breaking them up again?"

Havoc shrugged. "Think about it logically. They have like a billion dates to go, the longer the dates are, the longer they fight over paperwork and the longer they fight, the longer it'll take for there to be a winner."

"That means less paperwork for us either way! They'll be too concerned with each other!"

"You've got it my genius friend! Now take me to a fucking hospital before I die."

Breda rolled his eyes, poking his head out to see if Riza or Roy was glancing around still. "Nobody dies from a broken arm fuckup, let's get out of here. Where did Falman and Fuery go?"

"I don't know, they bolted as soon as I slammed the glass. You could hear the girly scream of Vato."

"He's so scared of the Lieutenant."

"Bro we all are…we all are."

They walked along side each other, Havoc with a slight limp from also falling on his leg and having Breda almost step on him. He would definitely have to get a cast, he hated casts. He had broken his arm so many times, it was ridiculous.

"There you guys are!" A quite Kain announced, seeing Breda and Havoc limping towards them, down the street.

"You owe me twenty Fuery. He broke his arm!"

"I thought it was only ten!"

"Yeah, but he has a limp too, that's twenty."

Kain rolled his eyes, not sure what sense Vato was making."Here, take it. I'm poor anyways, what's being down twenty bucks."

"You dicks made a bet on me getting hurt?"

The both nodded. "Of course we did."

"Dicks. Now get me to a hospital. I just pray that they didn't see it was us, or we are in for a whooping tomorrow morning."

* * *

**A/N – I hope you guys don't totally hate this chapter, it is really shit. Also, I wanted to thank you guys for all the response I've been getting. It's really lovely and warms my heart.**

**So drop a review if you wish, I love em! **


	14. The Realization

**A/N – Looks like I'm getting back on track here, promise. So many royai moments you don't even know what's coming up. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Promise. **

**Chapter 14: The Realization **

As Mustang walked back towards his Lieutenant who was still piled on the floor of his apartment, he knew that deep in his heart, there was no way he could let her go. Especially since he just got her and barely at that.

Despite the dammed phone call he just received and the possibility of losing the only job they've ever known, in the end, he knew she would be worth it. To be entangled with a woman like her, his heart even began to thump erratically at the idea.

"Sir? What was it?" Her innocent voice rang out, interrupting his thoughts of blissful happiness of the life they could share together.

"If I tell you, you have to promise to let me know what you're thinking, okay. No more shutting down. Promise?"

She nodded sharply, her eyebrows rose up, trying to come up with possible scenarios, hoping it was anything but bad news.

"A rather deep voiced fellow was on the other end, telling me to..stay away from you."

Her eyes widened. "Stay away from me? Dear lord, all we've done is kiss and people are already jumping down our throats."

Roy stumbled down so he was eye level with her. She bit her lip, a nervous habit that she picked up from her father, and try to figure out what he was thinking.

"Well, they said to remember the fraternization laws. The higher authorities were watching."

The blood drained from her already pale face. "Sir, that means…oh no…they could have you fired if they found out about my feelings towards you! I shouldn't have acted on them. I can't allow you to lose your job, not after you've worked so hard. You need to reach the title of f-"

He held up a hand to stop her., a light smile dancing on his lips. Typical reaction from his darling Lieutenant, she was always worried about him and never about herself. Her job was just at much at stake here, as was his.

"Riza, I'm not worried about me. I'm worried about you. I don't want you to lose your job because of me."

She rolled her eyes. "You're a doofus."

"What? Why!"

"The only reason I have that job is so I can protect you! That's the most important thing in the world to me, making sure you are alive to fight the next day! Alive to become the leader of this country!"

He smirked, quite proud that he had this beautiful woman looking out for him. Without her, he would be mucking around in his own stupidity.

"Well, if you get fired, that will mean that you are no longer my bodyguard. That means you won't BE there to protect me. You're the doofus." He retorted, in a joking manner. She punched him lightly in the arm.

"Ow."

"Suck it up."

"Make me."

She stuck her tongue out at him in a childish manner and he leaned forward, snapping his teeth as if to bite her tongue. She pulled her tongue back in her mouth quickly and began to laugh.

"We are such children. We can't even stay focused long enough to talk about our future."

"So…you do you want a future? With me, I mean."

She rolled her eyes again. "If that whole confession before wasn't enough for you, then I don't know what will be. There won't be another man in my life, Colonel. Except for Black Hayate of course". He chuckled heartedly.

"I think…I sort of like you." Roy finally said, realizing he hadn't given her the proper announcement she needed of his feelings towards her. "A lot."

Her big brown eyes filled with hope as she smiled largely, her white teeth gleaming and her eyes twinkled with a sign of hope. "You do… like me?"

He nodded. "Very much. I think, in a way, it's always been you. Ever since we were children. Nobody's ever made me feel the way that you do." He raised a hand and pushed her bangs out of her eyes, winding his hand in her tangled hair and he brought his face closer to hers.

"That was very cheesy." She said with a chuckle, her face imitating his movement.

"Yeah, but you loved it." Yes, she really did.

He kissed her, very softly as if it was a promise to both of them. She smiled into his lips and he grinned back. It was a moment of serenity and what seemed like minutes later, they pulled away, reeling in for the next conversation.

"So what do we do now, Roy?"

He sighed. "I haven't really thought that far ahead, Riza. I was just living in the moment."

"Colonel, this is serious."

"I know, sorry. I'm just happy being here with you right now."

"Oh yeah?"

"Mhm."

She gave him a quick energetic peck on the lips and they both smiled at one another, a deep blush forming on both of their cheeks. They may have both had a lot of experience (well Roy anyway) in dealing with the opposite sex, but this truly was a whole new feeling for both of them.

"What if, we kept it a secret?" Roy murmured after a while.

"They already knew about us and we just expressed our feelings tonight. How long do you think we will really have before they know?"

"We'll be extra stealthy, I know you're good at that."

"I'm a sniper, not a ninja."

He chuckled. "I know. But think about it. We go on like nothing has changed. We go to work, get into danger, go on the rest of those stupid dates and then have secret meetings at night." He whispered into her ear, grabbing her hand and pulling her towards him.

"Nightly meetings? Hmmm, I can do that." She whispered back to him, gently leaning in and nipping at his neck, teasing him. He bit back a groan and tried really hard to stay focused on the task at hand. She was pushed into a new set of self confidence, it was bursting through her and she felt more courageous now, knowing that he liked her just as much. Their relationship had now taken a whole new toll and she was completely ready, as long as he would be walking beside her the whole time.

Her heart drummed in her ears and she looked nervously at him. She had wanted this for so long. She had needed him and he had needed her. It warmed her heart that he was willing to go to extremes just to be with her. He was risking his job, his life, just to be hers.

"Is this real? I'm not going to just sleep with you and let you walk all over me, you know?" She warned him, just letting him know where she stood. She pointed a finger at his chest and gave him a glare.

He shot his hands up in surrender."I wouldn't dream of that. You are much more than a sexual plaything. Although the sexual part could be-."

"Don't finish that sentence, Colonel. You won't be getting in my pants that easy."

He grinned. "Although, if you want to get technical, I've already 'been' in your pants."

She rolled her eyes. "Pervert."

"Yeah, but now I'm your pervert."

"What joy."

He kissed her forehead lightly, his lips lingering on her skin. She shivered at the contact and it brought back a sense of familiarity.

"Do you remember the first time you kissed my head, at my father's grave? You made me feel like such a child."

He laughed and pulled her onto his lap, his chin resting on her shoulder and her back was pressed up against his stomach. "Well, I was going off to be a big bad military man. I thought I was so tough and …manly."

She snorted. "Manly huh? What happened."

"Aren't we full of jokes, tonight?" He gathered his arms around her in a tight embrace.

"Are you flexing your arms around me so I can feel your muscles?"

"…is it working."

She laughed really hard and shook her head and he pouted. She sat up from her comfy spot and turned to look him in the eyes.

"I should probably leave. The boys are probably wondering what is taking me so long. We don't want to give them any ideas, sir."

"You better drop the sir when we're in private, Riza. It's too professional for what we have going."

She nodded. "And you're sure about this sir. I want you more than anything, but if you lose your job because of me, I couldn't handle it."

"You're more important than any job and I'm sorry it's taken me this long to realize that I need you. I was truly a useless idiot."

She shook her head. "No you weren't. I'm your subordinate, it would only make sense that you think of me as a worker and a friend, nothing more."

"See, that is just it. I think I've always felt something for you, I just never wanted to admit it for myself. You were the unobtainable daughter of my master. It was always hard to think of you in any other way, even when Ishval…when I saw you again, I just knew that I needed to keep you as close to me as I could. And so when you were willing to work under my command, well, it made me feel ten times better having you beside me. I think I just decided to drown my feelings in booze and bimbos instead of facing reality."

"Well, I'm glad you finally faced it then."

"Me too."

She gave him another kiss and leapt to her feet, not wanting to leave him yet desperate to go home and scream into her pillow from happiness.

"This means we can't tell anybody, right Roy?"

"Best not. We can't have this getting out. No telling your little twerp friend Rebecca!"

"What is with you and Rebecca! She is a lovely friend."

"And a loud mouth w-"

She smacked a hand over his lips and glared at him. "I get it, we tell nobody!"

She kissed her hand that was divided between his lips and hers and she walked towards the door of his apartment, gathering her belongings (and her precious hawk clip) and swung open the door.

"Was that my kiss goodbye?" He whimpered.

"Just because we've known each other for a very long time doesn't mean I don't need to be treated like a lady. I haven't even had my first date with you yet." And she laughed at his expression as she waltzed out the door, closing it gently behind her.

"I can't even take her on proper date! Oh that woman…."

* * *

The next morning, all the original members of team Mustang sat silently around the work space, each person replying the different events that occurred the night before. When Hawkeye had gotten home, she could hardly contain herself and she acted very unhawkeye-like. She was dancing and singing all over her apartment, happy with the way the events turned out.

Roy's face lit up as she walked into the office this morning, but then quickly looked down to avoid any suspicion in from his subordinates. She avoided his gaze, fear that she might not have the self control to stay away. She had to admit that keeping this thing a secret was going to be very hard yet very fun.

Havoc on the other hand, told a ridiculous lie about how he was helping save a cat in a tree when an old lady took a shot at him from the sidewalk, causing him to fall from the tree and drop the cat who ran into its elderly master's arms.

Yet no one can find out where that damn old lady lives. Roy and Riza didn't think too much into it, figured he broke his arm by doing something stupid. Falman, Breda and Fuery spent the entire night with Havoc, who was being an extreme baby about getting a cast. They stayed almost the entire night at the hospital until Breda began to fall asleep standing up, which led him to falling over, knocking a load of medical supplies off the doctor's table.

So they all left after that, Havoc trailing along behind with a very shitty cast on his broken arm.

So everybody was quiet, whether it be from happiness, pain or lack of sleep.

Oh, and there was the fact that Havoc saw Riza dry humping the Colonel. He tried to see some sort of awkward moments or embarrassing looks between them today, but so far, they had barely glanced at each other. It was all too normal for it to be….normal.

"What's the scoreboard at for the bet?" Havoc asked Fuery

"Oh, right. That's what I wanted to talk about. Do you count yesterdays win as one point each?"

"I believe so, Fuery. Two dates, two victories." answered the Colonel. Riza didn't even care about arguing that he deserved them. The sooner somebody won this thing, the better.

"It is, 3 to 2 for the Lieutenant."

"Tonight's date is going to be a good one. I need to brief you two before I send you off though." Falman stated as it was his turn to pick the dates.

"You guys always say the dates are going to be good and they never are. Speaking of which, BREDA, WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING WITH THOSE TWO DATES LAST NIGHT!"

Breda had cowered underneath his paperwork, the Colonel's booming voice had woke him up from a tiny nap he had been taking.

"I-I'm so sorry, Colonel Lord Mustang, it was a bad date. Bad date."

"Did you just call me Lord?"

Havoc chimed in. "He's a little sleep deprived sir, he had a rough night."

Roy rolled his eyes. "Falman, give me and the Lieutenant the information we need."

Falman nodded and whipped out two slips of paper. He handed one to Riza and one to Roy. "This is the address you guys are both going too. Your dates will be there. Colonel, sir. Your date will be wearing a long red dress, brunette , reaaaalllly hot and Lieutenant, yours will be wearing a black and white dress coat."

She glared. "Sure, he gets the reaaaalllly hot girl and I get a guy who dresses like a clown. Perfect."

Falman continued, ignoring his superior officer's protests. "You need to make sure you bring something to the house. Like a bottle of wine. Yeah, that'll work."

Roy and Riza gave each other confused looks but both agreed. Falman returned back to his seat and everyone continued on with their work. Havoc, curious as a cat, bounced over to sit next to Vato.

"Yo, what the hell kind of date is this?"

Falman turned bright red, trying to keep in his laughter and whisper at the same time. "Let's just say, they are going to skin me alive after it."

* * *

**A/N - Yay or nay. ROYAI WANTS TO BE A COUPLE. I promise it will not get boring with them, I have things planned. But they want to be with each other yay**

**I love reviews so leave em if you'd like! **


	15. The Car Ride

**A/N – I hope you guys like this one. I also hope I didn't scare people off by putting Riza and Roy together. It's only going to add to the story, so I hope you guy stick around!**

**Disclaimer: Nothing is mine.**

**Chapter 15: The Car Ride**

"Hey, Colonel, you got a little something in your pupil."

"Shut up Havoc."

"You know, I never realized how black your eyes really are. I mean, right about now they look all watery and red and gross."

"You…will not…get me...to…BLINK!"

Mustang strained his voice along with his eyes as he and his subordinate battled through a friendly game of the good old fashion staring contest.

"MY EYES ARE STARTING TO BURN HERE." Roy cried out, desperate not to let Havoc win this. His hand twitched, wanting nothing more than to rub his eyeballs. Havoc snorted with laughter, yet his eyesight remained perfectly still, no water damage anywhere to be seen. Havoc's cigarette hung lightly out of his mouth and the rising smoke made it even worse for Mustang to concentrate.

"Come on, Colonel. Are you gonna take shit from this little dick weed?" Breda piped in.

"Breda…he's too good…I can't hold on."

"Colonel, you can do this." Breda said, his voice resembled that of a wrestling coach. "I have faith in you, come on."

"Just give up." Havoc smug face lit up the room. Roy's hand gripped the table, his eyes burning. Usually, the flame alchemist would jump at the opportunity for fire. But in the case of his eyesight, he would rather keep it flame free.

"WHAT ARE YOU BOYS DOING!" The hawk's voice cawed out of nowhere. Havoc looked away and rapidly blinked at the oncoming Lieutenant, scared out of his mind.

"HA! YOU BLINKED!" Roy said, his voice happily stated and he threw his hands up in the air, out of a victorious game. Havoc let out a small whine and sulked on the floor where he had fallen out of his chair when Riza came in.

"I was gone for five minutes! I just went to get a coffee! I can't believe you two."

"Come on Lieutenant! I did win, don't rain on my parade." Roy smirked, trying to cheer her up for pissing her off, he did feel bad and he also wanted to see her smile. It didn't work.

"In all honesty sir, beating Havoc in anything isn't that hard." She gave him a sarcastic smile. Havoc watched the two from the ground and growled. They were talking about him like he wasn't even there.

"Oh, you think so Lieutenant?"

"I know so."

They just grinned at each other, teasing. It was like they had their own language. Every smile had a different meaning and she had to admit, he gave her major butterflies.

"Then you face him."

She rolled her eyes. He was so predictable; she was already prepared to face Havoc.

"I think I will sir."

Havoc stumbled to a standing position. "Hey! Don't I have a say in this! I don't want to face Hawkeye, she's a freaking sniper. They, like, never blink."

Mustang took his turn to roll his eyes. "Fine, you big baby, I'll face her."

"This is going to be good." Falman said, as he, Fuery, Breda and Havoc all gathered around the large table, Hawkeye sitting on one end with Roy on the other.

"On the count of three," said Fuery. "1...2…3!"

Both eyes shot open to stare at each other. The familiar mix of colour between the eyes gave Roy a certain hope of winning. She may be a sniper, but he loved looking at her. This was not going to be easily lost for either of them.

Seconds ticked away as Hawkeye's eyes twinkled. His eyes were one of her favourite things and she couldn't help but smile whole heartedly at him. Her heart thumped hard in her chest and she wanted nothing more than to take her Colonel and kiss him hard on the table in front of them.

He raised an eyebrow, as if hearing what she was thinking. A light blush rose to her cheeks and she cleared her throat as if to shrug any of her feelings off. They couldn't risk the boys thinking something was up with them, much less that they were interested in each other.

30 seconds passed and Hawkeye could see Roy's face begin to crinkle, trying to ease the pain away from the upper part of his head. He raised his eyebrows up and down, like he airing away the burning sensation.

"What's wrong, Colonel? You're eyes look a little strange."

"Shut up, Breda. I thought you were on my side."

"No way, Hawkeye's got this in the bag."

"Traitor."

And just like that, his eyes gave out on him.

"Shit."

"That's one for me sir. Good try."

And she got up from the seat she was in and sauntered over to her desk. "Now, do your work. We have a date to look forward to."

He snorted. As if he could ever be into going on a date with someone that wasn't Hawkeye.

* * *

The ringing of her doorbell stopped Hawkeye short as she was putting on the last of her make-up. She dressed fancier than usual, more for the Colonel then for whatever date Falman had picked. In a way, it was like their first date…well at least for a few seconds of alone time they were going to get.

She finished her mascara and put it down, hushing Hayate as he barked away at the door.

"Hello, pretty lady."

She smiled at Roy, who was holding a very large bouquet of flowers.

"These better not be for me, Roy."

"Of course not, you get much more than flowers."

"Oh, and what's that?"

"Me."

That received a small laugh from her and then an invitation for him to enter.

"I'd figured we could carpool and go down together...it saves money...and we get to be alone, even if it's just for a little bit."

He set the flowers down and raised his eyes to her outfit, taking all of her in. She blushed fiercely and gazed upon his outfit as well. He looked very handsome, all clean cut and muscular. His hair was combed and his cologne entered her nostrils.

They walked towards each other, breathing in each other. They stopped just inches from each other.

"Do you mind if I kiss you?" Riza said, out of the blue, receiving a surprising gasp from Roy. He loved that about her, her forwardness.

"That's one thing I will never say no to."

And she practically launched herself into his arms, her lips tangling with his and both were trying very hard not to ruin their appearances because after everything, they still needed to be careful with what they did.

Any evidence of them being entangled could result in more phone calls from creepy anonymous man and they couldn't risk it.

She broke the kiss off, breathing into his mouth, trying to catch her breath back.

"I've wanted to do that all day." He whispered to her and she nodded, understanding exactly where he was coming from. It was hard, when you are with someone and it's a new experience, yet you can't have the 'honeymoon' side of things.

They were going to have to settle for what they could give and get.

"Where are the boys?" Hawkeye wondered out loud. She knew that they usually tagged along to these dates to make sure that nobody was cheating.

"They are meeting us there, don't worry. I guess we should go, huh?"

"Do we have to?"

He laughed and kissed the tip of her nose. "It's going to kill me seeing with anybody that's not me, you know."

"Right back at you, tiger. Now, let's go get em." She gave him one last lingering kiss, waved goodbye to Hayate and they walked out the front door, hand in hand.

…But only for a little while.

The drive to the address had started out to be a loving one. The young couple lived in their blissful happiness of having twenty minutes alone in the car together, to sweet talk each other and steal kisses here and there. And suddenly, as they got closer to their destination, Riza's mind began to wander. When the silence had reached its capacity, she broke it.

"Roy?"

"Yes, Riza." He answered, holding her right hand in his and kissing the back of it.

"Is this weird?"

He looked at her from the passenger side, his eyes questioning what she meant.

"…Us?"

His heart stumbled in his chest as he thought about the reasoning for the sudden questions. Was she having doubts about them?

"I think it's the complete opposite."

"Well…What if you…I don't know picked the wrong woman?"

He laughed. "Picked the wrong woman? Riza, we aren't married."

Her body tensed up and she snatched her hand away from his. "I'm aware we aren't married. But stupid me was thinking that maybe there was only going to be two in this relationship, not me, you and you're band of hussies."

"Band of hussies?! Wait a second, Riza-"

"Sorry for asking."

"Wait a second, wait a second, where did this come from?" He lent forward, to catch a glimpse at her face as she had a stern look on and was focusing on the road.

"I was just...thinking."

"Thinking about what?"

"Well what if you waltz into that house tonight and fall over the first girl you see. I know, I'm being so stupid and I am never insecure, it's just…I am when I'm with you."

"Why are you insecure around me?" His voice was full of shock and it directed to the woman beside him. She had to know that there was never a reason to feel insecure around him. He was all hers and vice versa.

"I just don't want to lose you, you mean too much to me and I don't want to lose you as a friend, boss, boyfriend-"she finally said, after a few moments of silence.

"Boyfriend huh?"

And just like that, her face zipped back into solider mode as she fought embarrassment. "Sorry, sir! I only meant boyfriend as if…I didn't mean to insinuate anything."

He laughed quiet loudly. "Please don't do that."

"What?"

"Apologize like I am your Colonel."

"But you are my Colonel."

"Yes, but I'm also you're boyfriend."

Her heart danced in her chest and she resisted the urge to pull the car over and kiss the crap out of him. So she settled for a grin from ear to ear, one that he returned. He ran his hand over her blonde mane, tucking loose strands behind her ear.

"I'm sorry about what I said before. It was a stupid retort. I just don't want you questioning us. This is right. I've never been more sure about anything in my entire life." He said to her.

"Good."

"Good."

She slipped her hand gently into his again and he leaned back in satisfaction, the feel of her rough hands against his burnt ones.

They made quite a couple.

* * *

They arrived at the address Falman gave them a few minutes later. Now was the hard part.

They had to forget the last two days, forget that the kisses and the hand holding and the butterflies.

And just remember to put on an act.

"This is a huge house," Roy said as Riza pulled the car into the driveway. It was a mansion, no doubt about it. Roy's face pressed up against the window of the car as he drooled a little.

"Men." She muttered and her eyes scanned her surroundings. There were loads of cars parked in the driveway already and she realized that they were at a party. She grabbed the wine bottles she got as gifts for their hosts, one for Roy and one for her, and proceeded to get out of the car.

"Let's go sir. You can look at the pretty house from inside."

He got out of the car and nodded, beginning to walk towards the house.

"One more thing, Lieutenant."

"Yes sir?"

And he gave her a quick peck on the lips, almost so soft; she didn't know if it had really happened.

"Let's go." And she trailed behind her Colonel, all the way up the cobblestoned steps and onto the front porch,

They could hear voices coming from inside the house and Riza reached over and rang the doorbell. Seconds later, a middle aged red headed clown…or what looked to be a clown by the amount of makeup she was wearing, answered the door. She got one look at Roy and a twinkle appeared in her eye.

"Well, hello gorgeous. You must be Falman's friend, why don't you come on in. We're just about to get started." She snatched the gifts out of their hands and RIza widened her eyes at the rudeness of the woman to her.

The red head turned around and began walking into the house. Roy turned to Riza and mouthed 'getting started for what?'

She shrugged her shoulders and took off her coat, leaning it gently on the couch. She looked around the room as the 40 or so people gathered into the living room and her eyes froze, coming to a complete stop as she saw exactly what Falman had pushed them into and what that red head was referring to.

"Oh…good god."

"What's wrong Lieutenant?"

"I know exactly what we'll be getting started with."

He looked at her with curiosity and she, cringing, pointed to somewhere behind his head. He spun around and regretted it almost instantly.

There, in front of everyone, were two young people having rough looking sexual intercourse on top of a large glass table.

Riza covered her eyes with her hands, to hide her from their nonexistent shame, as everybody else went about their day, mingling. Nobody seemed fazed by it, at all.

And slowly, both she and Roy realized where they were.

They were at a fucking swinger's party.

A fucking old people's orgy.

* * *

**A/N – I apologize for making Riza seem like the worried girlfriend, because she is one of the strongest female leads in anything. I just felt like it needed to be done, so hopefully it wasn't too out of character for you guys.**

**Anyways, thanks for reading, you guys are awesome, drop me a review would ya? **


	16. The Loud Mouth

**A/N – Okay, so I finally updated. Whew. To the person asking what the swinger's party is, well most of them are literally a bunch of legal adults coming together for some fun. Doesn't necessarily mean sex, but most of the time…it involves it.**

**Disclaimer: Not mine. **

**Chapter 16: The Loud Mouth**

"Falman?"

"Yeah Havoc?"

"Where in the hell did you bring us?"

The foursome parked in the dark driveway, staring up at the mansion in front of them, drooling over the glorious life of the rich.

Falman snickered at the boy's reaction to the house, he had known it would have some kind of effect on them; they were a sucker for pretty things.

"It's just a place I knew."

Three heads turned to look at Falman who was seated in the back next to Fuery. Their eyes filled with questions that Falman knew he couldn't avoid.

"Okay, let's just say the incident of Breda's idiot choice of a date for them gave me an idea."

Before questions could be fired at him, the front door of the house swung open, revealing an older lady who wasn't taking it easy on the makeup. Her breasts pushed up against her chest, not leaving much to the imagination.

"What is that?" Havoc asked, his eyebrows rising as he caught a glance at the lady.

"I think it's a…girl?" Kain answered him, watching her whip out a smoke and take a long drag on the patio of the house. The boys had their eyes glued to her, not sure if they should be turned on or scared.

"But look at her...she looks like…a milf clown."

Falman chuckled, enjoying this thoroughly. "That's Marie. She helps coordinate the parties."

"That's it! What the hell kind of party Falman?" Breda said, turning back to look away from Marie and towards Vato, a deep gut feeling told him that this was not the kind of party they would regularly want to be at.

"Okay, I pulled some strings…called some people… had a swinger's party arranged."

"A WHAT!?" Cried the three boys, two seconds away from passing out. The last thing the gang needed was old people doing it in front of other…old people.

"How the fuck do you even know people who run swingers parties. God you're a pervert." Breda said, his face crunching into a disgusted mask.

"I DON'T ATTEND THEM! I just know people…"

"What people?"

"Nobody…"

"Falman…"

"IT'S A FAMILY BUISNESS OKAY! MARIE IS MY COUSIN!"

Havoc's jaw dropped, Breda's eye twitched and Fuery turned a deep shade of purple.

"Ew."

"What! It's not like I chose my family. Plus, you're one to talk Breda. Do you need a reminder of the last date?"

Breda huffed. "Fine, I get it. Families are crazy and overrated. But shit bro, a swingers party? Mustang and Hawkeye are gonna have a fit."

Falman shrugged. "Well, wasn't the whole point of this stupid bet in the first place? To try and bring them closer together! Nothing says bonding like watching the elderly have-"

"Don't finish that sentence," warned Kain. "I'm going to be sick."

"IF YOU ARE GOING TO THROW UP, DO IT OUTSIDE!" Havoc yelped, pointing a finger at Fuery.

"We should probably go up anyways." Falman said.

Demon heads spun around to glare at Falman. "You think …we are…going in there?" Breda muttered.

"We have to keep an eye on them, don't we? Come on, it won't be that bad. Swingers parties don't necessarily have to be old people."

"Yeah, well judging by your cousin Marie, we aren't going to have a lively crowd tonight."

Falman rolled his eyes. "Shut up and get out. Just avoid eye contact with the women…or the men for that matter…and you'll be fine!"

With a simultaneous groan, they opened the car doors and jumped out onto the gravel. Slowly and cautiously, they began walking towards the doors of the house.

"I wonder if an old guy was going so hard he had a heart attack at one of these." Havoc wondered out loud.

"Really Havoc, that's what you wonder about?" Breda responded.

"Or maybe they popped an artery or something."

"Well, I guess we'll find out."

* * *

"Don't look at them."

"But it's so hard to look away…"

Riza squeezed her eyes shut and wished she could do the same for her ears as the loud orgasmic moans gathered from the couple in front of them.

"I'm going to hang Falman…and then bring him back to life and then shoot him in the penis."

"That's a very descriptive way to kill someone Lieutenant."

"Well he deserves it. What is with you people and orgies."

Her back faced towards the couple and Roy stood in front of her, trying to keep his eyes off of them but failing miserably.

"Colonel, focus here please." She snapped her fingers in front of his face.

"Sorry, it's just so gross, I can't look away."

She sighed. "What do we do? Do we leave?"

"What about the bet?"

"WHAT ABOUT THE PEOPLE HAVING SEX IN PUBLIC!?"

He took a step back from her, not wanting to get caught in her rage. "Good point. Let's go."

She began walking to the door they had entered in from but was suddenly stopped when she felt a hand on her wrist. Thinking it was Roy, she spun around to tell him to hurry up and stop looking. However, she was faced with a twenty something, blue eyed man with a small smile revealing a straight line of perfect white teeth.

"Are you Mrs. Hawkeye?" His crisp voice asked.

"Yes, that's me. I'm assuming you're the..uh…date." Her gaze wandered around her surroundings as she noticed that more people had begun to follow suit of the previous couple on the table. More moans filled the air and the comfort zone for Riza dropped.

"Yes, my name is Rodrigo." He stuck his hand out to shake hers, she ignored it, not knowing where his hands have been.

"Nice to meet you." She said, but not really meaning it. She was searching around for where Roy had gone as he was behind her a second ago and then suddenly disappeared. She caught sight of him sitting on the cream colored couch, a beautiful brunette sat in front of him, in between his parted legs. He was laughing at something she was saying and a pang of jealousy struck Riza's gut.

_Shit…I knew this would happen, we are e going on dates with other people! Don't be jealous Riza. Get over it._

That was easier said than done as she examined the body language between the two. The brunette ran a hand up his leg while she knelt on the floor and he just couldn't wipe that damn smile off his face.

_That smile is meant to be mine! _She growled internally, not willing to let any of her emotions show on the outside. She turned her attention back to Rodrigo.

"You're a fine looking young man…what brings you to an event such as this?"

He smiled. "It's fun. I mean…Look around."

She laughed. "I rather not."

He chuckled. "No, I just mean look around at the happiness flowing from person to person. It's a nice place for some people to get away and be free for a little bit, you know?"

All too well.

"But does the sex really have to come with the territory of being happy?"

He shrugged. "Let them have their fun."

"So what, you don't come here to have…fun?"

"Very rarely. I like the people's company, most of the time. I'm not saying I don't like sex though."

"Hmm." She brought her gaze back to Roy where the brunette had now taken a seat next to him on the couch.

Ten minutes more, of Rodrigo talking, Riza not listening and the women now on Roy's lap, she finally had enough.

"Rodrigo? Let's go sit over there." She grabbed his hand and pulled him gently towards the couches, planting herself down on the seats directly across from Roy and his date.

"Colonel! Well, there you are! You just disappeared from my side…I want you to meet my date, Rodrigo."

Roy's eye twitched as he sized up his opposition. He was fairly certain this guy could kick his ass in a fist fight and that was not a good thing. He hated when the opponent was stronger than him without alchemy.

"Nice to meet the flame alchemist!"

"Mhm."

"And who's this one hanging off your arm sir?"

"Well this is Brienne. Quite the charmer Falman picked for me."

Brienne smiled at Riza. "It's nice to meet you."

"Mhm. Yeah, you know, Falman picked good for me… Rodrigo's quite the charmer as well." Riza said, completely avoiding Brienne, who giggled.

"Oh I know! Last year's swinger party, we did it doggy style out in the backyard."

Riza's mouth dropped open and Roy's eyes widened at the filter Brienne didn't seem to have locked in her brain. Rodrigo blushed and nodded slightly.

"And now I get the flame alchemist to keep me company tonight! This is going to be…smoking hot."

Riza clenched her first into her shirt to stop herself from clocking the girl in the face. It wasn't her fault and Riza knew it. She just didn't like seeing people latch onto him, especially if they wanted him in a sexual way.

She hadn't even had him in a sexual way, why should anybody else?

Brienne locked her arm into Roy's who kept his eyes on Riza's.

_I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry _his brainwaves tried to send to her. Unfortunately, telepathy seemed to be lost on Riza as she still seemed furious that the young lady held onto him. It's not easy to see the one you're involved with…well involved with someone else.

Riza grabbed Rodrigo's arm, the same position Brienne had hers in and lent her head towards his head. She was willing to take this as far as Roy was willing to go. So, she lent her head down and lightly pecked Rodrigo's neck, causing a groan to emerge from him.

Roy's jaw dropped open and he glared daggers at Riza. _What is she doing!_ He couldn't afford to have her acting stupid out of sheer jealousy, it wasn't like her at all.

_I thought we said jealousy wouldn't get in the way! What am I doing? _Riza asked herself. She knew she was being childish, but that didn't make it hurt any less.

Brienne ran a hand up Roy's inner thigh, grazing closer and closer to his sensitive areas. He watched Riza lean into Rodrigo, so he let Brienne touch him. He grasped out in a painful way as Brienne grabbed a little TOO much of him.

"Sorry, love. You are just so delicious." Her hand remained on his junk, massaging it.

_I've only known her for ten minutes and she already wants to get in my pants. Same old, I guess. _

"Wow, Rodrigo, you are so muscular." Riza said, putting her hand on his biceps. "Very manly."

The queen made a move, time for him to make his.

"Brienne, the color of your eyes just sparkles up the room, such a deep shade of blue." He grabbed her face and held it in his hands, examining her eyes closer up, their faces an inch away.

"Rodrigo, mmm, I've always had a thing for tall men." She said, stroking his chest with her hands.

"Brienne, have I mentioned how much I love brunettes?"

Oh that bastard.

"Rodrigo, tell me again how many times you work out a day."

"Oh, Brienne, tell me again how long it takes you to orgasm."

Riza was fuming, her brow was starting to sweat and she was glaring at Roy now, forgetting all about her actual date_. _

_So that's the direction we are goin in huh_? "Oh, Rodrigo..tell me again…how many times in one day?"

Roy removed Brienne's hand from his arm and lent forward to meet Riza halfway. "Oh Brienne, you've been participating in swinger parties for how long? You must be really experienced."

"YEAH WELL RODRIGO HAS A BIG DICK!" Riza screamed, getting so frustrated with him and his constant need to win.

She covered her mouth with her hand, looking around at the now silent room. Even the sex had stopped and the peered at her. She caught sight of Breda, Falman, Havoc and Fuery by the buffet table, food half hanging out of their mouths as they started at her.

"That was really loud wasn't it?"

* * *

**A/N – Hope you guys enjoyed it! Leave me a review? I love them.**


	17. The Passion

**A/N – ALL I HAVE TO SAY IS SCHOOL AND I'M SORRY AND I SUCK AH, I hope this is worth the terribly long wait. Let me know what you think! I just fangirl over Royai sometimes jeeze. **

**Disclaimer: Nothing is mine. Pinky Promise. **

**Chapter 17: The Passion**

"Sorry."

"Lieutenant."

"Sorry Colonel...sir… It just slipped."

He gave her a mean grump, staring her down in the tiny bathroom he had angrily dragged her off into to. She leant against the cold marble sink, the feel of it making her shiver softly. She was avoiding his gaze as she internally hit herself for making that stupid remark.

"Slipped my ass Lieutenant. What the hell was that back there?" He moved closer to her, his face inches from hers yet she kept her eyes on the floor. Solider mode it was. She acted like a child and she would get what she deserved.

"I'm an idiot sir. I apologize."

"Of all the things…" He paused slightly, shutting his eyes and sighing. "How would you even know he-"

"It just slipped out Colonel, like I said. I was frustrated. Very frustrated."

He opened his eyes. "What happened to no jealousy?"

She rolled her eyes, "Easier said than done sir."

He snorted, relaxing his shoulders from his uptight stance. He took a seat in the toilet seat, clasping his hands on the top of his knees. "Not even a first date and we are already falling apart."

"Sorry sir."

"Stop the sir thing. It's just us now. I'm sorry I got so angry…just why did it have to be his penis?"

She slapped a hand to her head and along with it a little a little cringe escaped her body. "It was the first thing I thought of that would piss you off. You didn't have to go along with it either you know!"

"What does that mean?"

"OOooooh Brienne, how many orgasms can you have?" Riza said, mimicking her Colonel's voice. "Mhm, that many, well you must be experience."

He groaned, letting his head fall into his lap and covering his face from her stare. "Okay, you're right, that was stupid."

"Jealous?"

"Well did you see the guy they set you up with? I mean, if I'm going to lose a sex battle, it's going to be to him."

She raised her eyebrows. "A sex battle?"

"I just mean, he's, like you know, he's strong."

"Strong?"

"And muscular."

"Isn't that basically the same thing?"

She glided over to his seated figure, carefully putting her hand on his cheek and lifting his head up to look at hers. She smiled gently and leaned her hand down towards his warm forehead. His arms reached around and pulled her onto his lap so her legs were saddled onto his left side.

He always burned up when he was angry or upset. She always imagined that flame alchemy and something to do with it. That maybe it had seeped into his blood, much like it had made its way into his mind and boiled his blood.

The thoughts scared her and she tried her best to remember that her Roy had not lost his way to the flames just yet. She promised to shoot him if he did. She just worried when he got angry, that he may one day lose his path, no longer able to get back to his goals.

And if she was being honest, her willingness to shoot him was becoming less and less of an option for her to even consider, no matter what promises she had made him.

"You're sweating."

"It's hot."

"You're hot."

"Are you coming on to me, Ms. Hawkeye?"

"Mhm, in the middle of a bathroom in the midst of an orgy where we are pretending to be on dates with other people to win a stupid bet that's only going to drive me insane by the end of it. It's a real hot situation Roy."

He sighed, his forehead creasing against hers. "Well just think. Only 16 more dates before this thing is over. One of us wins and then we can figure out us."

She nodded and gave him a quick kiss on the nose. "Right. And then you can take me on a real date…in your apartment…with the doors locked and the windows shut."

He sighed. "We'll figure it out okay. I promise. Just for right now, let's forget what just happened. You can apologize to Pablo-"

"Rodrigo."

"-and we can play this bet as best as we can. No more jealousy!"

She nodded curtly.

"I mean it." He said again, looking into her eyes. "We can't risk getting another phone call from freaky phone man. This has to be a secret."

She nodded again, wishing she could just forget everything and stay with him in this rich marble bathroom forever.

"What are you doing to me Colonel?" She said, kissing his forehead now.

"What do you mean?"

She smiled. "I'm Riza Hawkeye. I'm the Ice Queen. I'm your right hand man. I've never been so…"

"So…what?"

"So…feminine." She admitted with a sigh. "I'm a solider. It's what I am always going to be. And now, having the chance to be with you, it's made me all…what's the right word for it…"

"Sexy?"

"No."

"Irresistible?"

"Roy! What! No!"

"Alluring?"

She shook her head and rolled her eyes, "How about vulnerable? I don't think I'm a strong as I used to be and it scares me a bit."

A flash of concern rummaged into his gaze. "That's where I think you are wrong. I don't think you've ever been stronger then you are right now."

A spark flew in her heart at his words. "How so?"

"Well…" He took a break, a blush spreading over his cheeks. "I feel like I have something to live for now and that makes me want to fight for it more. It makes me stronger."

She grinned at him, shifting her position on his lap to get a more comfortable view of his rosy face. His face was now hot with embarrassment at his confession and she almost laughing in pure irony.

"I-I mean, I'm just speaking from my perspective. I'm not generally saying that you feel the same way as me, I'm not worth your fight."

"You stupid man." She whispered to him before she leant her face towards his, their noses brushing lightly and his lips parted, a slight breath being drawn. "I've always been fighting for you. Maybe that's what's kept me strong through all these years."

"Well…good." He said and ran his hands fiercely into her hair, grasping her head so he could finally kiss her like they've been waiting to do for hours now. Lips brushing, tongues tasting and bodies molded into one.

When they finally parted, the fixed their now messy hair, organized their clothing and gave one last longing look at each other.

"We'll talk tonight, okay?" He whispered to her.

She nodded. "Let's go get these dates home."

She turned to leave the bathroom, swiftly so nobody would see. But he grabbed her wrist and stopped her before she could get any further.

"And please…no more Rodrigo penis. I don't want to think about my girlfriend with some other guy."

"Got it sir."

* * *

"Hearing the Lieutenant say the word dick is kind of arousing."

"Shut up, Havoc, she calls you a dick all the time."

Havoc slurped his strawberry daiquiri from his purple straw that he had ordered from the bar. Having had to reach over a bunch of naked couples just to receive the drink made him feel all the more successful while drinking it.

"Yeah but she's never used it in that context before."

Breda and his eyes rolled away from Havoc, moving towards the awaiting buffet table where he was quietly enjoying himself and the massive amounts of salami he had basically inhaled. Food was so much better then sex.

Especially the sex all these old people were having around him. For most normal humans, seeing old people going at it would make them lose their appetite in an instant, but for Breda, his appetite is like a continuous spawn of black holes. He's always hungry, no matter the circumstance.

"Help…Breda..Help me…" A little voice whispered from underneath the buffet table.

"Fuery? What the fuck man, I'm trying to eat."

"This lovely woman has been trying to have sex with me for the past half an hour. Please, Breda. Please. You have to hide me."

"Lovely woman? Why not just have sex with her Fuery. If she wants the D-"

"SHE'S LIKE 100 YEARS OLD BREDA!"

Breda snorted and agreed to hide his poor friend from the wrath's of the dinosaur. He pulled the table cloth just so it hid Fuery's body and Breda stood guard of the food…friend.

Meanwhile, Havoc looked around for where the Lieutenant and Colonel went. After the Colonel had stormed off angrily with Hawkeye, the dates sort of lingered around. Rodrigo didn't look too offended; he's probably used to people commenting on the size of his Johnson. And Roy's date seemed to be impatiently waiting for him to get back.

Poor girl, thinking she had a chance of getting into Roy's pants when Havoc really knew Hawkeye and Mustang were probably playing doctor in the bathroom right now.

As Havoc sipped his pink drink, sat on a bar stool and realized that he was thinking about other people's sex life rather than his own…he slowly realized that he was really in a desperate need to get laid.

* * *

Roy emerged a few minutes later, after Riza had already left to seek out Rodrigo. Now before Roy found his enthusiastic date, he wanted to have a little chat with Falman.

He walked around the numerous couples sexing it up on the various amounts furniture that were surrounding the large house. His eyes caught sight of a grey haired solider, sitting with a prostitute looking girl and smiling largely. Falman's way of flirting meant giggling and hair flipping, usually from his part. So Roy marched right over to him, grabbed him by the collar and dragged the sorry excuse for a second lieutenant all the way to the back yard where it was secluded enough for Roy to punch Falman's lights out if need be.

"What the hell Falman!"

"W-What! Come on Colonel. It's not that bad."

"It's an orgy, Falman. A fucking swinger's party. Did you and Breda conspire to make this happen?"

Vato gulped. "I may have borrowed from Breda's little date last time, but this is completely different!"

"How?!"

"Well, you don't have Breda's redneck family bashing on the Lieutenant anymore!"

Roy stopped in his angry tracks. "They were doing what?"

Falman sighed. "We didn't want to tell you thinking you might go kill the guy…"

"What did he say, Falman?"

"He was just calling Hawkeye some names…but Fuery punched the lights out of him."

Mustang almost laughed at the vision of tiny little Fuery punching Breda's brother into unconsciousness. "If I see him again, I don't think I can stop myself from burning his brains out."

Falman nodded. "Nobody would blame you either. The Lieutenant is one of us. We don't let anybody talk about one of our own."

Mustang glared at him. "Don't try and change the subject, what the hell is with all these terrible dates! Are you all out to get us? Some revenge for all the paperwork?"

But before an answer could be found, the lovely Brienne swooped out of nowhere and into the arms of the Colonel.

"Ufg" was somewhat of the noise Roy made when her body connected with his. For someone so small, she almost knocked him out.

"Oh! You're okay! I figured you had a nice little talk with your Lieutenant! You guys seemed really angry back there. It was sort of open the way she just talked about Rodrigo's dick."

_Yeah…open at a swinger's party. Who would've thought_, Roy said to himself.

"Yeah, it's all taken care of. Why don't I go buy you a drink and we can talk huh?" and he led her off towards the bar.

* * *

Riza had spotted Rodrigo almost instantly and it was as if he was waiting for her to leave Roy and have a nice awkward chat with him.

"So…you think my junk is big huh?"

She covered her face with her hands from embarrassment. "I want to apologize for that. It was in the moment. The Colonel really knows how to piss me off sometimes."

Rodrigo nodded and led her by the hand to sit down on the white couches. "Yeah, you and Mr. Mustang seem to have a sense of passion between you the two of you."

Her eyes snapped up to his. "What do you mean?"

He scratched his head lightly. "How do I explain it? It's like a powerful windstorm that is just bursting through the entire room, knocking over all the people in it except for the two of you and that all happens when you two simply look at each other. It's passion, Riza. It's the very fire in his alchemy as it is the trigger on your sniper. You blend together. There's no Flame without his Hawk and anybody with two pairs of eyes can see it."

She smiled gently. His words touched her deeply and she knew he spoke the truth. The emotion she felt for Roy almost burst through her like a wave of energy. She wanted him, even if it was going to be harder and it was going to hurt more. The passion they shared was the source of their finest moments. It clarified everything that was masked by clouds of judgment and denial. Her heart always zinged to life when she was around him, her body responding like a whip, following directly after her heart.

Roy Mustang was a powerful human being and surely nothing was more precious than being the one who obtained his heart.

The night ended roughly two hours later. After a long discussion with Rodrigo about her relationship with Roy, he solemnly promised to not breathe a word to a single soul. It felt good to have somebody understand what she was going through. When she finally told him about the date and the bet they had going, he simply laughed, asking why couple's do the strangest things.

He agreed to go back to her house, but only for a simple cup of tea, as he did not want to get in the middle of any weird love triangle with them.

Getting Brienne back was harder than expected, seeing as she wanted to take him in the broom closet rather than a bedroom. She was quite impatient but nonetheless agreed to eventually go back to Roy's house with him, where he was eventually attacked by a naked Brienne and then, after the situation got even more uncomfortable, he had asked her to leave, at least having the decency to give her clothes back.

Team Mustang had scattered around the house, eventually meeting up to ride back to their homes together. Fuery had snuck more than half of the buffet food out of the house, Falman resumed talking to that prostitute looking girl, Fuery was still on the run from the grandma porn actress and Havoc…well Havoc still didn't get laid.

* * *

**A/N – YAY, So, what did you guys think? I'm sorry if it's absolutely terrible, but I really had to move this date along so I could get to the next ones! I hope some of you Buffy fans caught the little bit of the passion quote I incorporated into it. **

**I hope you all enjoyed and I really love reviews! **

**Love you guys and thanks for putting up with me! **


	18. The Embrace

**A/N – Well, hey everybody! It's been quite some time eh. A couple days ago, I was having a royai fest and was like shit, I miss my story. I need to finish it. So I am back and I have missed you guys like crazy! I hope you guys enjoy this chapter and I hope it gets you back into the groove of things. Forgive me for mistakes! **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. **

**Chapter 18 – The Embrace**

Bright and early, on a warm Monday morning, Havoc sighed deeply and angrily as he marched into the same old office. Since the orgy weeks ago, the four amigos had been swamped with work, thanks to the Colonel, giving them no time whatsoever to brainstorm for new dates.

Hoping this week would start off with a good bang (no alternate meaning there since Havoc really wasn't getting laid), he hoped onto his chair, stretching his arms up above his head. He whipped out a cigarette, placing it gently between his lips, as if too chew it and not actually light it. It helped relieve the stress that the Colonel and Lieutenant had been placing on all of them.

Lacking was the general word for it.

Besides the general thoughtful plan to one day get Roy to the top status, they've been leaving all the paperwork to the four workers left behind.

If that wasn't enough to fuel Havoc into a pit of bitter 'I'm going to give you two the worst dates of your life for making me do so much work' spin, well then…nothing would.

As it was Havoc's turn to plot a new date, he was planning on making it a very good one. Very memorable. Lots of chaos. Making it almost impossible for the both of them to get their dates home.

Not that any of the dates had been easy on them to begin with. But where would the fun be in that? Havoc smirked to himself.

All four of them knew it was only a matter of time before the Colonel and the Lieutenant realized their love for each other, and it would be all thanks to them.

* * *

"Roy."

"Riza."

The blonde glared at her colonel, standing in her doorway, bright and early on a Monday morning.

"Can I help you with something, sir?"

He cleared his throat, his face going pink and his eyes trailed to the floor, not confident enough to look Riza in the eyes.

"I-I just thought we could go to work together…or something."

A smirk appeared on Riza's face and she was careful enough to not start laughing. She didn't want to think she was laughing at him for any other reason than his absolute adorable behavior.

"You want to go to work together, sir? Don't you think that will be a tad bit suspicious?"

His coal eyes met hers, as if he just realized what he had proposed. Snapping into colonel mode, he nodded quietly.

"No, you are right Lieutenant. I don't want to risk anything. It would look odd if we were to come to work at the same time, seeing as I'm usually the last one in the office anyways. We definitely don't need people talking."

Riza nodded, biting her bottom lip to try and hide her ongoing smile. "Right, sir. May I ask why you wanted to go to work together? It's not like we weren't going to see each other there."

Roy turned a cheeky pink color again, but kept his eyes on hers. "It's kind of agonizing not seeing you all the time. It's barely dating if you can't talk to the person you are infatuated with like you are in a relationship…and I just thought I'd come here and see you….and stuff…"

Riza liked putting him on the spot and liked even more when he rambled. He paused briefly and she took this opportunity of silence to quickly kiss him on the cheek.

"I wanted to see you too. So thanks for coming by, but I'm going to have to kindly ask you to get to work."

He chuckled. "Work? I've never heard of such a thing."

Riza rolled her eyes and fastened the hawk clip in her hair a little bit tighter. "Just wait until I win this bet, sir. You are going to wish you'd never heard of work again."

Roy muttered something under his breath about Riza wishing she could win the bet and she gasped. "What was that, sir? Because I'll have you know that I am up 4 to 3 right now."

Roy rolled his eyes. "Oh Riza. Darling Riza…I'm going to kick your lovely ass back to the beginning of this whole bet."

"That didn't make any sense, but I get where you are coming from. Don't think just because you and I have something going here that means that I'm going easy on you."

Roy raised an eyebrow and took a step closer to her. His face brushed against hers and he grabbed her waist, roughly pulling her body into his. She could feel every inch of his body as she melted into him. His nose trailed along her cheek bones, moving directly in front of her face. They were inches apart; she could pout her lips and touch his if she wanted to. She opened her mouth slightly, giving him complete control. And just as he was about to push his lips onto hers to make her morning brighter, he smirked, kissed the edge of her nose and trailed his lips to her right ear.

"Good luck," he whispered seductively and turned and strode out of her apartment, leaving a very angry hawk to fume about in the mess of Roy Mustang.

_I'm going to destroy that man. _She thought. She strode to her window and saw him look up at her from inside his car. He blew her a kiss, which she responded to with a rather obscene gesture. He chuckled and called out, "See you in 20."

Riza rolled her eyes, knowing very well that even though he left before her, she would get into work first.

* * *

"Holy titties on a stick Havoc. You're here rather early." Breda's booming voice rang out, scaring Havoc half to death.

"Every heard of inside voices dick weed? I'm here for a reason."

"Enlighten me."

Havoc smiled, about to begin his explanation when the other two bozos marched into the office.

"Perfect! The whole's gangs here. Frick and frack, sit down. Breda, you two."

Fuery rolled his tiny eyes. "Well, Good Morning to you too, Havoc! It's nice to see you. How was your weekend? Good? Great."

Havoc flung a pencil directly at Fuery, hitting him in the right lens.

"So, I was here pondering bright and early this morning and I have come up with the best date EVER."

Breda laughed. "So, what you are saying is somebody is going to end up with a broken limb, drunk or pregnant?"

Havoc just smiled eerily at the boys.

And thus, began the explanation from Havoc, reeling the gang in to prepare for tonight's date.

* * *

Just twenty minutes later, Riza walked into the office to find the boys all huddled over Havoc's desk. Upon hearing the Lieutenants footsteps on the floor, the boys all jumped back, big smiles on their faces.

"No."

"We haven't even said anything!"

"But I can tell by your stupid faces that you guys are setting me and R-The Colonel up for disaster." Riza mentally slapped herself for the slip up.

Havoc raised his eyebrow, making sure to take note of it. He was smarter than he looked and he knew the Lieutenant wouldn't easily mistake the Colonel's name…unless something had changed in the nature of the relationship. But he let it go, for now anyway.

"Lieutenant, we haven't made a date for you guys in a week. We still had a boat load of dates to go before this bet is done. It's time to get back into things."

Riza felt herself getting a little furious at them; her face began to heat up. "Why is it so important to you four? What do you gain from watching the Colonel and I go on the worst dates ever?"

A layer of the Lieutenants skin was beginning to crack. She was losing her cool and she didn't know why.

"Lieutenant-"Fuery muttered, not liking the Lieutenant getting riled up.

"Maybe because it's the only time we can actually get to have some fun here." Whispered Havoc, not meaning for anybody to actually hear what he was feeling.

"What was that, Havoc?"

Havoc bit his lip, trying to cool himself before he burst out at his Lieutenant. That was not something he wanted to do.

"I just mean that…"

"Mean what! Come on, Second Lieutenant. Say what you want to say."

Shit.

"All it ever is here is work. And I understand the irony in it because this is our jobs. But…ever since we started doing this bet, I've had the best time hanging out with everybody again. It's like the days before everybody got so serious and angry and work started to pile up and everybody gave a shit about each other. Keeping this bet going means that I have an important job in the military. I have an important job to you and the Colonel and to my coworkers. Even if this bet is making me the joker, at least it's making me be remembered for something."

Stunned silence surrounded the outburst. Riza stood there, not sure what to say to the younger Lieutenant.

"Havoc…"

Havoc avoided eye contact with everybody in the room, especially the Lieutenant. He hadn't meant to direct all his anger and feelings at her. He would never in his life dream that he would get angry at his Lieutenant. It was hard to imagine somebody like Havoc to feel like this. Sometimes it was too much to bear. He was always the joker and the other Lieutenant and the single guy. He wasn't feeling very important. Until this bet happened.

He genuinely missed hanging out with the gang. Before they moved to Central and everything went out of wacky. And he buttoned his lips because he knew there were more important things in this world than poor Havoc's feelings.

"I have to go buy more cigarettes. Sorry, Lieutenant."

And Havoc briskly waltzed out of the room, just as the Colonel entered. Roy looked around at the somber faces of his comrades as Havoc whipped right by him at full speed. Confusion masked his face as he looked at Havoc walking down the hallway, who then reached his hand into his pocket, took out a full carton of cigarettes and dumped them into the nearest trash can.

Roy looked back into the room, trying to make eye contact with one of them.

"Is somebody going to explain what just happened?"

Riza sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Sorry, sir. I-I'll be right back." And she walked out after Havoc, quickly.

Roy looked at the rest of the boys, still waiting for some kind of explanation.

"Breda?" He prompted. "What is going on?"

Breda ran his hand over his short hair, trying to make sense of the situation himself. "I think Havoc's going through something right now. He kind of snapped."

"What do you mean snapped?"

And Breda proceeded to explain the jest of it to the Colonel.

* * *

"Lieutenant Havoc! Havoc! Wait!"

He continued at a fast pace out of the building and down the street, all the while Riza chased after him, trying to get him to talk to her.

"Havoc, just wait for a second!"

He slowed down his pace so she could fall into a gentle step beside her. He kept his head down, still ashamed that he spoke out to his higher authority. Like a puppy who knew he had done something bad.

"I'm sorry Lieutenant. I don't know what was wrong with me."

She was silent for a moment, trying to rack her brain for something to say. "Havoc, its fine."

"No, it's not. I don't even know what I was saying."

"Havoc…hey, stop walking for a minute." He abided and turned slowly to face her. She smiled at him gently, feeling angry at herself for not realizing what was going on in his head.

"We have known each other for a while now. Years. You're like my brother Havoc. Don't ever be ashamed to let me know what is on your mind. I will do everything in my power to help you in any situation that you are in. You have to know that."

Havoc smiled lightly. "I know, Lieutenant. I was just having a rough time lately."

Riza nodded in understanding. "Havoc, you don't have to always have the façade up. You don't always have to be the funny man. It's okay to talk to me about it."

"I am generally a hilarious person, I can't argue with that. But, sometimes the loneliness just takes over. Let's not get into the track record of girlfriends that I can't seem to keep. You and the Colonel and the boys have always seemed to be the one constant thing in my life. I just don't want any of it to stop."

Riza couldn't hold back anymore and right there in the street, she clamped her arms around the second Lieutenant, who gasped in surprise. It took him a couple seconds to really register what was happening before he eventually melted into the Lieutenant's arms. He buried his head in her neck, letting himself enjoy the embrace of somebody who loves him.

"You're going to be okay, Havoc." She whispered into his ear. "We aren't going anywhere. Even if any of us do, you'd be coming right along with us."

Havoc chuckled into his Lieutenant's neck. "I hope you know this doesn't change a thing. We are still going forward with those dates tonight."

She smiled. "Good. I wouldn't want it any other way." She gave him a quick peck on the cheek, after finally remembering that they were in a public place and they were starting to gain an audience. It was very rare for to military soldiers to show such public affection, so she removed herself from Havoc.

As she did, she noticed Roy a couple feet away from them, giving them a quizzical look. They both kind of stared at him and he stared back, making the situation look a lot worse than what it was. So Roy just turned back around, the way he followed them, right back into the building without so much as a word

* * *

**A/N: And there you have it! I really appreciate reviews; they fuel my need to write. I've also always had a cutesy thing for Havoc and Riza in a brotherly sisterly way, so I hope you guys like that and all. Also, we rarely see a sad Havoc, so I figured it was time. Thanks everybody and enjoy! **


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